Hello everybody. My name is Markiplier
and welcome back to Yandere Simulator
*Japanese singing plays in the background*
🎵Ichi, Ni, no San, Shi de Hajimeyou~🎵
🎵Tokimeku kokoro🎵
🎵Gyuttodakishimete~🎵
🎵(cute jingle)🎵
🎵Ichi, Ni, no San, Shii de Hajimeyou~🎵
🎵Tokimeku kokoro🎵
🎵Hitomiwotojite🎵
🎵Kono amazuppai mi o hajike sasetai~🎵
🎵inuite misete~🎵
🎵(cute jingle, again)🎵
*warp of the music*
Ic̣̟͚̯̪̹̞ẖ͎͟i̥̗͖̙,͉̗̹̝̳̞ ̢N͏̝͚̤i̬̘̱͎͇͟ͅ,͉̳͉͔̭̖̕ͅ ͖̠̦̲̣͝ͅn̺̼͔̘̮o͎͇̘͙ ̘̥͍̺̯̲S̜̫a̼̦̖̺n̴͍̫,҉ ̦́S̱͚͓̯h̢̤̳̱̜i̝̤i͚̟̪̮̭ ̜̰̰d͎e̶͙͖̘
🎵hajimeyou~🎵
🎵Tokimeku Ko-
*horrific sounds and warped music*
🎵Hitomiwotojite-
*more distortion and dissolving of the music*
Ỵ̧̬̺̹̖̜a̵s͔a̡̫̜̤̰̪s̡̙͍̙͈͕̱̙h̪̼̗̖̜͓̀i̱̖̗̙ ͏̗̯̯̮̤̩k͈̩͉̹̖̦͉isu ̹̝̮̭͎͓̰d̘̜͈͈̙͔e̷͉͕̙̹ ̀o̹͕̣̖̟s̬̦̼̀h̲̖i̯͍͕̞̹̙̭e͙͡ṭ͔͈̲͢ḙ̲̟̰̭͇
🎵Ichi, Ni, no San, Shi-
-͙̰̐ͤͬ͒͘d̟̹͍̦͙̠̠̒ͦͬ̃ê͉̪̙̍̓̂̌̚-̦̣̉̂̑̀̀́
🎵chikadzuku~🎵
🎵kimi to no kyori-
-͑̂ͥ̌̐ͮ͡g̫͙̥ͅa͏͖-͓̣̞̠̜̝̹̐̋́̾̓̀
🎵Zutto ase-
-̪̙̭̲̗̤͗n͓͈̯̥͎̅́̌a͒̄͒̈̅̚į̭͎͓̰̥̥̓͛̅̎
-omoi🎵
*there is only death and destruction*
(music ends)
YAY! I hope you enjoyed that, that took a lot of work to make
and it probably wasn't worth it but we're going to continue on anyway
because this episode
is all about love!
believe it or not, in the game now is a way
to get your rival to GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM SENPAI
without having to muuurder them
which is an interesting prospect
because as a normal Japanese schoolgirl,
I've solved all my problems through murderrr
because I love Senpai.
In case that wasn't obvious,
everyone I've ever killed
was because I loOOVE him so much
and because I cAARE about him
and because he's.....
..PRETTY
Anyway. So, normal...
..everyday...
Yandere-chan here
is gonna go into school and play Cupid
and be a little matchmaker for our lovely, lovely RIVAL
who we don't care about very much
but y'know...she's alright
and it just so happens to be
- in case that wasn't obvious in previous episodes -
our rival is Boobs Mackenzie
Don't know why!
Don't know why anyone would fall in love with her.
...considering how ugly she is...
...and how her personality sucks...
...I know pretty much everything about her is just awful and terrible and...
...why would anyone love a big ol' bag of ass like THAT?
BUT that's not what we're trying to figure out here
we know that someone in this school
- as rare as it might seem -
actually has a crush on Boobs Mackenzie.
Don't ask me why.
I- I- I don't see anything appealing about her, but maybe some loser somewhere in the school will.
So
what you need to do is you need to go be friends with him
and then you need to go be friends with her
and then you need to have a great time doing everything else in this school
...to get senpai to love you...
...which is going to happen...eventuallyyYYY...
So the first thing that you need to do is you need to not be here right now
because if you're right here right now means that you're staring at senpai
*Mark rambling, longingly*...whose in the distance and whom I love so much....
hello?
magical..?
magical girl wand
Hey!
