Whoa, what if the dip was inside the chip?
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good mythical morning!
Happy Groundhog Day!
And speaking of hogs on the ground,
the big game is this Sunday!
Now, we're not allowed to actually say
the name of the game for legal reasons, but let's just call it
the ultimate American gridiron sports competition tournament finale
where the two football teams
who ascended their respective sides of the tournament bracket
compete to establish which football team
is the best football team for the current year 52!
So today we'll be attempting some perfect field goal trick shots
and eating some unsavory animal feet and balls.
I get it.
But first, I don't know about you,
but I'm a little tired of the typical food for that game
that you talked about way too long to describe.
Yeah, you got guac. You got peanut M&Ms. You got wings.
I'm so bored of the food, that I'm actually watching the game.
Let's change that.
It's time for...
- Wow! - Yeah.
Way to go with the really long title, Rhett.
- Yeah. - All right,
so all of these ingenuitive dishes
that we are going to share with you today
can be made with the things you're already going to have
laying around for your ultimate American gridiron blah blah blah...
...party.
Let's get this party started.
I'm sick of dipping my chips.
It feels so 20th Century.
We have 3D printers now, people.
And you go up to the dip,
and there's the remnants of broken chips
from other people who you know
have touched the dip with their fingers
trying to get that broken chip out
- and then they gave up. - Bad dippers. Bad dippers.
Who knows what's been on their party people fingers?
- I don't wanna eat that. - I got some guesses.
So we thought, what if we encased the dip inside of the chip?
And so we have created "Great Balls of Queso,"
aka "Balls Dip."
This is how you do it.
You take your queso dip,
and you form it into a ball inside of some plastic wrap.
Then you chill it in the fridge.
and while they're setting, you blend up some tortilla chips
to make the chip crumbs.
Once it's set, you roll the balls in flour.
then egg batter,
then tortilla chip crumbs,
and deep fry them
and then pops out these balls.
Those balls.
Grab one, Rhett.
Inside, if we haven't let them got too cold--
"Haven't let them got too cold."
...there's gonna be some oozy goodness.
All right, crack it.
Crack it like an egg.
- Look at that. - Oh, my.
- Oh, man. - I'm gonna turn this up.
And then I'm gonna-- I'm still gonna dip it in some salsa.
I kinda wanna just go raw right here,
with the first one.
- Go raw? - No salsa.
It's still warm in there.
Mm-hm, and you know what?
Look at that hand.
There's no dip on that hand.
All of the dip is inside of the globe.
It's so much more efficient.
It's got everything you need.
and a nice little handheld sphere.
Oh, sorry, got a little cheese on my mustache.
And you're kind of undermining my thing about not being messy,
but I guess that's okay.
Now, you can't just wrap some little smokies in Pillsbury
and call it an app anymore.
That's lazy!
So we're upping the ante by taking the pig to the skies.
If Pigs Could Fly In A Blanket.
Okay, for this one,
you take boneless buffalo wings,
wrap them in bacon,
check, check.
That's the pig and the fly.
You bake it at 375 degrees for 15 minutes,
till the bacon is nice and crispy.
Now you gotta have the blanket,
so you wrap that whole mess in puff pastry
to keep it night and warm.
Then you bake again, this time at 385 degrees for ten minutes.
-
Rhett:
A flying pig, cozy in a blanket.
Look at that.
Now, it's a-- it's a big'un.
- And you know, it's-- - It's a nice 'un.
- Look at that. - It's not too much blanket.
You don't wanna have too much blanket.
This is like a plain blanket. You know what I'm saying?
This is like the blanket you get when you're flying.
- Yeah. - Covers--
Me, it covers, like, 17% of my body.
It's like a hand towel.
I get, like, one thigh-- I get one thigh warmed at a time.
You don't want both thighs warm.
- Uh-uh. - You want a warm thigh and a cold thigh.
and then you wanna switch.
What happens when two thighs get too warm?
Well, you melt. ( makes whooshing sound ) You just--
That's not what I was thinking,
but let's-- and this is some ranch dip here.
Ranch it, dink it,
'cause we dink the first one.
Double dink this for good measure.
You're trying to get some more of my ranch through a dink.
Oh, man, this is gracious.
"This is gracious"?
I don't believe you meant to say that.
Mm.
Goodness gracious, this is awesome.
Yeah, goodness gracious. You shortened it.
This is so gracious, y'all.
This is the kind of thing that
is putting together a bunch of things you love
and seeing if something new and wonderful will happen.
I think something new and wonderful
is happening in my mouth right now.
I think I'm figuring out
that I wanna be mummified
in crescent roll.
When I die, mummify me in crescent roll.
And then what, eat you?
I don't even care at that point.
I'm sure I'll be happy and gracious.
Now, we love the Bloomin' Onion from Outback
and the Awesome Blossom from Chili's.
- The same thing. - Yeah, copycat.
But if they can make an onion amazing,
we thought, what would the same approach do to a pizza?
- Uh-oh. - Well, this is how you go about it.
You take a pizza.
