Where are we going now?
[MR.KIM:TOUR GUIDE] We're going to military demarcation line.
THE VICE GUIDE TO NORTH KOREA THE D.M.Z.]
Kim Jong il instructed
[D.M.Z:1960'S] that our soldiers must remain alert and prepared for combat
as long as the U.S. Imperialists exist on this planet.
[D.M.Z. NOW]
Your political indoctrination continues
when the North Koreans take you to
their side of the D.M.Z.
And going to the D.M.Z. from the North
[SHANE SMITH:VBS.TV] is a completely different animal than
[SHANE SMITH:VBS.TV] going to the D.M.Z. from the South.
From the South you have to go through
checkpoint, checkpoint, checkpoint.
On the North Korean side,
you go from Pyongyang.
It's about a two and a half hour drive.
But when you go there,
actually, it's a lot more laid back.
Although, you do notice on the drive in,
there's a hell of a lot more troops
on the North Korean side.
And everywhere there's these
massive monuments. And you're like,
"What are those monuments?"
And they say,
"Oh, they're filled with dynamite.
And if there's ever an invasion,
they blow up and they fall down
and they're tank barriers."
[JOINT SECURITY AREA D.M.Z.]
That's the American building there,
with all the cameras on us.
Unlike the South Korean side,
you can shoot what you want.
You can point at people.
You can give them the finger.
You can do whatever you want.
You can drink beer.
[CHINESE TOURIST GROUP D.M.Z.]
Basically, it's a big "fuck you"
to the South.
It's a big "fuck you" to the Americans.
[NORTH KOREAN PEACE MUSEUM PANMUNJEOM D.M.Z.]
We're at Panmunjeom.
The demilitarized zone,
where the Armistice was signed
to the DPRK and the UN.
The U.S. had a great loss,
so they proposed to us to have
the armistice talks in June 1951.
All they want to do is tell you about
how bad the Americans are.
This is where we defeated
the American imperialist aggressors.
This is where North Korea shut down
the biggest military power in the world.
That's what everything's designed to do.
We're on night-vision because
there's no electricity in Panmunjeom.
We got in trouble for shooting.
They said we might get charged
for a criminal offense.
So I'm trying to do this
as quietly as possible.
So we have to go now because the guards are mad.
All you hear in the D.M.Z.
is talk of reunification.
Now we are trying to re-unify the country as soon as possible.
Is this a political thing?
Are you trying to re-unify?
They won't mention.
Just re-unify, re-unify.
You think one day they will be unified?
[DMZ TOUR GUIDE] Oh, of course, yes. Why not?
The masters of the Korean Revolution are the masters of the Korean People.
And we have The Leader.
We have the Army.
We have the Party.
At that point you go,
"These guys are serious, serious dudes."
And then on the way back,
you stop off and have a meal.
And they're like, "Oh. You're hungry?
Let's just stop at any old restaurant."
And they're pretending like,
"This is like any restaurant.
We just showed up.
Hey. McDonalds on the side of the road."
But let's say there's seven of you.
You get to the restaurant,
there's seven places laid out.
The whole of the restaurant's empty.
It's been choreographed.
They've been waiting for you for two days.
All set up
with the whole restaurant waiting to go.
We're in Kaesong
in a nice restaurant.
We just had a lovely meal.
You have lunch, which is like fifty plates
of little shit.
Again, you can't eat any of it.
But it's like,
"Look how much food we have.
We're so great."
Kinda quiet.
So, your first two days there, you're like,
Crazy food. Politics.
So, you start to get a bit freaked out at this point.
Thank you.
Bye Bye.
And then on the way back, thinking,
this is the fourth largest army in the world,
all along this border.
And they've threatened America with nukes
and Japan with nukes.
I'm like, "How can they have nukes?"
They don't have electricity.
It's like turn-of-the-century industrial Britain.
How do they have nukes?
The Korean people have leader Kim Jong il in high esteem,
which strengthens and develops the Workers Party of Korea
as the party of president Kim il Sung forever.
This is the fortune and glory of Korea!
On the 60th birthday of the Workers Party of Korea,
working people of all walks of life throughout the country
unfold the sea of dancing,
overwhelmed with emotions and joy.
[THE VICE GUIDE TO NORTH KOREA PANGAPSUMNIDA]
So, after driving back from the D.M.Z.
and our choreographed lunch, you realize
[SHANE SMITH:VBS.TV] everything is going to be choreographed.
[SHANE SMITH:VBS.TV] Like, "Hey, what do you want to do tonight?
[SHANE SMITH:VBS.TV] You wanna go out for a few beers?"
And you're like,
"Hey, this isn't so bad."
"Sure, let's go out for a few beers."
And you go out to the
state-sanctioned karaoke place,
which is only really for foreigners
and really high-ranking party officials.
[KARAOKE HOSTESS]
[MR. LEE:TOUR GUIDE]
Now, the guards have been waiting.
They've studied their whole lives,
you know, English.
They've studied Political Dialectics so
that they're the best and the brightest.
This is like the top position.
But they have to wait all year
for about ten days
for any tourists to come.
So, there's kind of this weird...
like they're holding back
their excitement.
Because they get to eat, they get to drink,
and smoke cigarettes
and all these great things.
And you can see them vibrating,
they're so excited.
"Yeah, have some cigarettes."
They're like, "Oh God."
And drinking,
but they're trying not to show it.
Where are we going tomorrow?
To the museum.
The International Friendship Exhibition Hall.
We're gonna buy some ties.
Ah, the cigarette is bad for me.
Bad for you?
Bad for everybody.
That's why I...
This is the first song that I told you...
That I...
But that's why when you sing it,
you always shake hands.
Tomorrow we have a big day.
