Some may say INFJs can first come off as cold, distant and intimidating people.
Their introverted intuition causes them to take the back seat in most
conversations in order to properly observe and analyze using their dominant function,
but from the outside they can easily seem aloof and in the clouds. So.. aside from intimidation,
why do these traits make INFJs seem so awkward in particular social situations?
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Alright, let’s get right into it starting with.. Number 1: The slow revealing process
It’s no surprise that INFJs are known for opening up to others at an extremely slow pace,
but how does this unique layer-peeling process play into their awkward nature? Well, the ironic
thing about getting to know an INFJ is that just when you think you have them figured out,
they surprise you with a new dynamic to their personality. Whether it be humorous,
emotional, opinionated, spontaneous.. You name it, this walking paradox is known for
revealing their subtle traits one at a time, and only to the right people. However.. Nobody
ever promised this process to be easy or graceful, in fact, each time they reveal
something new about themselves, an INFJ can easily feel just as awkward as the receiver.
A good example of this would be their at times dark humor. INFJs are incredibly
warm and empathetic by nature once you get to know them, making it so that an unexpected dark-humored
joke may send an unassumed stranger off course - consequently taking the INFJ down with them.
Number 2: Explaining with minute details
INFJs see things with great detail, picking up every little piece of information that
others often overlook.. While it makes for a great flexibility when seeing things from a
bird’s eye view, not everyone can relate to this way of thinking. So when it comes time
for an INFJ to explain a story or scenario, they may find themselves getting into the nitty gritty
details without any real reason to do so. In fact, when an INFJ is explaining their point
of view on a topic or past event, they can’t help to explain it from their perspective,
as they see each piece of information being crucial in their overall analysis.
Unfortunately, this level of detail and the rather strange details themselves can easily bore people.
Information overload may cause others to get lost in the practicalities, yet be too uninterested to
ask the INFJ to re-explain. This is a classic example of why INFJs can end up feeling so
misunderstood and reluctant to explain themselves in the first place. Awkward or not for the other
person, INFJs can usually tell immediately when they’ve lost someone through their explanations.
And that means the real awkwardness comes from the INFJ having to make the decision whether or
not to keep going or just quiet down. Number 3: The blank INFJ stare
With an introverted intuition that stays active for the most part of their waking hours,
it becomes a normal part of the INFJs day to actively focus on this main function. Little
does the INFJ know, this innate focus on the inner mind can seem nothing short of strange
from a passer-by's perspective. During these times of deep introspection, the INFJ can be
caught staring off into the distance or even staring directly at a person. With little regard
as to what their eyes are actually fixed upon, in these moments, INFJs are busy working away
deep within the complexity of their minds. Besides this habit being quite awkward enough on its own,
INFJs have a tendency to do this even in large social conversations, completely blanking out as
to what is going on in front of them due to the distractions in the attic..or the need to deeply
observe something they’ve noticed. In other words, let’s just say, when the so-called ‘incredible
listener’ INFJ is being asked for their opinion on a matter when they were technically not present
for some of the conversation, it can make for an interesting scenario to say the least.
Number 4: Randomly sharing extremely deep insights We say extremely deep insights, but what we really
mean is simple INFJ perspectives. While it’s second-nature for this introspective type, INFJs
can seem rather extreme to others when it comes to how deep they can really dive into a topic.
They can easily come across as being hippy-dippy, woo-woo, conspiracy theorists or simply unorthodox
people because of where they allow their open-mind to travel. And for the most part, INFJs know not
to share their deepest thoughts and ideas on matters for the sole reason of seeming even more
like an outcast. However, there are times where this type feels compelled to share their insights,
whether the conversation calls for it, or they feel comfortable enough around a group of people
to let down one of their many guards. Depending on the open-minded nature of the listeners,
a vocalized INFJ insight can easily make or break the overall mood of a conversation.
Not everyone is as willing to give as deep as this type, surfacing a great
deal of discomfort and awkwardness in some seemingly uncalled-for scenarios.
Number 5: Listening and joining into other people’s conversations
INFJs are genuine listeners and natural observers who have an eye (and a supposed ear) for their
surroundings. With these two natural talents being at the forefront of their observations,
it’s no surprise that this type makes for incredible eavesdroppers.
We get it.. It’s not exactly something to be proud of as it depicts nosy behavior, however,
the INFJ’s extraverted sensing function simply doesn’t allow them to ignore such a thing. In
fact, sometimes an INFJ can even find themselves distracted from their own conversation because of
a conversation they are tuning into around them. Luckily, they’re quite good at remaining stealthy
about this somewhat embarrassing tendency - however sometimes they feel compelled to
join into uninvited conversations, and that’s when things can get interesting!
While this is still a rare occurrence and is done with hefty contemplation beforehand,
INFJs may feel the need to share their view but mostly only when they think they can help.
Unfortunately, there’s no easy way to go around joining a conversation you weren’t invited to,
and while it’s never admitted, it must freak some people out.
Number 6: Asking deeply personal questions
INFJs usually have a good handle at navigating their extroverted social side when interacting
with others. In other words, they usually hold a good balance between being a normal civilized
human and still staying somewhat interested in the social interaction. However, sometimes an INFJ’s
longing to decode and understand people on a deep level can get the best of them. While they try to
keep things ‘socially appropriate’ INFJs can’t help but to find themselves bored at the same
old auto-pilot questions and answers. And it’s in these times that INFJs make the decision to
risk it all and pull the trigger by changing the topic into something that’s a little more to their
interests. For example, a question like “how was your relationship with your siblings as a child”
can either catch someone's interest entirely, making for some genuine analytical banter. Or..
it can come off as being invading and touchy - and that is when things can easily go south.
Number 7: Being such an underwhelming partier
When it comes to partying and socializing, INFJs take the time to think over how they should dress
and act prior to the anticipated social event. In preparation, they can find themselves thinking up
an elaborate imaginative scenario of them being the social butterfly of the party, laughing,
dancing and having the normal socializing human experience. However, when reality kicks in and
they arrive at their destination, their presence is usually quite reclusive. In fact, when it comes
to large crowds, loud music and grand visuals, INFJs can get so caught up in absorbing and
processing everything around them that they can hardly focus on being a normal-interacting human.
Plus, the concept of socializing always seems more interesting in their minds than in reality,
so, standing off to the side and observing is where most INFJs can be found in these scenarios.
Number 8: A reluctance to start small talk
INFJs can be extroverted when they want to be, but it has to be pretty interesting or important
for an INFJ to crack their introverted intuitive shell. So, although this type can easily engage
in the boring social norm, they almost never feel the need to bring it upon themselves by initiating
meaningless conversation with the people around them. Whether it’s on lunch break with coworkers,
a long drive with a friend, or something as simple as sitting in a waiting room with a stranger,
if there’s nothing interesting to talk about, INFJs rather not talk at all. In fact,
INFJs see useless banter as nothing but a distraction from the inner workings of their
mind where they like to spend their spare time. In other words, headphones are an INFJ’s best friend,
saving them from dreaded banter without having to explain themselves. On the other hand,
give an INFJ a conspiracy topic or invite them into the depths of your mind and you’ll see a
side that they don’t show otherwise. A less awkward and more themselves side.
Well, that's it for today, psych-os. So do you think INFJs are awkward? Tell us
why or why not in the comments below! Also, don’t forget to leave us a like,
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