[ALARM]
MALE SPEAKER: Ow.
Why?
Guys, I got shot.
I got shot from space.
[BEEPING]
DARBY: Hey, guys.
Sorry.
I slept in.
Here's that part you need.
The giant laser's on.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
MIKE: Check it out.
It's an old medic tech droid.
Almost mint condition.
What are you doing, man?
You should get a tractor beam.
Tons of cool stuff in the debris field.
DARBY: I'm in enough trouble already.
You know how embarrassing it is for the Empire, blowing up
a planet behind schedule?
MIKE: Oh, yeah.
I heard Dark Lord was pissed.
What was the official story?
DARBY: Subspace interference.
MIKE: Best excuse ever.
DARBY: I don't think anyone bought it.
They've got me cleaning the garbage mashers on the
detention level.
MIKE: Oh, man.
That detention level garbage monster is the worst.
Thinks dunking people in garbage
juice is just hilarious.
DARBY: And he hates your bounty hunter fan fiction too.
MIKE: That guy's a dick.
DROID: Main attack.
Why did you destroy my planet?
MIKE: Hey, it works.
DARBY: Mike, you shouldn't go pulling junk out
of the debris field.
It's against the rules.
MIKE: There's something jammed in here.
PRINCESS: General Bonobo, years ago you served my father
in the Clones War.
Those were dark times.
Best forgotten.
DARBY: She's beautiful.
PRINCESS: And what happened then should definitely be left
to the imagination.
MIKE: She's got one good angle.
Check her out over here.
PRINCESS: Don't even get me started with the Trade
Federation.
Today my father needs your help--
DARBY: Oh.
PRINCESS: With his struggle against the Empire.
I have placed information vital to the survival of the
rebellion within the memory system of this droid.
It contains the weaknesses--
MIKE: Wait.
Look at that.
DARBY: It's the rebel plan to attack the station.
Wonder if our side knows about this.
MIKE: Yeah.
Forget about that.
Look.
The first rebel wing is headed straight for us.
That's where we live.
DARBY: Oh man, who would have thought living on top of the
shield generators was a bad idea.
We've got to put in for a transfer today.
MIKE: Yeah.
One problem with that though.
Guess who's in charge of ship quarters.
DARBY: It's Brad, right?
MIKE: Yeah, obviously, it's Brad.
BRAD: A transfer?
Do you guys know how hard I worked to get you in the worst
room in the station?
Why would I give you a transfer?
How is that radiation from the shield generator
treating you anyway?
MIKE: We actually like the constant humming.
DARBY: It helps put us to sleep.
BRAD: Well, you guys must be pretty desperate to come into
my office, ask me for a transfer.
My office with a window.
Luxury.
I can see space.
Look.
Bottom line is, guys, this transfer thing is not going to
happen, ever.
Especially since I heard that you sabotaged a planetary
annihilation this morning.
That wouldn't be rebel blood pumping through your
veins, would it?
Yeah, rebel.
[SHOOTING NOISES]
DARBY: What do you want, Brad?
BRAD: What do I want?
How about a date with LN-6?
DARBY: Well, is she available, because me and her
are just on a break?
MIKE: I thought she broke up with you?
DARBY: Yeah.
Broke up with me.
So that's a break.
We broke into a break.
MIKE: That's not how that works.
DARBY: It's basically the same word.
BRAD: Look here, dingle dongs.
You want a transfer.
I want a date with LN-6.
MIKE: It's over between you two.
You need to move along.
DARBY: OK.
Suppose we even did ask Elle to help us.
There's no way she'd do it.
She hates Brad.
MIKE: There's another way.
Go to the exam room and get a neural interface.
DARBY: OK.
Where are you going?
MIKE: I'm going to take a quick nap.
But I have a plan.
I'm excited.
DARBY: Hey, you think LN-9's going to mind that we
borrowed her body?
MIKE: No.
She's upgrading for at least the next two weeks.
By the time she downloads to her original body, I'll have
everything back the way it was.
DARBY: Wow.
Does she ever look like Elle.
MIKE: Yeah, that's what I was saying.
All LN units are the same.
OK.
Try again.
DARBY AND LN-9: Is it working?
Sweet.
DARBY: Check it out.
It's just like using my own body.
DARBY AND LN-9: This is going to be the best date ever.
MIKE: All right.
BRAD: You look great tonight.
LN-9: Your muscles look great tonight.
I sure do love muscles on a dude.
BRAD: You can check them out later.
LN-9: For sure.
BRAD: So what else do you like?
LN-9: I also like dicks.
I don't mean dicks like a dick.
I mean dicks like an asshole.
I love assholes, and everyone thinks you are one.
MIKE: Don't mess this up.
It's our only chance.
DARBY: Don't worry.
I know how Brad thinks.
BRAD: You talk dirty.
I like that.
LN-9: We like a lot of the same stuff.
We're totally compatible.
Hey, so why did you get Darby to set us up?
Are you going to do that thing he wanted?
BRAD: Did Darby really set us up?
LN-9: Oh, I've got to take a wicked piss.
Can you cover for me?
BRAD: I don't know what that means.
MIKE: I mean can you take my order for me.
'Cause that makes sense now.
DARBY: Huge save.
MIKE: Uh-oh.
DARBY: What?
MIKE: Oh yeah, for sure.
Have a seat.
LN-6: LN-9, I thought you were on upgrade.
LN-9: I'm not LN-9.
I'm LN-6.
What LN are you?
LN-6: What's going on here?
BRAD: I know what's going on here.
Word got out that I wanted to date you, and LN-9 wanted to
date me so bad she's pretending to be you.
LN-6: Really?
9 wanted a date with you?
BRAD: Yeah, and I'm sorry 6, but I like 9 way better.
LN-9: Darb this is great.
Yeah, we're a shoo-in for new quarters.
Oh god, I hope we don't have to bang him.
Oh, yeah, that'd be gross.
Banging a dude.
You're wearing the helmet for that one.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
PUPPET 1: Oh, well, hi there.
PUPPET 2: We're here to tell you about a new show coming to
Geek & Sundry.
PUPPET 3: From a couple of guys called Paul and Storm.
PUPPET 4: They take over a kid show called "Learningtown."
PUPPET 3: That sounds nice.
PUPPET 2: Yeah.
And according to this synopsis here the show will have catchy
songs, confetti, crazy costumes, bright colors,
princesses, sausage parties, bus crushes, fires, homeless
people, and puppet deaths.
[SCREAMING]
PUPPET 2: Yeah, it says puppet deaths.
PUPPET 1: That's not in my contract.
PUPPET 3: There's a doctor for my blood pressure.
PUPPET 4: My kids.