Goodnight.
Why goodnight?
This evening, this morning we are going to meet again.
OK.
This morning.
I'll see you this morning.
So, we went out on a night on the town
in Pyonyang
with our guards, which is good because
the guards weren't enjoying us
as human beings.
Today they threatened Jamie,
who's filming this,
with gross insensitive crimes
to the Republic or something.
Criminal offenses,
which would have severe repercussions.
All we had to do
was buy six bottles of blueberry wine
and everybody was fine,
except for Mr. Lee.
He wanted to fight with us tonight
after we disrespected Pangapsumnida,
a song that says, "Pleased to meet you."
So, we're drinking Shochu.
And we're going to bed now.
Mr. Lee got mad at me.
He goes,
"It was the first song I taught you."
OK.
I don't remember
the first song you taught me, Mr. Lee.
OK, honey bun. Goodnight.
Officers and men of the Korean People's Army and people
are visiting the statue of President Kim Il Sung,
with a loyal pledge to build, surely,
a strong, prosperous and powerful socialist nation in Korea
true to his behest.
[THE VICE GUIDE TO NORTH KOREA MEMORIALS AND GIFTS]
So, once they get through
with the indoctrination,
like the Pueblo and the D.M.Z
and how bad the Americans are,
[SHANE SMITH:VBS.TV] then begins how great we are
and that starts with Kim Il Sung,
the Eternal President.
And everybody has to go
and pay their respects
to the great statue of Kim Il Sung,
who, although he's been dead since 1994,
is still the President of North Korea.
[MANSUDAE GRAND MONUMENT PYONGYANG]
I'm gonna lay a wreath
at the statue of Kim Il Sung.
We have to do this as a token of respect.
Then, they took us South of Pyongyang
to the International Friendship Exhibition,
which is this two thousand room
[INTERNATIONAL FRIENDSHIP EXHIBITION MOUNT MYOHYANG] sort of fortress
cut into a mountain,
deep into a mountain,
like twenty stories down.
And what it is,
it's all these presents
that were given or sent to Kim Il Sung
by Heads of State or Foreign Dignitaries
or Notaries.
They're so paranoid about
anyone finding out about these treasures
that they won't let you know
where this is.
They won't tell you anything,
and, of course, you can't shoot there.
In fact, they got really mad
even when we were shooting outside.
He took my camera and he said,
"How much memory does your camera have?"
And I'm like, "Oh I don't know.
48 MB or something."
And he opened it up and took it out
and I had a 5 gig card because
I was shooting actual movies with it,
on the sly.
And he goes, "You're a liar.
You lied to me.
You know very well that's not true.
This is 5 gigs."
Even if I had taken pictures down there,
which I didn't,
they just take out your memory card
and say, "Thank you very much."
So, we're hiding from our guards right now.
They don't want us to film anything.
We have to keep quiet.
We're allowed to be quiet up here.
They're relaxing and having tea right now,
so we get a few seconds.
We're at the International Friendship Museum,
or otherwise known as,
The International Insanity Museum,
where all the presidents from
all around the world came.
There's alligators holding trays and
all kinds of dead animals and ivory.
Huge ivory.
And all this gold stuff.
They have all this crazy business.
And there's so many attractions there,
so many treasures,
that if you were to stop and look at each one,
it would take a year and a half
to get through.
Everybody goes on this pilgrimage
at one time in their lives
and they wear their best clothes.
Women get dressed up in native costume.
And men wear their uniforms.
What a benevolent God because
he's sharing all these amazing treasures.
He would share them with his children.
So, they think
that every leader in the world
thinks that Kim Il Sung is the best.
Not that we're mad at them
or North Korea's on its own.
They think Kim Il Sung is the best.
They don't understand
that the world is mad at North Korea.
Gifts came to him from political parties and delegations of various countries,
international organizations, cultural and friendship organizations
figures of various stature,
and those who have connections with Anti-Japanese Revolutionary Struggle.
All the gifts are permeated with boundless reverence and praises for Kim Jong il,
who safeguarded Socialist Korea
and made imperishable contributions to peace and security of mankind,
and of course making the world independent.
The metro in Pyongyang was built in a magnificent way
and theaters were built as representative of the times.
Kim Jong's guidance
reached construction of Pyongyang Metro, an underground palatial structure.
[THE VICE GUIDE TO NORTH KOREA PYONGYANG METRO]
Going to the subway for us
was a really big deal, because
we never got to interact
with North Koreans.
We were like, "Wow.
[SHANE SMITH:VBS.TV] We get to see real, live North Koreans."
We're going down into the Metro.
We're going down deep.
This is amazing
because it's a working subway,
bomb shelter and beautiful thing.
They either try to ignore you
or they're incredibly fascinated by you.
And a lot of them look at you
and they do not like you,
because they've been told you're the devil
since they were two years old.
Check out the lights up there.
Subways are a big thing
in Communist countries.
Moscow is famous for its lavish stops
and its public transportation system,
as is Pyongyang.
"Look at how great
our public transport system is."
It reminds me of taking the L train
to work.
So, you get to go
from one stop to another stop,
both of which are incredibly lavish
and over the top.
Fireworks.
The rest aren't as lavish.
Apparently the rest are just tiny little
five feet tall things that you come out of
that are really functional.
But they have two monumental ones
that you're allowed to see.
You're not allowed to see the other ones.
And as you come out, you realize,
this is 1950's Russia.
This is Soviet Russia.
This is Maoist China.
I've come back in a time warp.
Kim il Sung and Kim Jong il worked shoulder to shoulder,
so as to build on this land a country built to live in.
Kim il Sung once said
that Kim Jong's ideas, leadership and traits
originated from his love for the people.