But let's move on to a story that's been
particularly divisive over the past few weeks--
the rights of transgender people.
Now, with more and more states threatening to introduce
restrictive bathroom bills, it was only a matter of time
before the president stepped in.
The Obama Administration has sent out a directive
to every public school in the country
to allow transgender students to use the bathrooms
that match their gender identity.
NEWSWOMAN:
and possible loss of federal funds
for the states in which they live.
Some states are pushing back, including Texas...
When you pass these ordinances and these rules,
particularly in the adult sector,
um, it says any person, any man who feels like
he's a transgender... he feels like he's a woman can go in.
They don't have to be dressed like a woman.
They can be dressed like an ordinary man.
And what this creates, Megyn, is a great loophole
for all the sexual predators and sex offenders...
Ah, yes, a loophole, a loophole, my friends.
That's what it creates. A loophole.
'Cause that's what perverts have been waiting for.
-Loopholes. -(laughter)
However, this argument falls flat every single time.
Just think about it.
We have labeled these people as perverts,
as sex offenders, and you think they're waiting
for the laws to change? That's what you're thinking?
Like, guys out there going, "Man, I want to flash people
"in the bathroom so badly.
"When are they gonna change the laws?!
When are they gonna change the laws to accommodate me?!"
It falls flat every single time.
And then, if they're not talking about perverts,
then other people say, "Oh, it's about privacy." Privacy.
That's where there's an expectation of privacy.
When you go into a restroom,
or your wife goes into a restroom,
you assume the only other people going to that restroom
or shower facility is gonna be a person of the same gender.
That's been an expectation of privacy
-that all of us have had for years. -But if there's no...
And you know what?
I understand that.
Privacy.
We all expect a certain level of privacy.
And I've... I've chatted to some of my friends,
you know, who are parents of young girls,
and they go, "Hey, I don't know if I'd be comfortable
"with my daughter being in the same bathroom
as an exposed penis."
And I understand that.
It's not like... it's not like
I
because... I'm not comfortable being in the bathroom
with an exposed penis.
(laughter)
And I'm a man.
Like... this is something that nobody's comf...
No one likes being around a penis
that they didn't plan to see.
-(laughter) -This is something we all agreed on.
And-and in life,
there are certain types of privacy we forego.
It's one of the deals we make to be part of society.
That's what we do, you know?
When I go to the gym, I have to accept the fact
that in the change room there may be a man standing there
-blow-drying his balls... -(laughter)
I don't want to see that.
Nobody wants to see that!
You do understand, you do understand
that the transgender population in America
is closer to 0%... 0% of the population
than one percent.
Closer to 0-- it's 0.3% of the population is transgender.
Right? So the chance of you
bumping into a transgender person
in the bathroom is almost 0%.
But the chance of a transgender person
needing the bathroom is 100%.
(laughter)
They're already dealing with their own (bleep),
now you're giving them yours. I don't understand...
It's just... it's... it's so absurd.
You know? We're saying this, in society,
we're like, "Oh, no, these... this is disgusting,
"this is something that we have to deal with,
I'm not comfortable..." We're not comfortable
with many things in society, but we've learned to get over it.
It's what we do. An argument...
You know what else people say? They go, "Oh, it's...
it's not natural," that's what they say.
"It's not natural."
As a practical matter, how is this exactly gonna work?
What happens when a man,
uh, with male parts decides that he is really a woman
and would like to take a shower in the ladies' locker room,
and there he is, with his... with his male parts exposed?
Now, is... is this really something
that people are gonna think is really okay
in the name of... in the name of civil rights?
I don't think so.
I think the absurdity of this is so strong...
What's absurd is that you are talking to us
with a neck that looks like
a scrotum while you're speaking...
...and we-we have to be comfortable with that.
What i-what is that?
What is this going on over there?
That is absurd.
You've got... What is that-- necksticles?
What is that?
That is absurd, but we have to accept that in society.
It's, like, absurd. I love it when people say,
"This is not natural, it's not natural.
This is all... it's all absurd."
You know, if you think about it, this whole conversation--
if you replace transgender with any other group in society,
you realize that we've been here before.