I'm visibly armed with a magical school girl..wa-..
*screaming*
haBOOSKIE!
Senpai: This can't be happening! Somebody, help! HELP! Mark: uh..
Yandere-chan: *gasp*
Yandere-chan: n..no...wait...
Mark: ...UH...
SORRY 'BOUT THAT
That's not what I intended, this uh..
Yandere-chan: now senpai could never love me..
Mark: well, I mean, uh, that's a bit of a dis- *mumbling*
-connect from the episode which is all about love
remember this episode is about love
and caring and understanding and sharing
which is what I was trying to do with the magical girl wand
when I shared it with her brain
Come on down, skedaddle on down here
yeah, you're almost there - no, not that door.
Don't worry about that door.
I know you're stupid but that's not the cooking club.
Alright so now Boobs Mackenzie is gonna go over in there
and do whatever the hell she's gonna do
no one really cares
but - hey! Hi!
How's it goin'?
What's up with you?
Hey!
OH!
*gasp* are you in luuuurrrve(love)?
Hi!
Hey
Mark: I-
Riku Soma, with an elegant accent: I saw the most peculiar thing today - there was a kitten walking around the school!
I'm not sure how it got in here
It was quite an adorable little creature. I wish I could get a second to look at it...
If you see that kitten anywhere, would you mind taking a picture of it for me?
Mark: ooh! Ooh a kitten. Oh Riku Soma wants a photograph
And for some reason this fucking guy has a British accent
*continuing to read* ..wants a photograph of the elusive kitten that he spotted somewhere on school grounds
Okay fine, fuck you, I'll do that
Riku: It's good to find someone else who shares my appreciation for felines! Best of luck to you!
Mark: oh best of luck to you too, pip pip cheerio whatever, apparently we're in Britain-Japan
I have no idea what's going on but I don't care
Don't go anywhere...don't go nowhere
*gasp*
heeey.....
Oh! Wait! Hang on...
*Mark meows like a cat*
*aggressive meowing*
Heeey!
meow!
Aaawww....
just gonna sneak back over here..
hopefully he's not gone yet
that asshole better not be gone yet
if he leaves, I might just have to go snap and kILL PEOPLE
I hate to resort to that -*laughs*
that's like..not..totally not my favorite thing
*grunt noise*
anyway, hello!
Riku: yes, that's it! That's the kitten I saw!
Mark: OH
Riku: Hmm..it appears to be in good health
Mark: oOh
Riku: how delightful!
Mark: oOOh
how delightful!
*mocking blabbering*
Okay, good! Pip pip cheerio, glad I could help
go off to wherever the hell you come from
mmm, have a good day
fuck you~
anyway
So back to Boobsie who's busy right now doing a thing
So I'm just gonna *weird noise*
yeah okay
alright, thank you
alright
anyway
now that I got that,
visibly leewwwd, but that's okay
Heey, what're you doin' over there?
Can I talk to you?
Can't talk right now?
Hey..
Can I talk to you?
Boobs Mackenzie: Ugh...my uniform doesn't fit..it's too tight around the chest
Mark: oh..
Boobs Mackenzie: I want to get a new uniform but...I can't afford one right now...
Mark: oOhh
Boobs Mackenzie: I guess there's no point in complaining...it's not like there's anything you can do...
Mark: OH IS THERE??
OH IS THERE NOTHING??
I JUST WANNA BE YOUR FRIIEEND
aaandd... habooskie!
*weird Mark noises*
lemme just sew my fingers in there,
that'll get my hands ready to grab around Boobs Mackenzie's neck
Hi senpai~ always studying, huh?
you're always so handsome. ;)
alright anyway I got your bullshit
Boobs Mackenzie: No way!
Mark: *mocking sound*
Boobs Mackenzie: this uniform is tailored to my exact measurements!
Mark: *more mocking noises*
Boobs Mackenzie: now I'll finally be comfortable!
Mark: *yet another noise*
Boobs Mackenzie: thank you so much!
Mark: I'm glad you finally accepted your ugliness, y'know
you didn't need to be uncomfortable being around each other, we all were aware of how hideously ugly you were
okay so now that I got that out of the way, they're both my friends, right?
Love! I know who you love
Someone wants to meet you! I think they're your type
ooohhh I think you'll like 'em!
probably not though because you got heart eyes by Senpai over there and I don't want you to-
that's not Senpai!
not at all!
