Well cheers
so Luis here has suggested that I share some stories of my experiences with INTJs that could
be interesting so I thought I would share three experiences with three different INTJs from
three different countries actually three different continents for that matter and do so not as coach
Dan not as ENFP expert but just a fellow human being who had some interesting experiences so
the first is I'm going to go chronological order and her name was Ava and I met Ava when
I was in lineup to get pizza far too late at night it's a time where no one should
be really eating pizza back when I lived in Vancouver and we started chatting because
I was a flirtatious ENFP at that point and at this point really and and to my surprise Ava who was
uh beyond beautiful she'd actually won uh pageants and things like this um was very receptive to my
flirtiness so we traded numbers and and everything and stayed in touch and we hung out I don't know a
week later something like that and it turned out she was into all this sort of personal
development stuff she was working on her goals all this all these things I was into too so I was
not in love and love but kind of in love at this point I was uh very taken and
I never made any sort of move I never made that known to Ava I never I mean I guess it
was clear from an analytical point of view I had some interest I would chat with her or
text you know we hung out a few times like we'd go up for coffee or something but it was when
I realized like looking back on it my lesson for this for all you young ENFPs if you meet an INTJ
they're not going to give you a lot of body language signals they are not going to be
excessively flirty my third story will relate to this as well I think they're not going to
be communicating in ways that make it easy for you and so you are going to be tested on
your own confidence and your own belief and ultimately I failed that test
uh I don't know maybe I will I will send her a WhatsApp and ask I think we're still on good terms
I'll ask Ava like hey did I have a shot uh but I'm almost positive I had a very good shot looking
back at things but I just never took that shot because I don't know I was expecting someone to
like hand me things on a silver platter and and that and that is generally not the way the
world works anyhow but it especially does not work that way with an INTJ um but I think that
was the first experience I had with an INTJ that I know of in terms of a dating dynamic
and I could see where it would have been a really good fit if I had the confidence to
uh express myself and everything else at that age the second INTJ as far as I know I did not date
uh he was an individual uh we'll call him John that I hired for my company for a little bit
and I had this thing in my head that INTJs were who you need to hire you know it's this it you
read about it everywhere online if you're an ENFP you need an INTJ right they're the perfect match
and there's probably some truth to that like I can see looking at functions and everything else how
it can work really well um but sometimes I think we can get blinded to all these type stereotypes
right we can read that oh this type is going to be perfect for us so we will think uh oh it doesn't
matter about their experience or any other fit it's just about the type and in this case
it was um an interesting relationship the first maybe month and a half working together
there was a lot of just conversation a lot of talk both of us got along quite well talking about
theories about marketing about different things when it came to actually getting things done um
did not go so well the only thing that actually got done um was a
mistake that cost me a significant amount of money and was a very obvious error when I caught it
and so that burst the bubble of the great INTJ who pays attention to details the messy ENFP the kind
of mistake that he made I have never made anything close to it nor has any other member of my team
and the one type that is supposed to be kind of the counterbalance with not missing as
much of the details and things not that INTJs are necessarily about detail that that would be a mis
uh misleading description I think but at least people think of it that way when they think INTJ
and ENFP so a reminder from my experience is where INTJs and ENFPs work really well together
is some of the things we share the functions we share we often have similar belief systems
and and they tend to love systems and building things and structures
they're not necessarily about the little details in fact I would say they aren't about the little
details either so don't think hey I'm to partner with an INTJ and they'll handle all the details
and I'll handle the big picture that's not how they work they also handle the big picture
but they handle it from more of a systems and structured point of view so please for my sake
for your sake don't make that same mistake I did I thought I had three stories of INTJs
but I remembered a fourth that I may or may not tell I'm gonna think
about how angry he will be if I if I share the story he's a very private individual
who sometimes scares me so the third story uh her name is Anastasia and she'll probably watch this
video we are still very good friends and we met years ago in Prague she's originally from Russia
I am originally from Canada we met in Prague and the combination of an INTJ and a Russian
pretty fascinating when you want to talk about no emotions and challenging you know ENFPs we
can be needy let's say right emotionally like we're looking for cues from people
it's one of the reasons I don't always love living in the Czech Republic Prague where
where my uh where I used to live because you don't get that same feedback from people that you do in
a lot of friendlier friendlier cultures and so as an ENFP you're kind of looking for cues like I
mentioned with Ava in the in the first example and was not getting that so so we went on on a date
and the conversation seemed to go very well uh we got along quite well in that way but there was no
input back I had no way of knowing like is this date going terribly or going well or amazing I
could for all I know I could be her soul mate or this could be the worst night of her life
but I learned something that night I'm gonna share this with you my young ENFP brothers
sometimes you just gotta look at the obvious part of the situation and just make some fake
confidence for yourself so in this case I would think to myself well she hasn't went home yet and
we've been to like three or four places we've had different drinks we've had a dinner
we could have ended this a long time ago so even though there's a Russian INTJ face here
I assume there's some interest in me or we would still be here and so with that in mind I you know
we just continued our conversations and everything else and eventually uh we did end up being uh
being more than friends for a period of time this is a pg 13 channel here
and I asked her actually at one point I said you know I asked her about this first date
like what happened because eventually you know uh things change but I had no clue how I was doing
and I just kind of kept talking and kept telling stories and doing whatever
and she said yeah I wasn't really like that into you but you weren't that bad so I just
kind of stayed there and then eventually like you said one thing and I was like all right
I can be into him I don't know what that one thing was um but that was something I learned as well
we we did not turn out to be long-term compatible romantically but we are still very good friends
and definitely a good example of how ENFPs and INTJs can be very good friends as well I think
have some great conversations on psychology and life and all sorts of other things
this fourth story I'm not gonna share in this video I do actually have I believe an older
video where I tell part of the fourth story and this is an INTJ that we were starting a business
partnership to invest in a third country so we flew to a new country together didn't
speak the language you know in up door necks with challenges and it was a really uh great learning
experience in terms of everything from business to partnerships to INTJs and ENFPs and I will
link to that video here and that's it uh for for story time Luis do you have any questions about
about my stories did I did I answer your question about my experiences with INTJs
yeah what's your favorite thing about the ENTJs. ENTJs ? INTJs but in Spanish E is I
right yeah so in Luis' defense um yeah he's from Madrid so e and I is like a proper mix-up um
favorite thing for me it's they challenge my way of thinking because yeah I think that would be the
biggest thing um the friend I was doing a business partnership with I mentioned um there was some
difficult times but it led to a lot of reflections about how I think assumptions I make
very different philosophies about how we both do things and think about things think about
what should be done or shouldn't be done makes me I think a better person in terms of thinking
and challenging what um what seems normal or seems like a normal way of thinking so I would say that
is it good question good question thank you guys and I will catch you in another video soon cheers
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