>>>
>>> IT'S
>>> IT'S ME EVERYBODY. HEY.
HEY.
HEY. ALL
HEY. ALL RIGHT WHEN IT COMES TO
PARENTING ARE YOU AND YOUR
PARTNER ON THE SAME PAGE?
HOW DO YOU KEEP THOSE
DISAGREEMENTS FROM HARMING YOUR
RELATIONSHIP?
RELATIONSHIP? HERE WITH ME TO WEIGH IN THE
ALWAYS FABULOUS CARA KINEER.
>> AND OWNER OF CLASSIC CAN TOUR
OWNER AMANDA EASTERLIN.
>> 6 AND 2.
BOYS.
BOYS.
BOYS. >>
BOYS. >> IS IT TEENAGERS.
16, 17, 18, 19.
>> GOD.
>> GOD.
>> GOD. >> GIRLFRIEND.
>> GIRLFRIEND. >> IT'S TOO MANY.
>> THAT'S TOUGH.
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> AND WE'RE BLENDED.
>> YES.
>> YES.
>> YES. >> OH, BOY.
SO WE'LL TALK ABOUT THAT.
>> WE'LL TALK ABOUT.
HOW ABOUT YOU.
>> TWO 10s AND ONE 9.
ALL AT ONCE.
>> OKAY.
>> OKAY.
>> OKAY. SO WHO HERE THINKS YOU HAVE
DIFFERENT PARENTING STYLES?
CARA?
CARA?
CARA? >>
CARA? >> OH, FOR SURE.
IN THE QUESTION IT'S LIKE HOW DO
YOU DEAL WITH IT I DO A LOT OF
THIS...
THIS...
THIS... >> ME TOO.
>> OH, MY GOSH POLAR OPPOSITE.
>> I THINK WE CURRENTLY ARE ON
THE SAME PARENTING.
BUT WE'RE ENTERING INTO A NEW
STAGE OF EMOTIONAL PARENTING SO
I'LL BE CURIOUS TO SEE HOW WE
STAY CONNECTED BECAUSE WHEN
YOU'RE LITTLER IT'S MORE
PHYSICAL.
PHYSICAL.
PHYSICAL. >> HANDS ON.
>> NOW WE'RE GETTING INTO WHERE
THEY'RE GOING TO HAVE QUESTIONS
ABOUT LIFE AND HOW THEY PROCESS
FRIENDSHIPS AND THAT MAY CHANGE
A LITTLE BIT.
WE MAY HAVE DIFFERENT RESPONSES
FOR THAT.
FOR THAT.
FOR THAT. >> YOU'LL HAVE TO KEEP US
POSTED.
POSTED.
POSTED. I
POSTED. I WOULD SAY TOO FOR MYSELF AND
JIM I THINK FOR THE BIG THINGS
OF COURSE BUT IT IS FUNNY HEF HE
WAS LIKE I WENT DOWN STAIRS
BEFORE THEY WENT TO BED -- YOU
KNOW, I WISH THAT THEY WOULD GET
-- LIKE HE'S TALKING IN THIRD
PERSON AS IF HE DOESN'T LIVE IN
THE HOUSE.
THE HOUSE. I SAID I'M DOING THE BEST I CAN.
FEEL FREE.
FEEL FREE. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD. I TELL THEM ALL THE TIME TOO.
AND I FEEL LIKE HE, YOU KNOW,
WHEN SOMETHING DOESN'T GO RIGHT
HE'S A LITTLE MORE LIKE I GUESS
I SHOULD GET INVOLVED AND I
DON'T LIKE THAT.
WE'VE TALKED ABOUT THAT.
>> WELL I JUST -- OUR BIGGEST
ARGUMENT WE DON'T ARGUE ABOUT IT
BECAUSE I DO THE DEEP BREATH
THING IT'S THE DINNER TIME.
SO OUR OLDEST IS NOT A GOOD
EATER.
EATER.
EATER. HE
EATER. HE DOESN'T WANT TO EAT.
HE'S LIKE I DON'T LIKE THIS,
THIS IS DISGUSTING.
