And now, Youtube Comments with Jacksepticeye
If life gives you lemons, punch it in the face and ask for apples.
I mean if you're going to be punching anything in the face for giving you lemons, and you're demanding things.
Why stop at Apples? Ask for money,
social security card numbers, stuff like that and ask them to give over the firstborn child to you.
Like keep -- keep it going you're already fucking knee-deep in, you might as well get as much as you can out of it
This voice is like a cup of cocaine for all the new peeps.
I should probably stop talking then, because that's a very addictive
voice to get used to. A very strong addictive voice to interact with on the channel. Also very expensive.
coming back here every day driving that addiction, getting your fix in every day.
Almost be costing you a fortune just by talking now. Jacksepticeye for president
2020. First off, dear Jesus Christ
no, because I would be an awful president and, secondly, isn't the 2020 elections like the American ones
I have a bit of a nationality
conflict going on with that. Jack says: punch the like button in the face like a boss. Me: gently slaps it.
I'm sorry, but I just cannot take you seriously if you see a like button and just go up and go, *boop*
Wh-How's that gonna show it who's boss.
How is that gonna make the point get across. You're gonna get up and fucking wallop it.
Anything you do in life, you got to go full force at it.
You can't just go up and gently tap it.
It's like if I wanted to become a singer, I can't just go up and be like *soft singing*
Aint No stopping us now...*giberish*
You gotta fucking get in and belt it out. *I'm
going to swing from the Chandelieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer*
Beep beep. I'm a sheep. I said beep beep I'm a sh-
NO!
Jack, are you an elf? Only at Christmas, and that's a really busy time of year cuz Santa just really fucking works
it to the bone, coming up to Christmas time.
I mean it's kind of his fault. He's terrible at time management.
And he always leaves all the work until right until Christmas comes. The rest of the time
he's just sitting around on his fat ass drinking milk and eating cookies. But on the other day of the week,
I'm the world's sexiest lion tamer and tap dancer um... It's a niche profession. But I mean
there's work out there for us. I've matured a lot
Laughs at the word uranus I mean come on
It's a planet, and it's called your anus.
But who wouldn't laugh at that? It's amazing, it's comedy gold.
I mean, I'm mature, I can make big life decisions, but if I can't laugh with the silly shit
then what's the fucking point. All the way
I believe in Steve mother ape ass. Ahh by the way that is his full official title his second name is mother ape ass,
Steve mother ape ass. That's why you got to believe in him because he could be your president one day. Also,
I know you believe in Steve but did you grab the Glory all the way to Victory?
'Cause if you didn't then why why over here just to suffer? Shower thoughts with jacksepticeye should be a series.
I mean my shower thoughts aren't anything that spectacular. I'm kinda sitting in there being like what am I gonna eat for dinner?
What videos I'm gonna record today man? Man, I should really scrub my butt hole again. It's getting a bit dirty.*laughs*
I punched that like button. Now my display is broken. SAD!
oh!
Looks like we got an amateur over here. *strange elfish gibberish* You got to learn how to punch the like button without breaking shit.
There's a way of doing it. There's a special technique.
There's a secret area on the monitor that you can punch just right and you get all the gloriousness.
I mean, I'm going to do a public service here, get more kids to punch like buttons in the face.
It's getting them off the streets out of crime and drugs. Green is not a creative color, Jack. Well,
Why don't you tell that to Shrek?
Because as I see it he went out about his day one day all of a sudden met a friend and a donkey then went
on a massive adventure saved the princess fell in love had a bunch of babies. That's very creative for a man
that's all green.
I mean, he did make a candle out of Earwax and lived in a swamp...
So I don't know how much we can actually trust that but green green green!
poor wade I feel bad about how much the others seem to just non-stop ganging up on him. aw!
Don't worry about wade! I know it seems like a lot of the times when we record with them
The four of us that it seems like we're ganging up on him a lot and shitting all over him and making jokes I know
Sometimes I just seemed completely
un-enthused by what wade says, but it's all just for the fun of the group dynamic and for the video
We don't actually hate wade we don't actually shit on him all that much in real life or anything like that
It's all just part of the fun. It just kind of started off that way and kind of continued that way because that's just..
The type of characters I guess in the group dynamic the way it is. Wade -- Wade's the comic foil,
he's the butt of the jokes, but Wade's a funny dude in his own way
Well, I guess I could be said for anybody, but I love Wade
He's the best and he's such a sweetheart so.... but just don't trust everything that happens in the videos to translate to real life
especially within friend dynamics; a lot of stuff can be said in the heat of the commentary that isn't actually meant
this guy has too much fucking fun with his job. You bet your sweet ass I do. YouTube is the best job
I've ever had in my life, and I get to sit in my room
I get to play video games I get to talk to so many people worldwide
Just talking in my bedroom where I used to sleep. I mean how crazy is that?
It's absolutely bonkers to think that I get to do this on a daily basis. So why not have fun with it?
If that's what the complaint about everything is awesome. You're so silly sometimes
You have no idea this one time
I went down to the kitchen and I got peanut butter and just a spoon and I just ate it straight from the jar
Didn't even use any bread or crackers or anything like that straight from the jar.
Wild!
I reckon you suffer with sore throats on a weekly basis. You'd think so, but I've got come well-equipped
I have 27 years of training could coming out of this this is a reinforced voice box
Not just your regular, run-of-the-mill voicebox,
I bought this in an infomercial a couple years ago. Doing fantastic work, really getting the mileage out of it.
I got a spare one as well, cause it's buy one get one free, as with all those infomercial things and I got a shamwow
Along with it. I didn't need that
but I mean I needed something to put next to my mighty thirsty
A little fact about "Sean," "Sean" means spoon in Thailand. Does it really? Same
pronunciation and everything, or just the same spelling? because if it's the same everything so that would explain a lot
That would definitely explain why the I of the attention span of a spoon. What happened if you have a friend named life I'd say
We revert back to the first question that was asked in this video. Which is why he's giving you lemons and
We should really just beat down on their ass and demand more. More than just lemons
We deserve more than just lemons! also ask your friend. Why they're so goddamn hard on us all the time.
Jack! I would do ANYTHING AT ALL to meet you! Okay, then give me your first two firstborn children
If you don't have firstborn children, I will take your left ear and also your right ring finger
Don't ask me why it's for an experiment
I have to see only two parts missing so I might as well as someone who's willing to do anything at all as you said
To be able to accomplish that so probably I mean if you give me your two first born children
And I have like lots of other spares and things like that for my experiment um
I mean you could also buy a ticket to like PAX or something or go to an event that I'm at, but I mean
I wouldn't get what I need for my experiment out of that, so
Think about it.
Jack's hair is slowly turning into a lemon. It's cause, apparently, I have a friend named Life who keeps giving me lemons
I want more! I'll burn your house down!
With the Lemons!
whoa Jack stop talking
*jack starts mouthing and captioner does their best to read lips*
Okay, I'll stop talking. But it's your fault now cuz you won't hear the outro.
Thank you guys so much for
watching this video if you liked it
Punch the like button in the face
Like a boss!
*Outro music starts* And High fives all around
*whapoosh* *whapoosh*
Thank you guys and ill see all you dudes
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!
*Outro Song:Im Everywhere*
And now you're all confused! *laughs*