so this morning I found myself feeling like really irritable and I could not
figure out why but then then through a little bit of mindfulness I realized
what the issue was jealousy is a business everybody this is
Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the
solution and if you're new to my channel my channel is all about mental health
that's something that I'd like to do is pull different topics from the YouTube
community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional
well-being something that can help you with your mental and emotional
well-being is learning how to chill out with the jealousy so make sure you
subscribe and rig that notification bell but before I jump into my storytime
about why I hate the channel spill make sure you go sign up on patreon so a lot
of you have a ton of requests talking about different topics or different
youtubers or whatever it is and I can only do so much so I do something called
patreon Q&A so I have different tiers of patreon the bunch of different perks but
if you sign up for even a dollar I do patreon q and A's will answer your
questions so I'm gonna do one this weekend I just posted the QA thing over
on patreon go check it out sign up for patreon for as little as $1 but you sign
up for five you get extra videos and all sorts of stuff alright anyways let's
jump into this so those of you who are not familiar with the channel spill
spill started I think her oldest video is about two months old right maybe a
little longer she popped up and I started getting recommended her channel
when the Shane Dawson Jake Paul series was going on but what's up with that
my series was the Shane Dawson Jake Paul series so how come spill is doing this too so
I'm going over there and I'm watching a content and I'm just going absolutely
bonkers alright so I've been on YouTube for
about a year now right a little over a year and I am almost at 40,000
subscribers spill just started two months ago and she is almost
2,000 subscribers and it just drives me absolutely nuts so like every time she
post a video I look at it and sometimes I post a video before she posts a video
and they're all the same topics but she's getting massive amounts of views
compared to mine like look at this are you guys seeing this
like these are videos on the exact same thing why is she getting so many more
views than I am what am i doing why do the YouTube algorithm gods hate me so
much that they're promoting spill more than me I make such amazing content
right right can any of you relate to this can any of you relate to these
feelings that I'm feeling right and part of that mental health channel is like I
try to you know I try to make videos to talk about what I go through because not
only do I want you to relate to the youtubers that you're watching like I
want you to relate to me I know there's stuff that I deal with you know and I
want to talk about my personal experiences and how I get through these
things so this is about jealousy and a lot of people have asked me about
jealousy like those of you who don't know me you had like I used to have
terrible terrible anger management issues I grew up very angry and upset I
was the biggest hater on earth like your success made me mad being the son of an
alcoholic mom seeing other people with their nice families or you know my
family didn't make me that much money and I would see kids you know their
pants are buying em what I went to school kids who have like BMWs when they
were 16 and I was still riding on the bus and I just hated it I hated like why
is everything so much easier for you than it is for me right and now now that
I'm growing and I'm a I'm a big boy now like this still happens to me I often
sit there like saying why is everything so much easier for you than it is for me
how come it seems like life or the universe or whatever it is just how
you everything but not me right and this can absolutely destroy our mental health
and that's why we need to work on this okay
so like for example with spill here's three suggestions to work on your
jealousy and anger so the first thing I do with my mindfulness practice is when
I see these thoughts these ruminating thoughts these thoughts these obsessive
thoughts they're coming over and over and over again I ask myself one simple
question okay is this useful to me is it useful okay and for the most part it's
not alright so there's a reason why I say we talk about the problem to focus
on the solution me sitting in in this problem and thinking about how spill is
getting all these views and her channels doing better than mine and all those
things like what good is that really doing me how much time how many minutes
how many hours how many days am I going to waste sitting in a pity party saying
why won't the YouTube algorithm treat me like it does spill like is that useful
to me how am i progressing how am i succeeding in any way by sitting in that
problem right but there is a little bit there is a little bit and this is just
the way that I'm wired and if you're wired this way use it too it motivates
me so I figured out a way to take that jealousy that irrational jealousy and
turn it into motivation so now I look at somebody like spill who's killing it and
doing awesome and that motivates me to work harder and do better you know what
can I do so I look at my situation because it's not about what I can't
control what cannot control can I make more videos can I screw sup my editing
what can I do to get to where she's at right so you see what I mean so the the
emotion the emotion is still gonna be there but how do I turn it from
something that's not useful into something that's useful so now this is