THAT'S MY FAVORITE.
>> RIGHT BUT MY HUSBAND IS LIKE
VERY YOU HAVE TO -- WE ARE NOT
DOING ANYTHING.
DOING ANYTHING. YOU WILL HAVE NO FOOD, YOU WILL
SIT THERE UNTIL YOU EAT
EVERYTHING AND I'M LIKE I DON'T
WANT TO PUT AN EMPHASIS ON FOOD.
I'M LIKE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
EAT IT LIVE YOUR LIFE.
YOU CAN HAVE OTHER THINGS BUT
I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE YOU SIT
THERE.
THERE.
THERE. I
THERE. I FEEL LIKE IT MAKES HIM SO
ANGSTY AND ANGRY BECAUSE HIS
CHILD ISN'T DOING WHAT HE SAID.
LET'S SIT HERE AND SEE WHO'S MAN
ENOUGH.
ENOUGH.
ENOUGH. LET'S JUST MOVE ON.
>> AND THAT'S A TOUGH CALL
BECAUSE HIS INTENTIONS ARE GOOD
HE WANTS THEM TO GET NUTRITION
AND NOURISHMENT BUT OBVIOUSLY
THAT APPROACH ISN'T GOING TO
WORK AT THAT AGE.
>> IT DRIVES ME NUTS BUT I JUST
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.
>> WHAT DO YOU THINK, AMY.
I KNOW IT PROGRESSES FROM THE
EATING AND THEN THE
DISCIPLINING.
DISCIPLINING. >> I THINK WHAT HAPPENS WITH
THAT TO SUPPORT CARA WHAT
HAPPENS IS THEY START SWIMMING
IN THE SOUP OF A LOT OF
ATTENTION AT DINNER TIME OR
SWIMMING IN THE SOUP OF NOT
BRUSHING THEIR TEETH.
A LOT OF ATTENTION OF NEGATIVE
AND THEY START -- ONCE THEY
START SWIMMING IN THE SOUP AND
THAT'S WHO THEY ARE IT'S HARD TO
GET OUT OF THAT.
AND IF YOU IGNORE IT THEY WILL
WANT FOOD EVENTUALLY AND THEN
YOU PROBABLY CAN MOVE THEM IN
THE RIGHT DIRECTION.
I'M WITH CARA ON THAT.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. I KNOW WHAT WE'RE DOING TONIGHT
WATCHING THIS SEGMENT.
>> YEAH, WE ARE.
>> OUR INTENTIONS.
I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT I THINK
WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE.
EVERYBODY YOU WANT I BELIEVE MY
HUSBAND AND I BOTH WANT THE BEST
FOR OUR CHILDREN IT'S JUST WE GO
ABOUT IT SO EXTREMELY DIFFERENT.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH.
>> YEAH. WOULD YOU SAY ONE OF YOU YELLS
MORE?
MORE?
MORE? >>
MORE? >> HE'S A YELLER.
I'M MORE OF LIKE YOU DIDN'T
CLEAN YOUR ROOM YOU'RE NOT GOING
OUT BYE.
OUT BYE.
OUT BYE. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO STEAL MY
JOY.
JOY.
JOY. HE
JOY. HE FEELS LIKE I'M GOING TO TEACH
HIM A LESSON.
I'M GOING TO LECTURE YOU.
HIS INTENTIONS ARE SO GOOD
BECAUSE HE'S A CONSULTANT AND HE
GETS PAID TO TALK AND I HAVE TO
REMIND HIM LIKE WE'RE NOT PAYING
YOU HERE.
YOU HERE.
YOU HERE. JUST GIVE THEM THE CONSEQUENCE
AND MOVE ON.
>> AND THEN FOLLOW THROUGH ON
THAT CONSEQUENCE.
THAT CONSEQUENCE. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. AND MOVE ON.
>> I'M SAYING I'M MORE LIKE HIM.
I'M THE LECTURE.
YELL.
YELL.
YELL. AND
YELL. AND THEN JIM'S LIKE WHERE IS
THAT GOING.
THAT GOING. >> EXACTLY.
