Hi, I’m from the Australien Government, here to announce our latest plan
to take a once in a lifetime opportunity and flush it down the dunny
You see, the car industry is currently undergoing an epoch-defining revolution
from the combustion engine to electric vehicles: EVs
This presents a unique chance to rebuild our manufacturing industry
upskill our workforce, improve our air quality
whilst tackling the climate crisis and advancing human civilisation
Of course, on realising this, we said
nahhh
Let’s instead orchestrate a fear campaign about EVs so we can score points off LABOR!
Remember how we told you their EV policy would “end the weekend” coz EVs can’t tow your boat?
Well, here’s an EV towing a boat
And here’s one beating a race car
whilst towing another car
Here’s one towing a train
And here’s another one towing a fucking jetliner
But hey, our bullshit helped us win the last election
and that’s why we’re now ready to unveil our own EV policy
Introducing: the Future Fuels Strategy or FFS - for short
And no that’s not satire, it’s what we really called it
Checkmate, Honest Government Ad shitheads!
Does our EV “policy” include incentives to help you afford an EV?
No. That would make us like Governments that actually encourage EVs
Like Norway, which exempts them from paying taxes, road tolls and parking fees
That’s why EVs now make up 75% of new car sales there
And other countries with EV incentives are catching up
In Australia? We haven’t even reached 1%
A bit like our vaccine rollout!
FFS
Does it recommend electrifying our Government fleet, like the US Government just committed to
and which would kickstart a second-hand market of more affordable EVs?
Yes! Are we gonna to do it?
Nah. FFS
Does it set a target to phase out sales of new petrol and diesel cars
like other countries have by 2030 ?
2035?
2040?
Nup!
That’s why car companies aren’t sending us their best and most affordable EV models
Or opening factories here to build EVs
like the 30 new models GM has just announced
Which is why when it comes to “Powering Choice”, creating jobs and economic growth
our EV policy will ensure approximately…
[Calculator mashing]
Fuck all!
There are many more reasons why we should be supporting EVs
they’d strengthen our national security by making us less dependent on foreign oil
They’d save us shittons in health costs to treat illnesses linked to car exhaust fumes
such as dementia and mental illness in kids
They’re even linked to lower IQ
Which might explain why you keep re-electing us
And of course, they’re key to tackling the climate crisis
since transport is the third biggest source of emissions in Australia: most of it from cars
But why do all that, when instead we can prolong our dependence on oil
make us the dumping ground for the world’s dirtiest least efficient cars
make your kids sicker and dumber
and make us the world’s biggest fucking losers by failing to embrace a new technology
FFS
The best part of our total lack of leadership on EVs
is that it allows other dickheads to come up with dumbarse policies
Hello I’m from the Victorien Government where we’re about to introduce a tax on EVs
Yep, while the rest of the world is scrambling to help people afford their first EV
we’re slapping another 5 grand onto their lifetime cost
We’re saying we need this tax to pay for roads since EV drivers won’t pay tax on petrol
To which you might say, “hey, that’s like taxing ex-smokers for no longer paying tax on tobacco!"
You might also say, “the fuel excise hasn’t directly funded roads since 1959
and besides, it’s a Federal tax”
To which we say: correct! this is just a grubby cash grab
That’s what’s most important
And that’s what must be done
[Music] Beers
Beers
Get on the beers
Beers
Hurry, we’ll be voting on the EV tax soon, so unless you contact your local MP to stop this bullshit
we’ll become the first government in the world to make it harder to afford an EV
Victorien Government & Australien Government
We stopped these
Authorised by the Department for Taxing Clean Air