my motivation my drives my passion so for example if you work with somebody
and they're getting promoted there raises and stuff like that don't sit
back and hate on them figure out what you got to do to work harder and get to
where they are you see what I mean one of my favorite sayings is if you
want what they have you got to do what they do right and for some of us we have
to do even more but I guarantee it'll be worth it so the second part of this that
helps me with the jealousy and the anger is realizing what a jerk aren't being
right so I can sit back and say like oh it must be nice spill it must be nice if
the YouTube algorithm just loves you so much that it promotes all your videos
and that is so awful right because here's the thing I don't know if you've
ever watched spills videos I'm gonna link her channel down below but she is
an amazing content creator I absolutely love her content she she's very
well-spoken she uses great clips he also uses like animated Clips not even sure
if she's animating them or what first of all you cannot make an uncut raw series
about yourself if you're the one reviewing or editing the episodes you
naturally want to put out the most sympathetic version of yourself and even
if you're not reviewing it or editing it your editor still has a vested interest
in keeping you happy because you're paying them one thing they absolutely
love about our content too is that I don't know if she's a psychology student
or what so spill if you see this talk to me but she she talks about different
psychologists and studies and she intertwines that with our videos and it
is phenomenal you should never fight over text message
so many things can be misunderstood or miscommunicated he could have called her
or met up with her in person to talk things through a psychologist David
Lattin says conflict is inevitable in any
relationship but how couples communicate during a conflict goes a long way so
she's working really hard and she deserves this right but if I sit here
I'm like oh she's just lucky she's just lucky like what kind of jerk would I
have to be to take away from her hard work her skills her effort you know what
I mean so I need to get out of that mine and again if anything I need to work
harder because maybe just maybe it's not the algorithms fault
but maybe because of that extra effort that she puts into her videos maybe
that's why her videos are doing better but anyway she's doing a phenomenal job
I don't need to take away from that by saying she's lucky or it must be nice
tip number three tip number three for working on jealousy
and anger is this okay is you always have to remember I always have to
remember that happiness is not a limited resource okay let me repeat that again
for the people in the back happiness is not a limited resource like this is one
of the most fascinating things about our brands okay why does our brain think
that somebody else's happiness is taking away from our happiness right like for a
second like are their happiness deposits that we're running out of is global
warming affecting people no absolutely not
so why am I wasting time getting upset that spill or anybody else in life is
succeeding and doing well okay so what are the meditation practices that I try
to teach all of you is something called loving-kindness so download any
meditation app and you'll find it but it's like sending good thoughts good
wishes good emotions whatever it is to other people and it will help it helps
retrain your brain so something that I try to do now is I look at this and I
realize you know my happiness isn't being taken away by someone else's
happiness and I realize I realize like this is for the like the greater good if
you will seeing other youtubers succeed helps me
out seeing other people in my niche in my career whatever you want to call it
it is helping me out so if you are in a job if you are in an industry like if
somebody's getting promoted or raises around you that's good that's good for
you because that means that your company is actually investing in its employees
you see what I'm saying but the more youtubers who succeed the better chances
I have a succeeding so I want all of the youtubers to succeed I want all of them
to do well and I hope that makes sense just remember and this is where
mindfulness comes in so mindfulness is a practice of being present and noticing
what's happening right now so if you could just make the small step the small
step to ask yourself why do you feel like someone else's happiness is taking
away from your own if you can just stop and ask yourself that question I
guarantee your life will get better all right but anyways spill is an amazing
content creator I've never talked to her but this is just something that was on
my mind and I know this is something that can help some of you with jealousy
let me know is this something that you struggle with like do you become a hater
do you look at other people's success and you just get mad or upset or say
they're lucky it must be nice it's not the conversation down below in the
comments okay anyway that's all I got for this video if you like this video
please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe and read that
notification about because I make a ton of videos I might be making two or three
more videos snack I don't know yeah anyways huge thank you to everybody
supporting the channel over on patreon you're all awesome and again go sign up
over on patreon click the top right here sign up because I will be doing the
patreon Q&A this weekend all right thanks so much for watching
quit being a hater and I'll see you next time