You slice the strips to the center,
but you leave a circle in the middle
where all the strips can remain attached.
You dredge the whole thing in flour,
then egg wash, then bread crumbs.
It's a little difficult,
but you shove it all into a deep fryer,
dip it down slowly,
pull it back up,
and you have a bloomin' pizza.
- Rhett:
and don't, that's what has happened.
You still got--
I'll get to the middle soon enough.
You get to that, and if you're still hungry,
then you're going to be okay with that.
It's almost like deep fried medusa.
Yeah, we could call it that.
Okay, so...
And you-- You know how it is
trying to pull apart a Bloomin' Onion anyway.
It's a little unwieldy.
We need to do a little dippy dip.
Yeah, Grandma's reaching for it.
Your kid's tearing it apart.
Hm.
The crust is the least favorite part of the pizza.
It's like we added more crust to the pizza.
Yeah, so I'm trying to figure out, have we done a good thing?
I don't know.
It's like taking the bottom of a pizza
and making the bottom of the pizza the top of the pizza.
And still keeping the-- it as the bottom.
- Right. - It's the everywhere of the pizza now.
It's kind of like calzonish.
Let me take a-- Let me find another spot.
I think the other thing is, like,
it's such a pleasant surprise
when you bite into an onion and it tastes that great.
But with something as great as pizza,
like, is the pizza the ceiling?
- I think it might-- Yeah. - And then the breading.
I think pizza approaches perfection like an asymptote.
Mm-hm.
- Anything you do-- - You can bet your asymptote
that it approaches the asymptote,
and then it can't get any better,
and I feel like by doing this to it,
we moved it a little bit off of the Y axis,
if you know what I mean by that.
I know how Y you mean.
I wanted to say Y 'cause I said Y axis.
But we don't wanna stop you from trying it.
- No, I mean-- - Approach your asymptote.
With caution.
There is such a thing as an ice luge.
Now, this is something at parties,
parties I haven't been to,
an ice sculpture where--
- A ditch. - There is basically
this long luge, a slide,
and you pour a beverage of your choice
and it cools down
and goes into someone's waiting mouth.
We are going to apply that same advanced technology
to chili with the chili slide.
So we start with a six-foot sub--
which it turns out a six foot sub is just subs put together. Ha ha.
We're going to discard the toppings
but keep these intact
so the crew can enjoy
just sub for days.
What I wanna do is actually create a bottomless sub
but has the bottom as a top and the top as a top.
...all these together but just setting them down
just like they were on the sub,
basically creating another sub.
Got it down.
Just start scooping out the lettuce liberally.
And I think a little bit of lettuce
just to flavor the chili
as it comes down the slide
Yeah, that never hurt anybody whose done this before.
Now I'm going to take this rolling pin,
really wanna create a nice...
luge-like center to this thing.
You know, I want to have a channel.
They call this the chili channel.
Yeah, you just wanna ditch it up. Lots of ditchin'.
- Which is also a fail-- - Ditchin' and groanin'.
- The chili channel is a failed Food Network initiative. - Groan, man.
I was into it.
Now, I'm going to take my end here.
- Let's support-- - You going to the back, or am I going to the back?
- I'm going to the back. - Oh, yeah, go to the back.
We're going to put it on the luge right there.
Now I'm going to elevate
'cause we have to have an angle
that is conducive to chili sliding, Link.
- Please just... - ♪ Bum, bum, bum... ♪
Link, keep an eye on that.
( hums fanfare from "2001: A Space Odyssey" )
That's nice.
Now, that is a steep chili luge, my friend.
That's going to come down at a rate into my mouth
that I might not be comfortable with.
Get comfortable, brother, 'cause it's coming.
All right.
I got a pot full of chili.
You better have a belly full of waitin'.
Okay.
Three, two, one, chili slide!
Oh, goodness, that is pleasant.
It's like a turd avalanche.
It's coming, Link. It's coming.
It's coming.
It's coming, Link. Open the hatch!
It's still coming, Link. It's like a mudslide!
Yeah! How much did you get down?
( gags )
Boy, the kinetic energy really gives it a good flavor.
- Yeah. - Oh, man, you gotta try this.
( chuckling ) Oh.
Okay, here we go.
- You ready? - Yeah!
- Bring it! - Three, two, one!
Chili slide!
Oh, it looks so great coming-- look at that.
It's like a volcanic eruption.
Wait for it.
Link: Oh, gosh!
That is heinous.
I'm getting as much as I can.
It looks like that one time I looked over at Rhett in third grade at a make-out party.
Oh, my goodness.
I got a fair amount.
Did I get some in my eye?
He's blind!
But it was worth it.
It was-- It was worth every second,
worth every drop.
The last thing he saw
was an avalanche of chili
coming right towards his mouth and his eyes.
I'm just going to stay right here
'cause I'm afraid to open my eyes.
But I had a great time.
Enjoy the big game.
Click on through to see us nail
some insane field goal trick shots.
Rhett:
Now get an "Ear Biscuits" Mason jar
for your mouth hole at mythical.store.
And don't be a you-know-what hole.