[MUSIC PLAYING]
CHILDREN: "Psychotown."
Gentlemen, thanks for coming to this meeting
at such short notice.
Craig, it's past midnight.
Yeah, spit it out.
As you all know, I recently came into some money.
Yeah, you won't shut up about it.
RIP, Mom and Dad.
Well, today, I made a purchase.
We're in play, boys.
We are in play.
What the fuck?
Don't touch it, Chris.
That's a catalyzed thermonuclear pulse propulsion device.
Who knows what carnage it could unleash?
Why did you buy it?
All you guys ever do in this house
is talk about nuclear war.
So?
So you're always going on about how long before World
War III starts.
It's made me a nervous wreck.
So I've done something about it.
What?
Buy a nuclear bomb?
You said that nuclear war is inevitable, Wes.
It is if psychos like you start buying weapons.
I'm not a psycho.
It's a deterrent.
Who is it deterring?
Whoever we drop it on.
Wait.
You actually want to use it?
I'm sick of living in fear.
The anxiety is doing my head in.
It's time to lance the boil.
I'm out of here.
You can't leave.
We're sealed in.
What do you mean?
This thing's massively radioactive, Chris.
It's a safety hazard.
So I welded the doors and the windows shut.
So how do we get out?
Let me guess.
We climb out the hole in the roof
that the bomb will make after we launch it.
Woo!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Time's up.
Where's your first?
37 and 1/2 degrees south, 88.1 degrees east.
[CLICKING]
Why do you want to bomb the southern Indian Ocean?
That's meant to be where MH370 went down,
and I want to give those people a proper burial.
Aw, you've chosen that because it's
miles from human civilization, haven't you, Wes?
I don't want to hurt anyone.
But what about the fish?
You know I care passionately about our oceans.
Fine.
Bomb a desert then.
Oh, poor desert.
Nuclear war is a man-made issue.
It has to be a city.
All right, the city with the smallest population,
whatever that is.
That's annoying of you, Chris, but technically
within the rules.
[CLICKING]
Oh, yeah!
What?
That's the Vatican City, population 450.
The Pope goes on the board.
Fucking hell.
My turn.
I vote for Arthur Street basketball courts.
What have you got against them?
It's the site of all our worst arguments.
It has to go.
We'll just find somewhere else to argue.
There won't be anywhere else, Chris.
Oh fuck.
Wes, saying your idea didn't make it,
you can throw the dart.
No way.
Well, it's up to you how much radiation you want to absorb?
We can just sit here until you--
Fine!
Give me the fucking dart!
Go easy, Wes.
Go easy with a nuclear attack?
Look where you're throwing.
I'll show you go easy.
Ah!
[WHIRRING]
Oh shit.
[BLAST]
[MISSILE ROARS]
Where's it going?
To wherever the factory preset is, I guess.
Which is where?
Uh--
[CLICKING]
The Kremlin.
[ALARM SOUNDS]
Guys, over here.
How is it?
I'm too thirsty to care.
[SLURPING]
What the-- so this is the apocalypse, eh?
Pretty manageable.
The reality is never as bad, is it?
It's the not knowing that causes the anxiety.
The world is destroying itself, Greg.
True.
But on the plus side, my stress is gone.
I'm more relaxed than I've been for years.
Greg, if you were that stressed,
why didn't you take a week off and go to the beach?
That's a good point.
Yeah.
[GAGGING]
Yeah.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
[CRASH]
[MUSIC PLAYING]