...hi
you do your thing still you weirdo
yeah yeah, you better go!
oh, hurry
love awaits
Cupid won't wait for nobody!
oh, did I tell the guy that he was..supposed to..be there..I don't..think..
*raises pitch* did I tell that guy that he was supposed to....
I don't think I di- ah, she's gonna be waiting a while isn't she?
ahh...I did...oh no
sorry can't talk right now
ohh
I didn't tell the guyy
ah...ugh...
that's...he's probably long gone
where you at - ohhhh heeeeyyy!
the love of your life is waiting for you!
loOOOve awaits
she's at the east fountain. Take this earpiece and go there. I'll give you advice
You'll never do fail!
you'll probably do fail but you won't do fail right now!
go! Go friend GO!
LOOOOVE!
IT'S LOOOOOOVEE!!
you need to hurry the fuck up, love will not wait for you
you've got to go man, go!
LOOOOOOVE~
okay now that love is about to sssspew forth,
we can only assu-
Boobs Mackenzie: ugh...was this just a prank?
Mark: WHA? WHA? What - you - wha...whayouWHA??
WHAT??
LOOVE!
COURT
someone - it was right there!
he was right there
trust me
not a prank
not one of the- what're y...ookay alright
welcome back, okay alright okay
hang on...I'm gonna just..I think...yeah here
habooskie!
Okay, now I shall make love happen!
Through pure manipulation, which is how love should be!
*mumbles* in my opinion
*quietly* that's how I'm gonna get senpai to love me
heey
ohh hii!!
hellooooo
ohh, you're so....
I guess you can say and I can say
you are BEAUTIFUL
I love you
Let's get MARRIED
Let's have KIDS
Let's NEVER GO BACK TO THIS SCHOOL AGAIN
Let's forget about this "Senpai"
and I'M your Senpai baby~
alright, okay
Negative remark!
'bout what?
oh shit
I didn't learn what she liked and didn't like
she didn't really like fighting
"um okay" - GODDAMMIT
Positive
she likes COOKING!!
oOOOH
I know
I know!
COMPLIMENT
You got GREEAAATTT BOOOBBS
I feel like I'm playing Hunie Pop all over again
Let's see...
aauhh your pantieshh suit you
You look.. SEXEHH
You look se- ah, shit
oh, boy
so, OKAY, showin' off!
oh, jeez
ahh, show off my....my big brain!
oh boy
give gift! I got nothin'
I was not prepared for any of this
I was- I was not prepared
okay, alright, goodbye..
alright
see ya!
okay..! alright...!
WELL that didn't..go..well
alright then.. I guess were..done then...
ywanna try again??
-weird noises-
ywetry- okay can't do dat..
ALRIGHT, SO IM - IM NOT GOOD AT THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT MATCHMAKING
CONSHIDERING I DON'T KNOW WHAT HUMAN EMOTIONS AAAREE..
BhUUTT LETS- LET'S TRY AGAIN TOMORROW!
Let's-let's co- let's circle back to it!
You-you both did good! Good hustle out there! *clapping*
*still clapping* You did great champ! ya-ya-ya swung for the fences, slugger!
You did great. Y'know, you should believe in yourself. Hey, EVERYBODY'S a winner.
*Mark sighs*
Get ready everybody. You're about to see what YEARS and YEARS of Hunie Pop has done
To make me a BETTER
....l-love making man-mer..
I don't know
I bet you don't like VIOLENCE!
*processing*
YEAH!
VIOLENCE IS FOR WEIRDOS, AND MURDERERS AND YAN-DEERS!
Kay, Positive - i dunno
Theatre? Art? Arrt? AAARRRTT?
...OKAY! No art, okay, compliment
uhhhhh
..Octodog- you-you-you made octodogs!
and I, you-you must - theyre GREAT!
YEAH!!!
WOHH!
Even Yandere-chan likes Octodogs!
Show off...
My nothingness - Courage
M'Kay, don't have acshluh I-I-I- I didn't do anything differently this time
so I guess I didn't
*Deep breath*
...ChAAnge anything OKAY WELL ANYWAYS
So..see ya later
..alright..okay
alright, okay, alright, ANYWAY
..TOMORROW'S A NEW DAY, YOU GUYS DID GREAT OUT THERE
uh
Great hustle...Good Job!
The other team, y'know, they may have won but...
Pretty good!
