- I'm Elle Mills and this is how
you don't remember your 21st birthday.
So I'm in L.A. and I just had my 21st birthday,
and I wake up in a total haze.
The Airbnb is like totally trashed, I'm covered in bruises,
there's (bleep) stained underwear in the living room,
my belt for some reason is destroyed
and I feel like I spent the past 24 hours crying.
What the (bleep) happened?
First, let's rewind, so I'm from Canada.
The drinking age there is
like 18, 19, depending on the province.
So I'm just used to drinking but whenever I visit
the States, and I do visit very often,
I'm never allowed to drink.
So I wanted to go all out for my 21st birthday.
I planned a humongous party,
where I flew out my entire family from Ottawa,
30 to 40 of my hometown friends, five friends from London,
five friends from Hong Kong, and even a few from Florida.
This is truly an international event, people.
I rented out a huge arcade with virtual reality,
an indoor amusement park and of course, an open bar.
But because I have this huge party planned
I keep telling myself I won't pregame too hard.
Some beers and shots of vodka later,
I realize I'm getting a little to turnt too early.
But my friend Karen keeps giving me more and more shots,
and it's my 21st birthday, so hey, I can't say no.
So I do remember getting to the party.
I was definitely drunk at that point.
I remember walking in and being like, whoa, this is a lot.
My face was everywhere, on all the screens.
There was a bunch of red balloons,
it was red themed because my favorite color is red.
My face was on the staircase
'cause I paid for that like an idiot.
But I remember immediately I just walked in like,
oh this is sick, got to go to the wash room.
And I ran to the wash room to take a piss,
and that's my last memory of the night.
The next thing I remember is
waking up in my bedroom the next day.
So here I am with (bleep) underwear on my floor,
bruises all over my body,
a destroyed belt and a trashed Airbnb.
We got to figure out what the hell happened.
So I run into the living room
and I see my friend Camilla,
and I'm like, Camilla, why am I covered in bruises?
She's like, "Dude, don't you remember?
"Last night when people came into the party
"you greeted everyone with a huge kiss
"and insisted on carrying them around the arcade."
Hence the bruises, so check that off my list.
I looked at my phone and see a text
from one of my friends, Shannon,
and all it says is dot dot dot, are you good?
I know she's going to have some answers.
So I immediately call her and she tells me
that I kept on daring people to dare me
to pull down my pants, which absolutely no one wanted.
From pulling my pants down so much
my belt just broke and was ruined.
So now I've got the bruises and the belt covered.
Now we just got to figure out
why it feels like I've been crying.
I walk into the kitchen to nurse my hangover
and my best friend Tavian
is already greeting me with a coffee.
He hands me coffee and I'm like, dude, I feel like (bleep).
He goes, "Don't you remember crying last night?"
I'm like no it was my birthday why the (bleep) was I crying?
Apparently I was so upset that the birthday party
that I don't remember ended that I burst into tears,
probably because I had spent so much money on it
and won't remember any of it.
I was so upset that my birthday was
coming to an end that I insisted that everyone
at the party come back to my Airbnb.
So that makes sense, that's why I was crying,
and that's why my Airbnb was trashed.
Great, now we just have to solve the (bleep) underwear.
Okay, so they definitely belong to a dude.
And the only person that wasn't a girl
staying at the Airbnb was my brother Jay.
So I march up to his bedroom with dirty underwear in hand,
and ask him what the (bleep) did you do?
He looks at me just as puzzled.
Apparently got even more drunk
than I did and remembers nothing.
Just then, all of my friends in the house
join us in Jay's bedroom and tell the tale
of how after the arcade everyone
came back to the Airbnb to find Jay drunk and passed out
on the couch in nothing but his underwear.
Everyone was taking pictures of him, I got sent all of them.
So they went to flip my brother over
and revealed that his underwear was covered in (bleep).
And then four of my buddies each carried a limb of his body
and carried him all the way upstairs.
Okay, so that all checks out, the bruises,
the belt, the crying, the huge mess
and of course, the dirty underwear.
Moral of the story, don't pregame too hard,
(bleep) in a toilet, and honestly,
just make the legal drinking age 18
because I can't handle this much trauma in my 20s.
I've definitely heard over the past few months
a lot of people reach out to me like,
yeah we kissed that night.
I'll be like, oh that's the 15th person
that's told me that, wow!