LOTS TO TALK ABOUT.
LET'S GET RIGHT INTO IT.
THERE'S SOME MORE DRAMA IN THE NATION'S CAPITAL.
AS YOU KNOW, HOUSE DEMOCRATS HAVE DEMANDED TO SEE PRESIDENT
TRUMP'S MOST RECENT TAX RETURNS.
WELL, SECRETARY OF THE TREASURY STEVEN MNUCHIN HAS NOW RESPONDED
BY SAYING THAT HE WILL NOT COMPLY WITH THE ORDER.
YOU HAVE TO ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY ADORABLE THAT THE DEMOCRATS KEEP
TRYING.
( LAUGHTER ) I MEAN, THIS HAS BEEN GOING
ON -- WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT "GAME OF
THRONES" WOULD BE WRAPPING UP BEFORE THE TRUMP TAX RETURN
STORY DID?
( LAUGHTER ) TREASURY SECRETARY STEVEN
MNUCHIN SAID HE WILL NOT RELEASE TRUMP'S TAXES.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO STEVEN MNUCHIN IS, HERE HE IS HERE.
HERE'S THE THING ABOUT MNUCHIN, EVERY PICTURE OF HIM LOOKS LIKE
IT WAS TAKEN MID-WEDGIE.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT THEN JUST A COUPLE OF HOURS
AGO, THIS IS BREAKING NEWS, "THE NEW YORK TIMES" ANNOUNCED THAT
THEY GOT THEIR HANDS ON TRUMP'S TAX INFORMATION FROM 1985 TO
1994.
NOW, THIS IS NOT THE TAX INFORMATION THAT CONGRESS HAS
ASKED FOR, BUT IT'S STILL PRETTY INTERESTING.
APPARENTLY, DURING THOSE TEN YEARS, TRUMP LOST OVER A BILLION
DOLLARS.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) YEAH, I KNOW.
I WOULDN'T WANT TO RELEASE MY TAX RETURNS EITHER.
WOULD YOU?
I MEAN, YOU GET IT NOW.
( LAUGHTER ) IN FACT, YEAR AFTER YEAR, TRUMP
APPEARS TO HAVE LOST MORE MONEY THAN NEARLY ANY OTHER TAX PAYER
IN AMERICA.
I GUESS WE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT TRUMP REALLY IS
THE BEST AT.
( LAUGHTER ) HOW DID HE LOSE ALL THAT MONEY?
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EASY IT WAS TO MAKE MONEY IN THE 1980S?
( LAUGHTER ) IF YOU JUST STOOD ON WALL STREET
WITH ONE OF THOSE GIANT CELL PHONES, EVENTUALLY SOMEONE WOULD
HAND YOU A BILLION DOLLARS.
( LAUGHTER ) MOVING ON, LAST NIGHT IN NEW
YORK CITY, THE ANNUAL MET GALA TOOK PLACE.
IT'S ONE OF FASHION'S BIGGEST NIGHTS.
OR AS IT'S ALSO KNOWN, THE SUPER BOWL FOR THEATER KIDS.
( LAUGHTER ) I WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO ATTEND.
IT WAS AN HONOR TO BE THERE.
IT WAS A FANTASTIC EVENING.
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU FOLLOWED IT, BUT THERE WERE SOME AMAZING
ENTRANCES.
THE THEME OF THE NIGHT WAS CAMP.
HERE'S HOW BROADWAY STAR BILLY PORTER ARRIVED AT THE GALA.
LOOK AT THAT.
WHICH TYPE OF UBER IS THIS?
( LAUGHTER ) AND HOW DO I REQUEST ONE?
UBER PHARAOH, IS THAT IT?
( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S HOW STYLISH BILLY PORTER
IS, HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT WAS THE MET GALA.
HE WAS ON HIS WAY TO THE DENTIST.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS WHAT KATY PERRY WORE FOR
AT LEAST PART OF THE NIGHT.
LOOK AT THIS, A HUMAN CHANDELIER.
THAT LOOK WASN'T EASY TO PULL OFF.
SHE HAD TO WORK WITH A DESIGNER A STYLIST AND THE FIRE MARSHAL.
( LAUGHTER ) AND THIS WAS A REALLY UNIQUE
FASHION STATEMENT.
JARED LETO ARRIVED CARRYING A REPLICA OF HIS OWN HEAD.
HERE HE IS HERE.
( LAUGHTER ) NOT ONLY IS IT FASHION-FORWARD
IT ALSO MAKES THE PERFECT LITTLE PLACE-HOLDER AT YOUR TABLE WHEN
YOU LEAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
( LAUGHTER ) HE CARRIED IT AROUND WITH HIM
ALL NIGHT LONG.
I KNOW BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY SPENT THREE HOURS TALKING TO THE
FAKE HEAD.
( LAUGHTER ) "JARED, I LOVED YOU IN 'BLADE
RUNNER.'" ( LAUGHTER )
WITH ALL THOSE UNUSUAL COSTUMES, IT MAKES FOR SOME STRANGE
INTERACTIONS BEHIND THE SCENES.
HERE'S KATY PERRY CHANGING INTO A NEW OUTFIT, A GIANT
CHEESEBURGER.
CHEFS A CHANDELIER -- SHE WAS A SHANDLER CHANGING INTO A GIANT
CHEESEBURGER.
THE ONLY WAY THIS COULD BE STRANGER IS IF ANOTHER MAJOR
CELEBRITY WALKED IN ON YOU.
TAKE A LOOK.
( LAUGHTER ) >> HI, J. LO.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
>> James: J. LO WALKED IN AND WALKED RIGHT PAST HER.
IN J-LO'S DEFENSE, SHE WASN'T AVOIDING KATY PERRY, SHE WAS
JUST AVOIDING CARBS.
IT'S JUST NICE TO KNOW I'M NOT THE ONLY PERSON AT THESE EVENTS
WHO ENDS UP HIDING IN THE BATHROOM WITH A GIANT
CHEESEBURGER.
( LAUGHTER ) AND FINALLY, A UNIVERSITY IN
SOUTH AFRICA HAS CREATED AN ALTERNATIVE, MORE ECO-FRIENDLY
FORM OF ICE CREAM THAT IS MADE OUT OF, BRACE YOURSELVES,
MAGGOTS.
( AUDIENCE REACTS ) YEAH.
NOW THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING, BUT ONLY BECAUSE IT'S DISGUSTING.
( LAUGHTER ) THIS FEELS LIKE A REAL SLAP IN
THE FACE TO PEOPLE WHO ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT.
"OH, YOU CAN'T HAVE DAIRY?
GUESS WHAT?
HERE'S A TRIPLE SCOOP OF MAGGOTS!"
( LAUGHTER ) ICE CREAM MADE OUT OF BUGS.
IF YOU WANT SOME, YOU CAN ORDER IT ON GRUBS HUB.
( RIM SHOT ) ( LAUGHTER )