.
We are in December now,
so there will be a lot of big celebrations
that we will have
like on Christmas and New Year’s Eve.
Normally, everybody has a lot of expectations.
“This should be a very happy moment,
a happy time.
We will have fun,
and we will have family gatherings
and holidays.”
But sometimes,
not everything
may go as we wish.
That is life. Sometimes it has ups and downs.
Life is like the waves of the ocean
that go up and down.
Sometimes, due to our high expectations,
we cannot get what we want,
and then we might have quarrels or arguments.
Also,
during the past few years,
especially within these last two years,
we have had the pandemic,
and we may have lost our loved ones.
We might be grieving for them
and miss them.
Also, sometimes
we begin the preparations for the holiday,
and then, during the holiday, we drink too much
and get out of control, and we have a big fight.
A disaster may happen.
I think these are really great opportunities
in which we all can practice
awareness, love and compassion,
and wisdom.
Normally,
when we have expectations,
what happens is that
because of the expectations,
whatever the situation is —
if we have very high expectations —
we always think,
“Oh, this is not the same as what I expected.”
And then, “There is something more.”
“There is a problem.”
Our mind becomes very sensitive,
and if there is something wrong,
we are disappointed.
Or the gift does not seem to be very nice.
“I was supposed to
get a very good gift!”
Or, “What should I give?”
Maybe sometimes people
are planning what to give to this person,
their family member, their friend,
and they wonder, “Which one should I give them?
How many gifts should I buy?
How much money do I have?”
So many emotions come.
Sometimes, there are disappointments,
expectations, cravings,
and aversion.
First,
we can practice what we call “awareness.”
We can be aware, when these emotions come,
that there are a lot of sensations in the body.
We do not try to fight the sensations
or look for sensations.
We just be with them.
All of these sensations,
thoughts,
and “blah, blah, yada, yada” conversations
that are in our mind
are held in awareness.
Sometimes I say that awareness
is like a guest house
or a hotel,
so any thoughts, emotions,
sensations, cravings,
expectations,
and sadness are like guests in the hotel.
Let them come, let them go.
Especially when you
bring awareness to your emotions,
then later, when you are together with
your friends and family,
you will have more control
and be more
present.
There will be fewer problems,
disappointments,
arguments, and quarrels,
and it will be good for your friends and family.
At the same time . . .
The first step we do is to practice awareness.
The second step is love and compassion.
You can think about this for yourself.
You want to be happy and do not want to suffer.
Preparing for
Christmas or for New Year’s is looking for happiness
and to avoid problems and suffering.
At a deeper level, you want everybody to be good.
At a deeper level, you care,
and you have love and compassion for everybody.
So you can recognize that,
and then you understand that
all of your friends and family,
at a deeper level, have love and compassion too.
In general,
all of us wish to be happy
and do not want to suffer.
You can include all of them
under your love and compassion
and send your love and compassion to everybody.
I think that would be really good,
so that our
big celebrations at the end of the year,
Christmas and New Year’s, will become meaningful.
And based on that,
we can learn awareness, love, and compassion.
Hopefully, all of you will have wonderful celebrations
with awareness,
love and compassion, and wisdom.