Hi, I'm Kevin Eikenberry, and
I'm here to help you reach your potential as a leader and a human being.
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In this episode, we're talking about how to be more charismatic.
Are you ready?
Let's get started.
Ah, charisma.
It's one of those things that many people say, Man, I wish I had me some of that.
It would be great if I had a little bit more charisma and yet.
Let me stop you right there.
If you're in wishing mode, because charisma is a skill, it's
a generally good and desirable skill, but because it's a skill, it can be learned.
It's not innate. It's not genetic.
It's not like someone got some people get sprinkled with the charisma, dust
and others didn't get it.
And so while there are plenty of skills that can lead people
to see you as more charismatic today, I want to focus on one.
It's a simple one.
It's a powerful one.
It's one that you can do starting today.
Are you ready? Here it is.
Pause before speaking.
Put a little space between what someone else has said
and what you are going to say.
Pause before speaking.
Certainly do that in a one on one conversation.
Let the other person finish, pause,
and then continue.
But also in a group as a leader or as any as a member of the team.
If you will be willing to pause
for you, continue
your words will be more powerful,
you will be more attractive in terms of what you have to say.
You will be seen as more charismatic.
So why does this work?
Why does this help?
Well, the first thing is it shows you're listening,
right?
When I'm having a conversation with you and I truly let you finish.
And then I pause just for a beat
before I start, it's clear to you
or signals to you that I'm listening right next.
It shows you are intentional.
And one of the things that we love about folks and look up to
is that that people are intentional
about what they're doing and what they're doing is on purpose.
And if we take that pause, skip that beat
before we begin speaking, it shows that we're intentional,
that we're thinking about our words and not just talking.
Third, it gives more credence to your points when people feel like
they've been heard, they're more likely to listen to your thoughts.
And because they feel like you are intentional
about what you're about to say, they're more likely to put more credence,
more credibility and more weight on what you're saying.
And lastly, it subtly encourages people to listen to you.
So related to the last point, that's true, right?
But because of the law of reciprocity, when we are listening,
it encourages people to listen to us.
So not only do they feel better about this and see us differently,
it improves our ability to influence because they're listening to what
we have to say as well.
Now, if you're thinking about all this and say, Hey Kevin, that makes sense,
But I'm not really sure that's about charisma,
Let me just give you one thing to consider.
Consider the opposite of what I've just described, which is interrupting.
Would you ever describe someone who incessantly
or regularly interrupts you as being someone who is charismatic?
I think you know the answer.
Let me close with today's tweet.
You can be more charismatic.
It isn't genetics or luck.
If you want to build the skill, remember to pause before you speak.
The more you do this, the more likely people will see you as charismatic.
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