- Hey, what's up, it's me, Jessica J.
And I was just wondering
if you've ever sat and thought to yourself,
uh, what does Jessica think about Kevin Samuels?
Well, so I'm glad you asked,
'cause this was a name that I was seeing
so often in my comment section
of guys wanting me to do a reaction video.
And truth be told, I had never heard of him before.
I wasn't familiar with him in the dating space.
And after I did look him up, I honestly wasn't sure
if he was a dating coach for men or women.
I was just a little,
I think he was more of a lifestyle coach.
So I kind of put it to the side.
Also, his videos are like an hour, two hours long.
So I was like, ugh, fuck, I don't know if I can do that.
However, I just found a video
called, "We are Educated and Make Money, Why do Need Men?"
I think it's supposed to say, why do we need men?
And that really caught my eye.
It's only five minutes long.
So I thought, you know what?
This is a really good, I think that's a really good topic.
I hear so many women say it and think it all the time.
I've been guilty of saying it and thinking it.
But you know, I already know
that we're wired for connection.
We're wired for love.
We're meant to be together.
We're meant to want something with somebody else.
We're a collective species.
And so, yeah, I'm gonna do a reaction video.
Again, I know nothing about the guy.
I've never seen this video before.
So I'm just gonna give you my in the moment response
to what I think about him and the video.
And to make sure you never miss out
on another opportunity to see what I have to say
about what the other people in this space have to say,
or another one of my videos,
don't forget to hit the subscribe button
with the notification bell.
Carion, I can hear your eating.
(baby talking) (snapping)
Okay, so without further ado, let's get started on this guy.
- So. - What's your disagreement.
- My disagreement is just basically
about the fact that black women shouldn't have to feel
obligated to smile to black men.
We're holding a lot of trauma.
We're holding a lot of problems.
- How old are you. - Mental health issues.
- Oh, hold on, hold on, hold on.
How old are you. - 24.
- I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna say this one more time.
I need you to pay attention.
I need all black women pay attention.
The world does not owe you understanding,
or me understanding.
If you have all this trauma, go seek professional help,
because. - Gonna stop it right there.
They are obviously referencing black women, black men.
I clearly can't speak to that experience.
However, I do already agree with him
basically voicing, listen, nobody owes you anything.
Nobody owes you understanding.
It's hard enough to even understand ourselves,
let alone have to understand other people.
We really don't fuckin' owe it to anybody.
And if you do have traumas,
you absolutely should be fucking taking care of it.
Even if you don't have traumas,
if you are at a point in your life
where you are causing pain
to either yourself or other people, and you're sick of it,
you should absolutely be in therapy.
And you know what, that's fuckin' everybody.
We should all be in therapy.
So let's continue.
- 'Cause the rest of us do not have to suffer you.
- Okay, it's easy to tell black women and black people.
- Do you not.
- In the Black community to get help.
- Whose responsibility is it to get the help they need?
- But it's not available readily to our community.
- That is bullshit.
- You know what, I really love that he's just,
he's coming down hard on this girl, and I appreciate it.
I hear so many excuses.
And you know what?
It's the number one reason men drop out of working with me
is when I tell them that like, listen,
you need to be in therapy for this
if you and I are gonna be able
to continue to grow with one another.
They're like, ugh, I just wanted to know how
to like fuckin' make women wet with my words.
And I'm just like, all right, dude,
but if you're still a piece of shit,
or if you're still an insecure motherfucker,
or if you're still terrified of making a move,
nothing I tell you is gonna help you.
I love how hard he's coming down on her
in regards to not letting her get away with excuses
she's making for ourselves.
I think too many of us make excuses
as to why we're not able to grow,
why we're not able to be accountable
for the shitty ways we're treating people
or shitty ways we're treating ourselves.
So I really appreciate him already.
I'm glad you guys put me onto this man.
- Who's responsible. - With the (murmuring).
- Who's responsibility is it
to get the mental help they need?
Who?
- It is ultimately the responsibility of us
to get the mental health that we need.
But I'm letting you know that we are very underserved.
- You can't make this stuff up.
Until you say we're underserved,
you gotta tell me that the therapists
that are already exist are overloaded.
We don't go get help, man.
We just had a therapist on here before.
I taught the psychiatrist, and I.
First of all, understand who you're talking to.
I know hundreds of, anyway.
What do black people tend to deal with?
How do black people tend,
black women tend to deal with their mental health issues?
With a licensed clinician or with Jesus?
- That is what's pushed to us since.
- No, no, no, no. - From the age.
Like, we are little. - No, no, ma'am.
- That's something we grow up with.
- No, I asked who, now see, I asked who they?
See, we're not gonna play.
I'm not gonna play the lily pad game.
Do they go to a clinician or do they go to the church?
- The church most often.
- All right, and these are educated,
most of these women are educated.
And they've heard about therapy.
They make the choice not to go.
No different than, I'm gonna switch it up.
No different than women understand and hear
that being 200 pounds and five foot tall is unhealthy.
But yet 80% of our women are overweight,
and 80% of that is obese.
They know the truth.
They choose to do something else.
- And the narrative pushed to us most often
is that a guy wants a woman with a big ass.
He wants, you know, a thick lady.
- Accountability is kryptonite to modern women.
- Damn, he really said accountability
is kryptonite to modern women.