>> EXACTLY. >> I'M THE DISCIPLINARIAN AND HE
GETS TO BE THE FUN PARENT.
WE CLASH SOMETIMES WITH THAT.
ESPECIALLY WITH HAVING MY
CHILDREN SO CLOSE TOGETHER, TO
CONTROL THAT CHAOS I WAS VERY
DISCIPLINED.
DISCIPLINED. I WAS VERY RIGID.
WHEN I SAID SOMETHING I HAD TO
KNOW MY CHILDREN WERE GOING TO
REACT BECAUSE I'D BE A
LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE.
LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE. HE WOULD COME IN AND HE'D BE
LIKE WHO WANTS COOKIES AND I'M
LIKE I'VE BEEN TELLING THEM NO
ALL DAY LONG.
>> JIM IS A LITTLE BIT OF THAT
BUT MORE SOMETIMES I THINK HE
CAN BE A LITTLE JUDGE JUDY ON
ME.
ME.
ME. JUST
ME. JUST LIKE I'M DOING THE BEST
THAT I CAN.
AND THEN THROW A DOG IN THE MIX
OR A PET.
OR A PET.
OR A PET. AND THEN JIM IS SUPER HELPFUL
BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE RIGHT
IT'S MORE HE'S FUN DAD.
WELL THIS PSYCHOLOGIST REALLY
THOUGHT TOO IT ACTUALLY CAN BE
HEALTHY IF YOUR CHILDREN SEE YOU
HAVE TWO DIFFERENTING PARENTING
STYLESES.
STYLESES.
STYLESES. WHAT DO YOU THINK, IS IT BETTER
TO ALWAYS BE ON THE SAME PAGE
ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF THE
CHILDREN?
CHILDREN?
CHILDREN? SHOULD YOU SHOW THAT UNITED
FRONT?
FRONT?
FRONT? >>
FRONT? >> I THINK YOU ALLUDED TO IT
EARLIER FOR THE BIG THINGS I
THINK YOU HAVE TO BE ON THE SAME
PAGE OR YOU'RE JUST GOING TO
BUTT HEADS ALL THE TIME.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> AND I THINK TOO IF THERE'S A
SITUATION ARISES IF YOU CAN GO
TIME OUT KIDS, GO SIT OVER
THERE.
THERE.
THERE. LET US WORK IT OUT.
IT'S USUALLY WE'RE LOOKING
RETROSPECT ON A SITUATION WHERE
I'VE BEEN AGGRAVATED HOW IT WAS
HANDLED AND WE NEED TO HAVE A
DISCUSSION.
DISCUSSION. SO IT'S REALLY HARD TO BE THAT
EXAMPLE BECAUSE A LOT OF TIMES.
>> YOU'RE CAUGHT IN THE MOMENT.
>> WE ARE.
>> WE HAVE FOUR TEENAGERS.
WE'RE DEALING WITH RECKED CARS
AND TATTOOS AND THE GRADES, AND
COLLEGE TUITION.
COLLEGE TUITION. MY HUSBAND'S AN ENGINEER AND I
THINK SOMETIMES HE GETS
PARALYSIS BY ANALYSIS.
LIKE YOU RECKED THE CAR AGAIN.
YOU GOT A SPEEDING TICKET AGAIN.
I THINK HE'S JUST LIKE.
>> I DON'T BLAME HIM THAT'S A
LOT.
LOT.
LOT. >>
LOT. >> IT'S MORE LIKE LET'S TALK
ABOUT THIS.
ABOUT THIS. YOU'VE GOTTEN TICKETS FOR
TEXTING AND DRIVING YOU DON'T
HAVE ACCESS TO THE CAR ANYMORE.
AND WE ACTUALLY AGREED UPON THAT
WHICH I WAS SHOCKED SO THAT WAS
EXCITING.
EXCITING.
EXCITING. >> AGAIN, THAT'S KIND OF THE BIG
-- THAT'S A BIG ISSUE.
>> IT'S A HUGE ISSUE.
>> BUT IT'S MORE HOW YOU GOT
THERE WITH PUNISHMENT AND THE
CONSEQUENCES.