We've had this conversation about minorities before.
You know? People said that about gay people five, ten years ago.
The conversation was, "You're gonna have gay guys
"in the bathroom? What, you're gonna have gay guys
"in the same bathroom as a man? What-what's gonna happen?
"He's gonna be, like... What, is he gonna be looking at my, uh,
"at my-at my junk? Huh, huh? And then what's he gonna do,
"like, grab it if he gets a chance, huh?
"What-what's he gonna do, start jerking on it, huh? Huh?
"What-what, is he gonna... is he gonna tickle my balls?
"Huh? What is he... what is he gonna do? What is he-what is he,
"gonna do that, like, corkscrew thing, huh? What is he...
what is he gonna... what is he gonna do?"
Wow, you've... you've thought about this a lot, my fr...
"I'm just saying. I'm just saying. I want to know
"what's gonna happen. Huh? (stammers) Uh, what-what else--
"am I gonna like it, is that what's gonna happen, huh?
"Are we gonna get married? Is that-is that
"what's gonna happen? And then who's the husband?
"How do I figure this out, huh, huh?
"And then we got to adopt a kid. Why are we adopting
"an Asian kid? I don't understand. Huh?
Huh? How is this gonna..."
It-It's just ludicrous. You're just coming up with
hypotheticals of everything. We thought that
about gay people. Everyone had a side, was going,
"This is absurd, this is absurd." But luckily there were
a few who pushed ahead and now we look at gay people
like it's the most normal thing in the world,
because it is normal. Society evolves all the time.
That's exactly... Like, like, I-I see gay people kissing now
and it's not even a thing. I'll see gay people kissing
and I'll be like, "Hey, stop that, get out of the way.
"I'm trying to watch
Get out of the way. Get out of the way."
You know? It's just, it's... society has done this
over and over again. It is... it's so painful.
I mean, the same thing was said about black people.
"It's absurd. We can't share the bathroom with black people.
"White and black people in the same bathroom-- it's absurd.
"What's gonna happen? What-what, is there gonna be
"a (bleep) measuring contest, huh? What's-what's gonna happen
when black people come into the..." Like, you know what,
when you look at it now, that seems absurd, right?
We... As a society, we move forward and we go,
"Those notions were absurd."
We cannot think of why anyone wouldn't have wanted
to have a multi-racial bathroom. There's no reason
to not have it. Like, what-what were people even thinking
back then? What did they think--
black people (bleep) differently? What...
What did-what did they think, black people were coming in
NBA-style, just, like, dunking their turds?
Like, "Yeah, boom!"
Is that what they thought was happening?
White guys, "Oh, no, I-I got to lay it up.
I don't like that. I don't like that."
It's just like... It does...
We've had this conversation,
we've come to the same conclusion, we can progress.
It is about discomfort, yes.
But that's what progress is about--
it makes you uncomfortable.
And you know what, in this whole situation,
you what I... you know what I really blame?
I blame the penis.
Yeah, I blame the penis.
'Cause that's what this is really about.
No one wants to see a penis.
Because, have you noticed, no one's having the conversation
the other way. No one's going,
"What, so there's gonna be a vagina in the men's room?"
No one's saying that.
Why? 'Cause it's the penis.
Penises are disgusting.
There's these things-- just like, ugh,
just like... you know?
Just, like, a Muppet nose on... attached to the front
of your body, it's just... it's like the leftover pieces
that God didn't know how to use on the man's...
And he was just like, "Yeah, aw, whatever,
you'll figure them out." It's just...
They're disgusting, I get it. Like, men grow their bellies
just so that they don't have to see them anymore.
Penises are disgusting and no-nobody wants to see them.
But we've got to remember that this is about progress.
You move forward even when it frightens you.
And yes, it does feel like transgender acceptance
has moved fast. Everyone acknowledges that.
Over the past one to three years, it's moved really fast.
But just imagine, for a second, being a 55-year-old transwoman
and you've lived your entire life worried about bathrooms
and locker rooms. The only thing transpeople
are saying right now is "What took you guys so long?
'Cause I feel like I've been holding it forever."