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as most of you know I was a pretty good
wrestler in high school and not to toot
my own horn but you're ready for
something toots now despite being made
fun of for the skin tight spandex that
we wore I've wrestled my sophomore
junior and senior year in high school I
qualified for the d1 state championships
twice and placed fifth in the state of
Ohio aka the second most competitive
wrestling stay in America I was a
corn-fed Ohio boy and I wore that
spandex with part of the reason I was
good was because I had a power move and
it was called the lateral drop let me
tell you I would launch fools with the
lat drop if my opponent leaned a little
too far forward time I would pick them
up toss them like a rag doll and they to
end up straight on their back
pinned hand raised champion yeah there
was nothing like throwing sweaty men six
feet in the air over my head and
flattening them like a pancake it always
worked also quick side know I'm well
aware that it looks like these cartoons
are like making love but that's
wrestling for you anyway so it was my
senior year and I was in the
championships of this sectional and at
this point in the season I was
undefeated I had never lost before I was
35 and know the beast from the east it
was feeling pretty good about my
wrestling skills right and then I look
at the bracket and know I was paired up
against the invincible the
indestructible the three time state
champion Dominick Ober Nader hasn't lost
a match his whole life listen to his
name
Dominic later he's basically the
Terminator
so I forfeited the match that's right I
had tweaked my leg a little bit and I
figured why would I wrestle this kid now
and potentially expose my secret lateral
drop for no reason when I'm probably
gonna have to wrestle him in the state
championship when it really mattered and
sure enough all the wrestlers on his
team talk [ __ ] about me forfeiting but I
didn't give up
it was a strategic forfeit ok my leg
hurt a little bit and you guys don't
understand this kid is basically a
machine he's the best wrestler in the
State he had like boundless Tufts of
thick dark chest hair and his last name
is Abu nadir
fast forward a little bit I'm in the
district championships and I again I
technically already qualified for the
next step which was state so I was
cruising I go to look at my bracket see
my opponent I can't forfeit twice no way
I'd lose all my street cred so I'm on
the side of the mat hoping for a miracle
waiting to get my ass kicked and my
teammates come up to me what do you say
thanks guys appreciate your help match
starts the whistle blows and I lock up
with this monster and he was my worst
nightmare come true strong fast agile
chest hair Tufts I had no chance or so
he thought it's the end of the second
period and the guys beating me seven to
two which I was actually proud of
considering they usually flattened
everyone in the first period even though
it's clear I'm losing the Crowder's on
their toes because they know that I
could catch the Terminator in my career
ending lat drop at any second and sure
enough the third period starts in
terminators and too far forward this
make or break my one chance to win the
match by pin and upset the three times
de champion I was about to make history
I lock in my underhook I lean back I
close my eyes and throw my hips Oh
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abbu Nader is four feet in the air above
my head it's happening the crowd stands
up my teammates are cheering ooh ah boo
Nader lands on his back i grip tighter
than I've ever gripped before it's the
moment of truth and bam he slips out and
escapes [ __ ] dude my life is over and
now he's mad and threatened so he grabs
me he throws me down I regret every life
decision I've ever made he maneuvers my
body a new position I didn't think was
possible and as I'm on my back as I'm in
the most vulnerable position of my life
having almost just pulled off a miracle
but failed the local newspaper snapped
this picture the most embarrassing
moment of my life
caught on camera and slapped on the
front page of the local [ __ ] Gazette
and what's worse than four years later
as I'm writing this story I google the
picture and you know dominic
Combinator's Twitter pops up so first
I'll as you can see by his profile
picture the dude is still a machine and
he's wrestling in college now but at the
beginning of the year he tweeted hey
that Logan Paul kid you guys all hate
now here's me putting the hands on him
in high school at Logan Paul with a
picture underneath what alleged I'm not
gonna lie I will never live that down
though but I bet I could beat his ass
now especially in a boxing match
suck my ass Abu nadir liked it subscribe
peace
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