Well my percy pig advent calendar seems to indicate that his Christmas. So I guess it's Christmas
Who could be at the door on Christmas Day?
Gotta go fast
Well that was fucking weird. Oh look, he left a parcel. The hello kitty wrapping papers are nice touch
To IHE, the only present you'll need this year is inside this box. Okay then.
My name's James.
Oh Christmas, you big dope and prepared for four months, and then you're done in a matter of hours
And you suddenly have a large collection of turkey you don't know what to do with
And a batch of useless gifts that you're going to do nothing with but throw in that space by the wardrobe, you know the one I mean.
The thing is--
Can you stop the singing?
Can you please stop the singing?
God almighty, can you please stop with the fucking Christmas songs!
I can't go any longer without talking about those repetitive, inane Christmas songs that are
played and repeated so much it makes you physically repulse and scowl every time you hear them!
Doing the exact opposite of their intended Jolly Christmas cheer.
I mean if you want to be minted for the rest of your life write a catchy Christmas song and bathe in the riches
But it's kind of like making a fortune off blood diamonds
Well kind of or not at all where maybe you get what I mean
You know as far as commercial holidays go, I reckon Christmas is still probably one of the most genuine.
Personally I'm not really bothered about the whole gift thing
it's just quite a nice time to sit around
and... eat.
Just eat and eat
and then eat some more.
And then top it all off by eating again.
Not to mention the fact that it's actually pretty important to the economy.
Something like a quarter of all personal spending takes place over the Christmas holiday season. That's banana
I mean bananas. Now it sounds weird when I say it. I can't call anything bananas ever again
It's kind of funny how the entire fabric of the world staying somewhat financially stable is dependent on people fighting over Elmo toys
I've never really understood the idea of gift etiquette like how you're supposed to react I guess no matter what the gift itself is,
you have to act pleased no matter how ridiculous or impractical the gift may be you have to slap a smile on your face and approach
the gift giver with a pre-decided message something like
Thank you so much for this you know I really needed one of those
or like wow this Eiffel Tower boob shot glass is really tasteful, and totally not worthless cheers
The worst though is when you have a group of people watching you anticipating your reaction.
Puts you on the spot
What's even worse when you get a gift that's arrived in the post
Because you have no choice but to write a thank-you letter
Forget the fact that it's the 21st century and the internet's a thing,
it's time to crack out the old pen and paper and write the same thank you message six times to save time before going to the post box to send them off
What is this 1995? It's same with Christmas cards. There's always something like have a nice Christmas
You could just say that to me in person or send it in a free email. I really don't give a shit
What about when you unexpectedly get a gift from someone you won't expecting one from what are you supposed to do?
Are you supposed to then buy them something in return even though it's too late?
Or do you wait and add them to the list for next year?
You either need a gift rotor or carefully chosen specific gift-giving relationships.
For example, before you go out handing out presents willy-nilly
you both need to clearly state the gifts are going to be exchanged at very specific points in time
me and my friend who isn't James have a deal where we have to try to buy the worst possible gift
for each other. This year he got me a paint your own gnome wrapped in minion wrapping paper
You may think he's won, but here's what I got him
Do you remember the exact moment that someone ruined the fact that Santa isn't real for you?
If you don't, sorry, because it was right now in this video,
I was innocently sat in primary school and some smartass kid was ranting on about it.
Taking immense pleasure in crushing everyone's hopes and dreams
I refused to believe it, but as the years went on the more jaded I became.
Actually reached a point where I was happy to receive coal in my stocking
because it allowed me to start a fire in a weak attempt to warm my dulled broken heart.
I know the idea of Santa is fun for kids and whatnot, but it's quite a cruel trick.
When my brother was younger I used to lie to him about things all the time
I once said that Santa would die if you saw him. Then I got in trouble for being a liar.
When all along my parents have been lying and hiding the biggest conspiracy of all time from me, lying right to my face.
As much as I loved pretending to be happy about presents, sitting through horrible Christmas music, seeing Shrek 3 for the sixtieth time,
and all the other questionable things that come with Christmas.
I have to admit, it's all part of the weird fucked up charm it has.
Forget the fact that the man the entire holiday is based around got impaled with large nails to his hands and feet.
And left to rot in pain and agony until he eventually died.
What's more important is the fat old man who holds various animals and elves hostage to painstakingly make and deliver toys to every child on the planet.
Oh and uh, drink Coca-Cola. Drink Coca-Cola.
Drink Coca Cola. Drink Coca-cola.
Drink Coca Cola. Drink Coca-Cola
Drink Coca Cola. Drink Coca-Cola. Drink Coca Cola. Drink Coca-Cola. Drink Coca Cola. Drink Coca-Cola.
Drink Coca-Cola. Drink Coca-Cola. Drink Coca-Cola. Drink Coca-Cola.
Drink Coca-Cola Coke Ka Cola Ca Jink Oka, what?
What did you expect to achieve by sending yourself in this comically tiny box?
I dunno mate.
Well, I know what to do with you
Noe :(
Noe!
Merry Christmas everyone! What a year this has been ay? So what do you think, you a fan of Christmas?
Or are you not, you Grinch?
Did I miss anything else that you can think of? Tell me in the comments below and as always,
Thanks for watching, all comments and ratings are very much appreciated make sure to check out some of my other videos
I'll see you next time bye ay ho-ho. What?
You never do a tango with an eskimo no no no