CONSEQUENCES. >> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> I THINK THE CONSEQUENCES IS A
BIG DEAL BECAUSE I FIND THAT HE
SAYS THAT I SAY THAT I'LL COULD
DO STUFF AND IN THE END HE'S
LIKE YOU TOLD HER YOU WERE
TAKING THE PHONE FOR WEEK AND
I'M SEEING IT.
>> I WAS LIKE I DID TAKE IT FOR
THREE DAYS AND THEN SHE JUST DID
IT AND I'M NOT PAYING ATTENTION.
SO IT'S MORE WHEN THEY SEE LIKE
OH, BOY I CAN'T PLAY HIM OR HER.
THEY'RE BOTH AND HOW DO YOU GO
ABOUT DOING THAT.
OKAY EXPERTS OFFER MORE ADVICE
FOR WHAT TO DO IF YOU ARE HAVING
PARENTAL CLASH.
PARENTAL CLASH. DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T A GOOD
ENOUGH WAY.
ENOUGH WAY. >> I AGREE WITH THE LIGHTENING
UP BECAUSE I THINK AT ONE POINT
I THOUGHT THERE WAS EITHER A
RIGHT WAY OR A WRONG WAY.
SO WE SPENT MORE TIME ARGUING
ABOUT THE RIGHT OR WRONG WAY
UNTIL I CHANGED MY PFKS AND
COMMIT TO THAT INSTEAD OF ENDING
IN AN ARGUMENT AND ACCOMPLISHING
NOTHING.
NOTHING.
NOTHING. >> EXACTLY AND THEN THE KIDS ARE
SEEING YOU ARGUE.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT.
>> RIGHT. >> SO THE GOOD THING THAT CAME
OUT OF IT THAT'S INCREDIBLE THAT
YOU CAN BE MATURE ENOUGH TO SAY
THAT.
THAT.
THAT. >>
THAT. >> I FEEL STRONGLY THAT MY WAY
IS THE RIGHT WAY.
I FEEL STRONGLY ABOUT THAT.
I THINK WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU'RE
A YELLER IS THEN YOU FEEL GUILTY
AND THEN YOU DON'T WANT TO DO
THE CONSEQUENCE AND ALSO START
DUELLING OUT UNREASONABLE
CONSEQUENCES.
CONSEQUENCES. ONE WEEK, TWO WEEKS.
WE'RE GOING TO MONTHS NOW ON THE
PHONE AND THAT'S NOT REALISTIC.
SO I THINK IF YOU STAY CALM AND
STICK TO THE CONSEQUENCE YOU DO
THIS AND YOU LOSE YOUR PHONE AND
YOU'RE CALM THEN EVERYBODY KNOWS
THE CONSEQUENCE AND IT'S A
NATURAL CONSEQUENCE.
NATURAL CONSEQUENCE. THAT'S HOW I FEEL.
>> AND THEY THINK ABOUT IT
BEFORE THEY DO IT.
>> AND THEY KNOW THE CONSEQUENCE
LIKE YOU WERE LATE SO YOU KNOW
YOU'RE NOT GOING OUT NEXT
WEEKEND.
WEEKEND.
WEEKEND. >> I JUST THINK TOO I LOVE THE
LIGHTEN UP THING.
>> IT AIN'T THAT DEEP AND I'LL
SAY THAT TO MY HUSBAND TOO.
MY MOM ALWAYS SAID HOW ARE THEY
GOING TO TURN OUT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING KNOW THAT HOW
THEY'RE GOING TO TURN OUT.
>> CRYING AT DINNER.
>> YES, TRUE.
>> WE WANT YOU TO WEIGH IN.
FACEBOOK PAGE.
FACEBOOK PAGE. DIFFERENT PARENTING STYLES.
YES
YES
YES ON
YES ON THE SAME PAGE.
WE EVEN EACH OTHER OUT.
INTERESTING.
INTERESTING. >> THAT'S NICE.
ON THE SAME PAGE 67%.
I LOVE THAT.
THAT'S REALLY GOOD.