Hello.
Alright, you're probably wondering what the heck this video is about.
Everybody raise their hand if they've been screwed over or ripped off by anyone.
Me, I.
And I'm sure a few of you watching probably have had a situation where you felt ripped
off, screwed over, burned, et cetera.
So why am I making this video and is it going to turn positive at some point?
Yes.
There's a really good moral to the story eventually I promise you, but this is probably how I
can summarize what I'm about to tell you in the story I'm about to tell you is that it's
a really solid cautionary tale, so that you can learn from my mistakes.
And also if you have experienced something where you felt screwed over, ripped off or
a complete lack of trust, it is probably the best thing that ever happened to you.
And believe me, it's taken some time for me to get here.
But the reason I wanted to make this also is that we are in a really weird time that
is so magical, but also really dangerous because who the hell knows who we can actually believe
and trust right now, especially in the online space.
And there's a lot of promises made and there's lot of ascetically pleasing things out there
that make you go, "Oh, that person must be legit."
But it just needs to go so much more beyond that because you can't believe everything
you see.
And so I wanted to share this story, not to smack talk anyone, that's not my style, but
in hopes that this will reframe a bad situation that might've happened to you.
Whether that is a breakup, whether that's a bad friendship, whether that's a bad investment,
a bad decision.
Whatever it may be, I'm hoping by the end of this video that it turns into the best
thing that's ever happened to you and we're going to turn that negative into a positive.
So let me know if this is interesting to you.
Give me a like below and comment below and I hope you watch the whole thing, because
I think you're going to get a lot out of this.
And I honestly do feel a little uncomfortable sharing this because I just never want to
come across like I'm badmouthing anyone or it's just not who I am.
And honestly, this happened so long ago that it's weird for me to revisit, but some things
have happened recently in my business where it just was like, a lot of reflecting happened
because we've come a really long way and I have a lot of pinch me moments about where
we're at in the business right now because we are generating multiple millions a year
and our clients are getting insane results, the results where I'm like, "What?
Did I do that?"
And I'm not doing it.
I'm providing the system to do it, but the clients are doing the work following that
system and they're getting the most amazing results and I'm helping people be their own
boss, cheers, build their businesses from the ground up and monetize their experience
and expertise and it's just the coolest thing ever.
And I've gone that on that journey myself and I know what it was like for me at the
very beginning and it's scary as hell when you're starting out.
And so I wanted to kind of share this situation in hopes that it helps you in making the right
decisions and learning from my mistakes when you are starting your business or when you
are making a decision that maybe is a little bit scary for you.
Okay.
Now that I've settled that.
So basically a couple of years ago started my business from scratch.
I was filming my videos in my tiny little apartment and I'm sure he might've heard this
story before, but filming my videos in this tiny little apartment with a stack of books
as my tripod and I was making one YouTube video a week and I was running my tiny little
consultancy that I had been running for a few years prior but it was the first time
I brought my business online and this whole online space, can I get an amen?
But it is overwhelming.
There's so many experts, there's so many people who look like experts and talk like experts,
but maybe aren't experts.
There's so many people who look aesthetically like they're killing it and it is confusing.
You're like, do I trust you?
Are you real?
I don't know.
And so when I got into it, I was in the same boat and I was like, okay, well I know this
is a new world for me because I had built my business mainly offline and locally here
in Vancouver, so this whole online space, I didn't even know what an online course was
at this point in my life.
And so I needed somebody to mentor me, because I do really, really believe in mentorship.
I really believe in hiring the people who have done the things that you want to do.
And I swear to you, that's the biggest reason that I've been able to fast track the way
that I have.
But in saying that you also have to be really cautious with who you invest in.
So at the time I was in a situation where my financial situation was not amazing.
And you can watch this video on simple steps, financial freedom, where I kind of talk about
how I got myself from a place of being in debt to financially thriving and the whole
plan for that.
But at this time I was not in a good financial situation.
So I wasn't financially in a great situation, I was going through a lot of crap in my personal
life and I also just was stressed all the time because I had this little consultancy
that I was running for five years.
One of my clients went bankrupt and then I didn't know how I was going to pay my bills
or pay my rent and I actually was asking my parents for help with rent, which today to
this day is just the worst feeling, but it is what it is.
My parents are wonderful and we're able to help thank goodness.
But it was tough and it was really humbling.
And when you're in a position like that, when you're vulnerable at all and anyone who's
trying to do anything in their life has a level of vulnerability because you're putting
yourself out there, whether that's asking a person on a date or starting a business,
doesn't matter if there's a level of vulnerability to it.
