Now let's say the man does disappear, what should women do when he’s not texting or
not calling?
What is her best plan of action?
Yeah.
So, it is context-dependent.
It depends on when it really happens within the interaction.
If it happens in the beginning, [if] the guy disappears, she has to really take an inventory
about whether or not they really have a connection.
If they if they really did have a connection and suddenly he drops off, it is important
to have an innocent until proven guilty mindset, right.
So rather than assuming that this guy has lost interest and he doesn't want anything
to do with her anymore, and suddenly her defenses go up and she responds from that place – she
responds in the place of mainly genuine curiosity about what happened if he's okay.
She hasn’t seen her a bit.
Maybe even some vulnerability.
You know, “Hey I really enjoyed talking with you and I’m wondering what happened?”
And that is okay to do.
Being able to have [or] express your emotions rather than hide behind some type of defense,
is a way that we as people are able to eliminate the game plane that naturally comes up in
the dating world.
Games comes as a result of one or both parties not being vulnerable with where they're at.
So, that's one way to initiate and possibly rekindle the connection if the guy is not
texting.
If he doesn't respond or his response is lackluster at that point, I don't encourage women to
pursue it at that point any further.
But really to move on to the next one because the only thing that’s going to happen when
she begins to pursue is she moves even more into the masculine role he, moves more into
the receptive role and it just ends up being a waste of time more times than not.
Awesome I love that.
Yeah and if it happens later in a relationship if they actually have got a connection and
the guy pulls away, again an innocent until proven guilty mindset.
And it's important to understand why men might pull away in the relationship as well.
And you know John Gray talks about this in his book, you know, “Men are from Mars and
Women are from Venus,” where men pull away really to get perspective sometimes.
And they pull away because the emotions that they might be feeling within the connection
can get so intense that in my words that it almost can short-circuit the guy’s the neurology.
And in order for him to reset, he's got to pull away.
In order for him to get respective and see what actually happens, he find himself, he
finds his center and build off the desire and then come back in.
And who the woman is in the face of the man pulling away, how the woman shows up, how
she decides to react to him pulling away, communicate so much to him about her value,
about her, [about] how she sees herself and her self-esteem.
So, the more that she can be poised and the more that she can allow and understand that
men are naturally going to do this, they call it a “Fractionation” where you're moving
in and then you're moving out, moving in and moving out.
And the more that a woman can see that it's a natural part of the decoding process and
necessary for man’s emotional wiring, she can have a greater sense of acceptance around
it and not take it personally which then communicates to the man that she is a high-value woman:
that believes in herself and believes in her value which makes her that much more attracted
to him and do want to come back in and move the relationship forward, maybe even deeper.
Wow that was a phenomenal and that my favorite answer in all of my interviews.
I loved every second of that.
Ladies that was it… that was it.