From why pigeons peck at the ground when there’s no food, to what if the Earth stopped spinning
for 5 seconds, my name is Darlink and I’m here to answer everyone’s burning questions about life.
Hello dere. I’m Danger Dolan and I’m here to blow your minds with a
sudden and exciting announcement. I am pregant. I am pregnatay.
You are fat. You’re a chonky little guy. I spent months creating this miracle
and you can’t even be happy for me. I spent months watching you shovel chicken
parmigianas down your throat. Nourishment for my child.
A food baby, sure. I haven’t even told you who the father is.
Is it you? And I couldn’t be more proud.
Why is the average life expectancy for men lower than women?
One biological reason is that due to hormones, women will distribute fat across the body.
Whereas men more commonly store fat around the organs, leading to so-called “beer bellies”,
increasing the chance of heart failure. Likewise testosterone tends to cause more wear and tear
in males, leading to earlier death. Then there are societal reasons,
such as alcoholism being more common in men. Men also engage in more activities that lead to death,
like risky jobs and war. Then there’s the phenomenon that women who live longer
have more evolutionary success, whereas it doesn’t matter if men live long or short,
as it makes no difference to their evolution. There’s only one difference between men and women,
and that’s makeup. Have you seen the ingredients in this stuff? Vitamins. Minerals. The blood of
orphans. Anyone would live a few centuries if they’re slapping this devil juice on.
Here. Look at this video from Egyptian times, you can clearly
see Darlink back when she was one of their queens. That’s just crazy. How could that be me? I didn’t
even exist until a couple years ago. What?
I meant to say that VIDEO didn’t exist until recently.
Hmm. On my suspicion scale, that hit a full 100.
Why do pigeons appear to peck the ground even when there’s no obvious signs of food/crumbs?
There’s actually a few reasons. One is they have extreme accuracy with pecks, and they’re
capable of identifying crumbs and mites half a millimeter wide. Birds also know to peck at
rhinos and elephants to claim ticks and parasites. Often though, birds will swallow pebbles and grit
which is held in the part of their stomach known as the gizzard. These pebbles will grind against
food swallowed whole to break them down in place of teeth. When the pebbles become too smooth,
the bird will vomit it out to find sharper stones to swallow.
You may not know that pigeons have advanced super sight and are able to make out infrared signals
coming from different dimensions. Pecking is their way of observing and charting such phenomena to
report back to their bird masters. Hmm. Interesting.
How can axolotl be both critically endangered and so cheap and available in pet stores?
This is because their natural habitat of Mexican canals and waterways have been mostly polluted
or destroyed. They’re also hunted by predator species that have caused their numbers to dry up.
Thankfully, they’re very easy to breed in captivity and don’t cost much time or effort.
And even better they’re relatively simple to keep as pets - so yes, in the wild they barely
have anywhere to live. But in captivity, they’re very plentiful and widespread.
It’s all a black market trade. You trade in your smelly existing
pets and upgrade to the deluxe critically endangered one. Check out my new axolotl.
I think you got ripped off. That’s just a rat with bits glued onto it.
Well yeah I mean, they’re water rats. Here, I’ll prove it.
It’s drowning.
Na. Na. Look, its learning. It’s a rat. It’s drowning.
I’m disappointed in you.
Why do places like Africa have mainly big meat eating predators while places like Australia
have small animals with extreme venom? This is because a good deal of Africa is
made up of savannahs and tropical rainforests. Large animals have a lot of food and shelter,
which is great for both predator and prey, leading to size increases for both over time.
On the other hand, as most of Australia is a desert, large animals have a much
harder time thriving. This means smaller animals like snakes and spiders are only
competing against each other, so therefore the strongest and deadliest will survive,
which is usually measured via their potent venom. It’s all true. Africa is beautiful, cinematic,
with well-behaved animals who eat only to survive. It even has a soundtrack by Toto and Elton John.
But down in Straya? Harsh, hostile island of death. Take a step outside
without ya boots on? Ya dead. Goin’ for a swim? Shark country - you’re
dead. Open your mailbox? Crocodile - you’re dead. Tourist attractions?
It’s just a big rock, mate. You can look at the rock. You can be near the rock.
Can I touch the rock? Yeah, na. Do that? Ya dead.
What if Earth stopped spinning for 5 secs? As harmless as this sounds, the utter devastation
from less than 5 seconds without a spin would be incomprehensible. Everything - everything
not anchored to the Earth including buildings, mountains, trees and especially people would
be catapulted at over 1000 kilometres per hour through the air harder than
if you were in a car slamming into a brick wall. Wind would blast so hard it might as well be razor
blades. Tsunamis would stretch like mountains into the sky before they wash over the surface
of everything. The surface of the planet would be wiped out and humans would immediately go extinct
unless they live in underground bomb shelters. ACXTUALLY, despite what Darlink claims,
if the Earth stopped spinning then only minor disasters would happen. Your wifi signal would be
interrupted and you’d need to reset the modem. Your knee will want to crack but it won’t no
matter how much you bend it. That fizzy drink? Flat for some reason, ech. New Zealand would
sink under water. Ech. Your computer will take longer to turn on. How inconvenient.
That’s all you have to say about the total destruction of New Zealand? ‘How inconvenient’?
Pretty much. Look, that doesn’t affect me, but if I stub my toe then that really hurts.
Yeah, I’ll bet.
Why are batteries inserted in opposite ways? If batteries were placed side-by-side in the
same direction, you would need a wire going all the way down to connect the
negative polarity with the positive one. It’s much easier and simpler to place them
on opposite ends - that way the connection path is shorter without the need for a wire.
This also increases the output voltage from the small piece of metal on the end - given
this is the simplest and least expensive way to attain the increased voltage.
This is a well-known scam. By reversing polarities, you only get half the juice
from every battery. If you go against the grain, and put batteries in PROPERLY, you would get
double the charge. But companies don’t want that - they want their customers to buy more batteries.
Yeah but have you actually TRIED putting batteries in the way you’re suggesting?
Of course not. I don’t want to overload my remotes with 200% voltage.
So then what’s the point of doing it that way? Look. I spread the TRUTH. I never said it
actually works. How convenient.
Why is it considered unhealthy if someone is overweight even if all
their health tests come back at normal levels? This is because human bodies are not designed to
support such an excessive amount of weight for a prolonged period of time. It causes
strain on joints and your body will overexert itself to support all the extra baggage. This
is especially noticeable in your heart which will increase in size, but not performance. The
amount of blood that will need to be pumped through your body increases, leading to an
overactive heart that has a higher failure rate. And fat in the belly will cause intestinal issues,
your lungs will lose efficiency and you won’t be able to exercise. So even though tests come
back normal - that doesn’t mean you aren’t wearing your body thin with each passing day.
Yeah, na. There’s nothing wrong with upgrading yourself to become a big
chungus. There is simply just more of me to love. And with a food baby on the way no less…
Alright. That’s it. You’re losing the weight. Pshyeah, good luck. I’m not
getting on a treadmill- My baby! You killed my baby!
Father… why!? Be at rest, my child. Join
the other digested meats in the sky. I hate this show.