So I was in a vulnerable spot and that's a dangerous place to be making decisions from,
especially financially because you really can only operate from two levels when you're
like that.
You can take your time and operate from a place of what you want to call your highest
self, your highest version of yourself, or you're operating from this place of insecurity,
scarcity and kind of just grabbing at anything that looks like it'll work.
So I was in this side of the camp and I was grabbing at anything that looked like it might
work.
And that is dangerous because a lot of things look like they're going to help you and work
and they don't or they can't.
And so I invested, the total investment was about $30,000 that I didn't have.
And so I had to put it on a line of credit and I made an arrangement, which thank goodness,
to pay $10,000 like a payment plan and it was to with this particular company who was
offering online business mentorship and not going to say the name Godspeed and good luck.
Sure things are much better now.
The situation though basically was that I invested this money, it didn't work.
Not saying that it didn't work because I didn't do the work, it was because there was two
factors they were ill prepared in qualifying me.
I wasn't at a stage where I was ready for the help that they were providing and they
didn't know who their ideal client was so they were just taking anybody, which as a
business owner, that's a huge lesson.
You don't want to work with just anybody because not everybody is prepared to work with you
and actually get results.
And when people don't get results they get really frustrated.
So I wasn't prepared because one, I spent the $10,000 on a lot of credit and then I
was told you have to invest in X, Y, and Z to actually make this work, which was another
couple thousand dollars.
And I was like, "I don't know where you expect me to get that from."
And I'm also a believer now that I've been through this and I'm doing this work myself,
you don't need to spend a lot of money in order to start your business.
I made a whole video on that too, how I started my business for less than 100 dollars.
You can start scrappy, especially with an online business, especially with an online
coaching business or course business.
So it wasn't a fit on either side and it was extremely frustrating and extremely disheartening.
And I'm a pretty logical person and I was like, "You know what, this was a fault on
both sides.
Let's just make an arrangement.
I don't even need a full refund.
Let's just make an arrangement to figure this out."
And it was a no go zone and I didn't get my money back and it was really embarrassing,
really crappy experience and it really rocked my trust.
So then what happened was that I basically felt like every single person I saw was fraud
and every coach was full of crap and it made me question everyone and everything, which
actually has been a really good thing and a huge blessing out of this situation.
And that's why I'm saying the worst things that happened to you are probably the best
things that happen to you, because it made me be much more critical in my thinking and
also step into the highest version of myself from a place of thoughtfulness, abundance,
cautious decision-making, researched based decision making, rather than being like, "That
looks like a quick fix.
I'm just going to grab it."
Because that was my bad.
And I think the biggest thing for me out of this was that I had to take radical accountability
for my own actions.
The best quote that someone said to me during this time was, "Holding revenge towards somebody
or staying mad at somebody or a company is like drinking poison and expecting the other
person to die."
Basically, you're killing yourself slowly by holding onto all of that bad energy and
putting it out into the world and also just holding onto it for yourself.
And it keeps you also in this lower version of yourself where you're constantly just feeling
scarce, afraid and like everybody's going to screw you.
And when you make decisions from that place, you're in a dangerous spot.
So let me know if that makes sense to you in the comments below.
But I then really was cautious and who I invested in and I was really cautious about anyone
that I trusted.
I also, for me, the biggest lesson that came out of this was that I needed to always remember
what that felt like and it's years later now, it's four or five years later now.
I still remember what it felt like when I got repeated emails saying, "No refund.
We can't give your money back.
Best of luck."
It felt awful and it felt like I had been screwed and been ripped off and in reality,
that's how it felt for me, but that's not the situation when you look at it because
it situation was this person was offering a service, this company was offering a service,
I believed they could fulfill it and they didn't do their research onto who I was and
where I was at in my business realizing, "Oh this isn't even a match.
We're not even able to help her for the point she's at in her business.
We should send her to somebody else first."
And that's the value of true abundance, because this person was also coming from a place of
scarcity because they just wanted to grab, grab, grab, grab, grab money, and take any
client they could, as opposed to a place of abundance being like, "You know what?
You're maybe not the right fit for me, but there's this other person who perfect for
someone at your stage."
And I will do that too, because I don't want to work with people who aren't a fit because
it doesn't work out for either side.
And so the big lesson is that yes, this was a thing that happened, but it also was the
greatest thing that happened to me.
And I look back now and I think maybe this is part of growing up, I'm so mature, any
bad situation that's happened in my life or any sort of situation where I've lost trust
in somebody or been ripped off or been screwed over, one, it's just a part of growth.
