- So we were scouring the internet
and found this interesting game called Zooicide,
and we're gonna try playing today.
- It's an unfortunate name but it looks very interesting.
I'm definitely team animals, I don't want
to hurt any animals.
I feel like if you got yourself into the zoo
after hours, and are trapped with animals,
then you deserve what you're gonna get.
- Um, and I understand the separation between
fantasy and reality, so I don't mind killing
any of these fake animals.
Let's boot up.
Right off the bat the music's very catchy, I love this.
I think that we should try being the human.
You play pacifist human. - Okay
- You don't have to kill any animals.
- I mean, I might have to defend myself, but--
- Oh, so like, that you're fine with.
- Although, ultimately I wanna win, but like,
no animals get hurt, that'd be nice.
- Okay, you're online, sick.
Two players online, I wonder who they are.
We're gonna go with the maximum amount
of animal bots, which seems to be six.
- I guess we need to get the key, turn on the power,
get out of the zoo. - Get out of there.
Okay, for future reference, I spawned in the ticket thingy.
- Oh, yep, I see you.
- Hello. - Hi!
- Would you like one ticket?
- These do not look like human hands.
These are like Gollum hands.
- I have like whole fingers on one hand,
and then half fingers on the other hands.
- Very sharp fingers.
- Anyway, this is where the key goes, in here.
- Oh, okay, guess who's got the key.
- You found the key already?
- Yeah, I'm so good at this game.
- Oh my god, there's a giraffe out there!
A very aggressive giraffe.
- Uh.
- It's coming inside, oh my god!
- Alright, I see a rhino.
- There's a rhino too!
(groans)
- Can I get in from this side?
- Why are you outside still?
- There's animals!
- I bowled, I think, the lion's legs off.
- I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna see it,
it's not happening.
- It was self defense, I can see the shadow
of the giraffe floating behind me.
Is that a head?
- Oh, wait, I think I found it.
I found it, I found it.
- I lost you.
I think I don't have any legs.
- Um, if there's any animals...
(inaudible deep voice)
- Oh, oh, oh my god!
What is that?
- Uh, could you please
(screams)
Crystal, you have to put the key in the door!
- I threw the key and it disappeared.
There's eyeballs on the ground.
- You're still alive.
- Okay, I gotta--
- You're in there with the rhino.
- I think the key went through the wall, I'm so sorry rhino.
(laughs)
- Well, the animals won.
- Yeah, I'm sorry, you not having any arms
or legs, you can't creep up behind me
when you don't have any arms or legs.
- I think I literally shouted out loud,
I'm coming in behind you
and bringing animals with me.
Okay, let's just move on. - Let's move on.
- We have to win.
- Alright.
- These are animal bots.
They're very aggressive though,
and I think they move faster than us.
- If anyone's gonna win, I'm glad it's the animal.
- Okay, I picked up a riot shield
and a boxing glove.
- Is this a ball?
- You get out!
You are a bad animal - [Crystal] I've got a ball.
- You're a bad animal.
- I have a rubber ball, so if they attack me
I can just use that and no one gets hurt.
- Oh, literally all the giant zoo animals
are running after me.
Are you doing anything?
- No, I've got a ball and it makes it hard to see.
I got rid of the ball.
- I can't tell what is literally happening.
I died again.
- Look at this cool penguin statue.
- Crystal, there are things that need to be done.
I'm dead again.
- It was gold, the key was gold.
- You left me alone with, literally, a lion, a rhino
and an elephant.
Surprise, I died.
- I though we were like divide and conquering.
- You're still alive.
My question is, why are none of the animals running at you?
All of the animals just ran directly at me at the beginning
and they're leaving Crystal alone.
- They can sense that I'm a friend to the animals.
- Except for now they're going after you.
- Oh my god, this is... - You're still alive.
- You can see the bone and meat, okay.
I disconnected, we lost that round.
It's startling, it's startling when they...
- To be fair, yes, when the animals charge at you
it's very unsettling.
Oh, someone joined our game whose not me or Crystal!
(laughs)
I'm so excited!
Okay, daemo.
- Daemo.
- Our new best friend, daemo's gonna help us find this key.
Okay, I have a gun.
- Okay, I heard that, yep
- You are an elephant.
- I forgot were sticking together, we're sticking together.
- You are an elephant, you are an elephant.
You're a bad elephant.
- There's a guy with a fire hydrant, that must be daemo.
- Is that what you were about to say?
(shrieks) Giraffe!
(Crystal screams)
It just clipped through the wall!
- Are you the one-armed nunchuck guy?
- I have a whip and a long stick.
I think I'm running around with both of my arms straight up.
What did I do?
I pushed a button.
- What?
- You die?
Humans win.
(triumphant music)
I didn't do it though.
- Can I play as an animal this time?
- Yeah, go for it.
- Maybe if I'm a gorilla I can pick up the key.
- That would make some sense.
Give me that gun.
- I don't feel real good about having
a baby on my back while I'm fighting,
but I guess that's...
- What, what's hurting me?
A penguin!
(bleep) you penguin!
It's too close to me, I can't shoot it.
- Gorilla was a poor choice.
- This elephants is on--
The elephant just pushed me through the ground.
Now I'm spinning out of control.
- Hey, hey human. - Did you find a (inaudible).
Hey, human with the chainsaw.
Where do you think you're going?
Me and my baby are gonna murder you.
- Aw, the baby mimics what you do.
- Aw, see, this is how they learn.
To kill.
I should show my baby that there can be peace between us.
- That's an aggressive--
- Oh my god! - You just threw your baby,
but now you have another one?
- Oh, thank goodness.
I don't like that my special attack
is to throw my baby.
- I like it.
(laughs) - Oh god.
- This guy that's playing with us
is so much better than us.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey, no!
Oh, no, I don't have any way to attack with no arms,
or do I?
Oh, my head just went flying.
(triumphant music)
- And yet, still the animals won.
This is very confusing
- I think it was fun, like, to play with your friends.
It's very unexpected and that can be fun.
- I think that if you got enough people
that were humans to play this game
that we didn't have to use the bots
it would be even more fun.
I'm glad I have this in my Steam library now.
- I just wanna hug my cats
and tell them I'll never throw a monkey baby at them.
- I just want, like, a hotdog.