As far as I can remember, I have known
My mother has very close girlfriends
At the age of 11
I heard two elders chatting
They spoke of my mom
“Yes, her mother likes girls.”
My mom grew up in a poor village
She and my father only met once
Before becoming wife and husband
And after marriage
My mother found her partner a firmed gambler
And a domestic abuser
I have been living with my mom for nearly 40 years
But I always feel she’s on the other side of the earth
I just can’t get close to her
The filming started in 1998
When I was 20 years old
I kept going for over a decade
Until I become a mother and have my own child
The reason why I decide to be through with the film
Is that I don’t want to stay where I have been with my mother
For the remaining time she has got
I’m desperate to know her and let her know me
She officially claims that she had a dozen (girlfriends)
There was one that impresses me the most
She actually lived with us for around 8 years
And I called her mommy at my 20s
Every time when my mom went to teahouse with her
She (mother) would remove the shells of the roasted sunflower seeds for her
And put the complete shelled seeds in front of her
And she (the girlfriend) could eat the little piece one by one
With her leg crossed
While I sat aside with my sister
Cracking the seeds by ourselves
We always messed it up
And the seeds were broken
But my mother never cared about us
My mother’s girlfriends all say she’s a sweet talker
Nothing but a sweet talker
From 1998 to 2014
I have been shooting all by myself
I’m not a professional
And in terms of cameras and other equipment
I don’t know much about them either
There’s a scene when my mother sat on the back balcony, talking
I shot that moment of her
In a strange posture
With one foot against the balcony door
I think the conversation between me and my mother beside the dining table
Must be a turning point of our relationship
Before I become a mother
I have complaints and hates inside
If mom loves me
She wouldn’t let it (the sexual assault) happen
I wish she know that I have grown up
And now I am face it calmly
I also hope that my mother can
Get it off her shoulders
After watching the film
Some audience came to me, holding my hands and saying
“Thank you. Thank you for sharing the story of your family.”
Because they see themselves in the film
See their own difficulties in communicating and getting along with the family
There were 2 young girls
Who cried for 30 minutes
I took her to the 2 premiers
She watched the film with 200-300 audience
At the night when she watched it for the first time
Upon getting back home, she entered the kitchen
And cooked a meal for me
The point is
She spoke really softly while serving the table
She treats her girlfriends like that
But never to her children
But since then
She was that tender to me
For a month
Before the film, maybe my mother has never expected that her life
Her embarrassing and unfortunately life
Could be presented in such an artistic way