I wish I could tell you that it's going to be sunshine and puppy noses for the rest of
your journey.
It's not, that's just not real life.
You're going to make bad decisions, you're going to make mistakes, you're going to get
ripped off.
But the biggest thing for me is that I never stopped moving forward.
And I always found a way to be grateful for the lesson out of that situation.
And my big lesson out of that situation is that I will never treat people like that.
Oh, I just spat.
I will never treat people like that.
And I will always do my due diligence with anybody who wants to apply to work with us
in being sure that they're actually a fit.
And that could cost me financially, but it makes me have peace of mind emotionally and
mentally.
And if you're just starting your business, it's a hard thing to do because you are in
that place where you're just like, "Give me the clients.
I'm hungry.
I want business."
But I hope this is a cautionary tale on both sides that you don't want to work with just
anybody.
You want to work with the right people and you also want to do your research and you
want to work with people who actually have done the things that you want to do and haven't
just said they've done things that you wanted to do.
So social proof is so important.
Checking people's receipts, checking people's results and testimonials, checking that they
actually have a good reputation is vital to making better decisions.
And it's a big part of being a grownup business owner.
You have to make good decisions, but you don't have to be perfect all the time.
And if something bad happens, just take it from me, I remember when that $10,000 on my
line of credit nearly killed me.
Literally, I was so stressed out about it because I didn't have the money.
And today we have done $6 million in revenue in my business, from then to now.
And if I had let that one situation dictate how I was going to move forward, I would've
just went and got a job.
I would've stayed safe.
And this is where something called cognitive bias comes in.
There's a whole bunch of different forms of it, but basically what it means is that if
a situation happens to you or you have an experience, that becomes your belief system.
So case in point, you go to the dentist, have a really bad situation and you're like, "I
hate all dentists.
They're all the worst and I'm never going back."
That affects your health, that causes you to maybe have dental problems later on in
life or have issues with your mouth, so you're only hurting yourself by having that belief
system and not being open minded to changing it and also blaming something external as
opposed to looking at yourself and being like, well, why did I go to that dentist?
I didn't do enough research.
I should ask a friend for a referral, so you can be proactive about making the change.
So my cognitive bias at the time, after the situation happened was that all coaches are
bull and I should never invest in anybody again.
But once I did my research, I found the people who were actually good at this, who I could
trust, who had all the social proof.
Then coaching has changed my life.
Having people mentor me who are way above where I wanted to be has changed my life and
it's been the best investments I've ever made.
So don't let that one situation turn into protecting yourself because you are in that
scarce state of mind and you never want to take the leap to invest in anything else again
because your growth is possible.
If somebody else is doing it, why can't you?
It just comes down to taking radical accountability for your decisions and also finding the gratitude
and the lesson in any bad or crappy situation that has happened to you so that you can move
on from it.
Because we all know those people who one bad thing happens or maybe they go through one
bad relationship, they never date again, they close themselves off.
The same thing can happen in your business if you have one bad situation and you never
move on from it because your innate human reaction is to protect yourself and to never
put yourself in that situation again.
But if you take the precautions and you make the decision for me from your highest self,
from a place of doing the research of knowing it's the right person and of abundance, it
will work itself out.
So anyways, this is my long winded story to you and cautionary tale to you of not believing
everything you see, really doing your due diligence and not just grabbing at something
because it looks like a quick fix, because nothing is a quick fix.
Everything takes time, everything takes patience.
Anything worth having and working for is going to be hard.
It's going to be hard, it'll get easy at some point, but it will be hard at the beginning.
So yeah, that's all I really wanted to say and I hope this was helpful in some sort of
way.
And if this hit home for you or resonated with you, let me know in the comments below.
Give this video a like, share it with somebody who maybe needs to hear this and be sure to
subscribe for new videos every week.
And sometimes we do two, sometimes we do three's enough to do more, but lots of good info on
this channel for people who are wanting to be their own boss, you are already your own
boss and you want to just keep growing.
So again, this was pretty uncomfortable for me to share and just feels kind of weird to
share because I've kept this to myself for so long.
I've kind of alluded to it before, but I think it's important to share things like this so
that it can help maybe one person, maybe more.
So let me know in the comments.
But anyways, I love you.
Thank you for being here.
I'm excited for all the new content coming up on the channel, so stay tuned because there's
new videos coming up tomorrow, the next day and all the things.
And if you want more information on how to be your own boss, how to build a business
from the ground up and do it in a way that feels right for you, make sure you check out
the videos around this video as well.
I'll talk to you soon.
Bye.