Ho-kay, zee doctor is in.
I am zee doctor.
I’m Dr. Von Noonelikesyou.
I am zee doctor.
Und I understand you has problems, yes?
Zis is why you come?
You cries into zee night, like fairy boy, who cries into zee night, yes?
Ho-kay, zis is way too close.
I fink doctor knows why you is here, Wii U.
You have come because, how you say…you have bad rap, no?
People assume fings about you, und zis is hurtful, yes?
Und you feels…you has more to offer than peoples gives credit for having youz to offer.
Und also Derek needs do top ten list and need humorous introduction for top ten list.
Ho-kay, I fink I has positive solutions.
Today, we ignore fings you screws up and look at fings you no screws up as bad.
Zis make you feel better and helps fix wrong impression and you gets ladies, ho-kay?
We’re kicking off the countdown with a game that might cause a stir.
Then again, this game would cause a stir no matter where we put it.
Put it too high, and Sonic haters freak out.
Put it too low, Sonic fans freak out.
Keep it off the list, and they literally try to kill you.
But the truth is…it’s right where it belongs.
The game often misfires with its Mario Galaxy-inspired design, but when it clicks, Sonic Lost World
is really engaging.
It’s fun, it’s beautiful…the on-rails levels, in particular, are a blast—processing.
And even though it’s a slower Sonic game, it still has that frantic feel that defines
so many of the hedgehog’s classics.
Lost World isn’t perfect, but sometimes, it’s brilliant.
And really…that’s Sonic.
BIT.TRIP was arguably the best new series to come out of WiiWare.
So for Nintendo fans, there was something comforting about logging into the Wii U’s
eShop…and finding more BIT.TRIP.
Runner 2 picks up where the original left off, offering the same unique blend of platformer
and rhythm game.
Only this time, the package is a whole different story.
Gorgeous new graphics and a huge new world make Runner 2 more of an adventure…than
just a retro remembrance.
You can also play as a pickle.
Okay, so it’s just an HD remake of a 3DS game.
And yes, it’s available on other platforms.
But when you combine Resident Evil with the GamePad…something magical happens.
Now, for starters, there’s off-screen play.
Turn off the lights, plug in the headphones and prepare to sh*t yourself.
But it’s also useful for playing on the screen.
Using the GamePad to swap weapons with a touch, having your map a glance away…it just works.
And it doesn’t hurt that it’s also the best Resident Evil game since 4.
Add some surprisingly fun online play, and this is one Wii U port that isn’t taking
on water.
Alright, maybe it is.
Another third-party gem, another game about water.
Zis would seem to indicate Wii U is having zee longing for cleansing, yes?
Und new beginnings.
Und maybe it wants have sex time with zee water buffalo.
Well…either way, this game’s awesome.
It’s an ingenious platformer, that feels more authentically old-school than some of
your favorite Super Nintendo games.
And even though it’s also available on the 3DS, the Wii U version gives you a few options.
You can play off-screen, like the 3DS…or you can enjoy this thing in gorgeous HD.
Then you can tamper with the very planes of reality…
And spray chicks with water.
This is not a game for everyone.
It’s a game a very select audience would even appreciate, and—based on the sales—only
a select group of that audience even bothered.
And yet, there’s a certain magic to The Wonderful 101 that makes the whole thing,
as crazy and complicated and utterly confusing as it may be…a game very much worth playing.
In fact, it reminds of me the kind of experiences that defined the GameCube.
Weird games.
Quirky games.
Games that just…tried to be different.
And that’s where this bizarre, action, strategy…thing…actually succeeds.
Much like its platform, there’s nothing quite like…The Wonderful 101.
What could’ve been the best third-party Nintendo exclusive in years…ended up
walking away, leaving behind a gaping third-party hole.
And a little lipstick on the mirror.
But you know what?
Even though it went on to see other platforms…you can tell where its heart is.
Rayman Legends does more with the GamePad than almost any other Wii U game.
You swipe it, you tap it…most importantly, you use it.
And in a way that makes this amazing platformer…feel even more amazing, on Wii U.
That’s because it was made for Wii U. Aww.
One of the best things about the Wii U is that…it’s actually an alternative to the
other two consoles.
A real alternative, too.
Something genuinely different.
And no game shows it more than this one.
While most gamers spent 2013 stealing cars, fighting cops and driving recklessly through
a massive, crime-infested city in Grand Theft Auto V…Wii U owners were doing the same
thing…
But…in a world made of LEGO.
How perfectly Nintendo, right?
LEGO City has all of the freedom that defines GTA, but with none of the…other stuff, that
also defines GTA.
It’s an incredibly charming game that proves…you don’t need hookers to have a good time.
This game just refuses to age.
Where others of its era often feel like they’re 20 years old, let alone ten…Wind Waker feels
like it came out last week.
It has this evergreen quality, and revisiting it a decade later…it confirms what some
of us saw a long time ago.
That this game was way ahead of its time.
And now, it looks as fresh as it feels.
Even brighter, even bolder…even better.
Nintendo has made a lot of pretty games, but I’m not sure any are prettier than the Wind
Waker.
And finally, on the Wii U…everyone else is seeing it, too.
Pikmin, huh?
Ho-kay.
Und zis game is, how you say…zee GameCube game, yes?
Und zee GameCube.
Zis is zee black sheep of your family, no?
Zee least successful one?
Und this is from where you are gets inspiration from?
Froms a console what has handle?
Und how does that make you feel?
Of course.
Und how does that make you feel?”
Seriously, how does this happen?
How does a series that’s been around since the Reagan administration…keep coming up
with new ideas?
How does it keep one-upping itself?
I mean, how’s it even possible that the same series as Mario 3, Mario 64 and Mario
Galaxy…is actually getting better?
I have no idea.
And frankly, I don’t care.
As long as it means games like Super Mario 3D World keep coming, I’m fine with it.
This is a game that looks at all the silly trends that define modern game design, and
just…jumps right over them, choosing instead to focus all its efforts on one thing.
Being fun.
For that, Super Mario 3D World is a game the entire industry could learn from.
And it’s the best reason yet to own a Wii U.
You know some-zing, Wii U?
Yous vill going to be alright.
And for more nickel, I tells you about your mother.