*more weird Mark noises *blehhganurrmmble-OOOHHH
eeAH!
YEAH!!
your gunna get smArt-ER!
yeeeeeesssss
YEEEEEESSSSSS
Your now smarter, right? You feel gooder?
you feel better?
Alright, whatever you feel, I don't really care but
We're gunna go tomorrow, You're gunna get
...BRYREHHH
you're gunna really get 'er!
MMMMMM
You're gunna really MLAHHHLEH
*GULLLGH, your gunna give- incoherent mumbling*
cOOOOOL Cosplayyy!
ME-MEME
WHO DOESNT LOVE MEMES??
W H O DOESN'T LOVE ME-
You don't love memes
No wonder I fffff...rikin hate you
Twin-drills are the best!
yeah, okay.
showoff- You got, I GOT ONE WISDOM!
BOOM!
BOOMSHAKALAKA!
BOOMBAdabembatchsa still don't have a gift but thats okay~🎵
🎵uhbuhbah FINISH.
Okay. We're doin' great! *claps again*
*still clapping* doin' great out there!
*still clapping*..doin' great. You guys are doin' great.... you guys are doin' great... ya doin' great..
We didn't get a lot of progress like i'd hope it'd would
but, y'know
whatever, TOMORROW! Tomorrow's another day!
Tomorrow's another day, champs! You guys did good, you should feel good about yourselves
I mean really
Boobs McKenzie you should feel bad about yourself for bein' who you are..
and then the guy - I don't even know what your name is, but you should feel bad about yourself
for tryin' to cater to someone elses needs and not yoUR OWN
AAYY-GOODBYE!!
see ya tomorrow
..Compliment...
*deep inhale of consideration*
yoouu aree cUUUUUte, you're a cutie!
Cutie!
No one's ever called ya that before, huh, sure.
Sure, yeah, sh- okay
SCIENCE
..OOKAY you don't like science!
You don't like - YAY! She doesn't like the Occult.
I dunno how we would've found that out but I don't have a GODDAMN GIFT
Okay Sluggers!
A-alright y-you lovers y-you little lovers you're gunna be lovers tomorrow!
I know that for a fact!
...and by tomorrow I mean the magical repeating Thursday.
I haaavveee to naaaill theeeeeeEEEEesse yyoouuuu liiIIIikkkeeee....
.....sccchooooollll?????
DAMMIT!!!
You don't like...cosplay..
*high pitched, angry*FAAHHKK!
AIGHT
*slaps hands in a weird way*
MASTER MIND MARKIPLIER
*mumbling *Master-bater Markiplier...
*mocking* your stockings suit you!
....Yep, le-a-okay, you DONT LIKE -
OHH
*understanding*
Niiiice
Niiice.. you don't like Goosssip.
HELL YEAH!!!
You loOOove...FAMILY
It's like we share the same heart!
I KNOW!!!
LOVE ME!!
*reading* You have to go?
Oh that's too bad! I would really love to spend more time with you.
*derp voice* You can spend forever with MEE.
*soul-sucking noises from hell*
YOU'LL NEVER BOTHER SENPAI, WILL YOU??
*more soul-sucking noises*
HREHHH
HRERH
HRAAHH
HUH, DID IT WORK??
I think it worked, right?
AND NOW YOUR IN LOVE FOREVER
...I think..
gunna go home now..
go home..
Better not
*Mark reads*
*high-pitched* WHAT?!
*becomes more upset*
*high-pitched, again* WHAT?!
*Letters slamming*
*high-pitched, yet again* WHAT?!
*still high-pitched* WHAT?!
*ever still high-pitched* WHATABUNCHOFBULLSHIT
*high pitch remains* SNAAAAAP
*high pitch remains* SNAAAAAAAP
*Manly screams*SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
SNAAAPP!
ALRIGHT! SO THEY FELL IN LOVE AND THEY'RE TOGETHER FOREVER.
A- AND IT HAD A SATISFYING CONCLUSION AND EVERYONE IS HAPPY.
...RIGHT?!
Okay, so
That was the WASTE OF TIME that is LOVE.
It's much EASIER and much FASTER just to END EVERYONE THAT WANTS TO GET IN THE WAY
OF YOU AND SENPAI.
So let that be the lesson that everybody learns.
Thank you, everybody so much for watching.
And as always, I will see you
In the next video!
Buh-bye!
*outro music with Tyler dancing*