I think accountability is kryptonite to fuckin' any of us.
It's so easy to look at somebody else
and be like, you're the fuckin' problem, not me.
It's so easy to say, I'm not the problem.
I just have a busy work week or a very demanding schedule.
Or my parents made me like this.
Get comfortable with accountability.
- Ma'am, you said the traumas?
If I accept them, then you gotta do something about them.
Because what about the traumas
that the black man has to deal with?
But we still have to get out here
and be functioning people in society, contributing.
You don't get to walk around and say.
You don't get to walk around and say,
have a special victim status.
- I'm not saying we should have a special victim status,
but our circumstance is different.
We are women, we feel.
- Is you, oh, okay. - We are less likely.
- You're 24 years old.
Is your circumstance harder or easier
than your grandmother and your great-grandmother?
- Exponentially easier.
We have access to information we didn't have.
- Exponentially easier, but you're handling it worse.
Your grandmother and your great-grandmother
actually did the work with a black man with more trauma.
- Because they understood
that the black woman and the black man are on the same side.
Now that we are all free and independent
and we could do whatever we want to,
why would we seek to, you know, be one with the black men?
We need to think that. - Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, thank you.
Clip it, slice it, put it on WorldStar.
She said it, not me.
- Ain't know what she said it right there,
why she kind of shot herself in the foot,
why would we seek to be one with the black man?
There is so, and I see it so much in my comments,
I see it so much from people who follow my stuff,
this idea of us versus them.
And it sounds like that's very much
where she's coming from right now.
And it's funny, 'cause he's kinda coaching her.
But I see, I hear her excuses
in the subscribers I have and the comments I see,
this idea of why would we want to be one with women?
Women are like this.
Women are the enemy.
You know, the whole MGTOW crew.
That's basically, we want nothing to do with women.
They're awful for you.
She's basically saying the same thing about herself,
and why would I try to be one with black men?
Or why would we women, we black women,
try to be one with black men?
Any type of divisive perspective you have going in,
it's gonna fuck you over in the long run.
And until you work with that in yourself,
you can't imagine how awful your dating life could be
for the rest of your life if you don't work on it.
I have so many girlfriends, I have so many guy friends,
who operate with that mentality of us versus them.
Men versus women.
And then they wonder why they're getting shat on.
They wonder why they're attracting these awful people,
these awful circumstances.
You do not attract who you want.
You attract who you are.
So if you are this person who comes in
with this divisive ass attitude, us versus them,
the world against me, woe is me.
I deserve better than this, but all that is beneath me.
Then guess what?
You're gonna attract some
miserable shit into your life, period.
That's just the name of the game.
- Now that you're independent, you don't need to be with.
- We don't have trust. - There you go.
- We don't have trust in the black men.
And there you go, and there you go.
There you go, black man.
There it is.
She's finally, we finally got one to say it.
- Build businesses with us.
Help us not.
- Your grandmothers, and your grandmothers,
and your great-grandmothers had more trauma
and more stress and did it better.
They have exponentially less, and they're handling it worse.
But it's because they're free.
They can do what the hell they want to.
They don't need to be with.
So you don't need to feel any guilt for taking care of you,
for putting yourself first,
and making your passion, your purpose, your priority.
You don't need to feel guilty
because this 24 year old woman just said it.
They have no, they don't feel any guilt about it.
Thank you.
- Okay, I will say right now that she's the type of woman
that a lot of guys on this channel
absolutely complain about.
The modern woman, the entitled woman.
And you know what?
I really feel for you guys,
because for as divisive as y'all can be against us,
you know a lot of men are, or a lot of women
are that much more hateful, especially nowadays.
I feel like, you know, people always cringe
when I say I'm a feminist, but I believe in men.
Feminists believe that men deserve rights as well.
Men deserve paid maternity leave as well.
Men deserve to have a say
in whether or not a woman keeps a baby.
That's what type of feminist I am.
I don't believe in bringing men down
in order to bring women up.
I believe that we women are absolutely entitled
to rights and being valued
and being able to make decisions for ourselves.
And there are women like this lovely lady
who harbor a cynicism against men, because we are women.
And because we had a shit time of it for a long time.
It was a very recent, you know,
it's very new that it is illegal for you to beat your wife.
In the '50s it was okay.
I think in the '60s, it was all right too.
You know, that's our parents' ages.
So God, what do I have to say about this?
I get it, trust me, I get it.
I have plenty of girlfriends that are like this,
that think men have to like, you know,
come over on their hands and knees
in order to prove that they're worthy.
And you know what?
You just don't have to mess with women like that.
And I promise not all women are like that.
I'm gonna cry because not all women are like that.
And you know, I know not all of you guys
are like that as well.
And it comes from a place of pain.
I talked about you don't need to understand other people,
at least understand yourself.
But at least understand your pain
and what you're willing to do about it.
Because if you're not willing to do shit about it,
then don't expect anything else
to be different in your life.
So with that said, obviously I got a point
on my Speak to Spark Arousal System, where I do, oops,
where I do talk about how to gain back
your power and your perspective
and that pedestal that you should be on, not us women,
to get and keep the women that are deserving of you.
Again, Speak to Spark Arousal at speaktosparkarousal.com.
Thanks for watching as always, guys.
And I'll see you next time.