There are 24 hours in a day but no matter what,
we never feel like it's enough time to get anything done.
A lot of us feel that way.
We feel pressure to never be late,
or when we do, oh God it's like unforgivable
and it's something we struggle with.
So, I wanna break the cycle of bad time management
to give us all a feel of control in our day,
but first let's take a look at Helen's story.
(clock ticking)
I just woke up
but somehow I already feel like I'm running late.
I need to get the kids ready for school.
I need to get myself ready for work.
So here goes another fun busy day.
I came upstairs to get my makeup done for work
and I realized that my makeup is at my office
because yesterday I had to run out so fast
that I didn't have time to do it.
The kids are all set for school,
leave at eight, their lunch is ready,
and I'm out.
(clock ticking)
I need to like be on another call in about 10 minutes.
Realized that I didn't bring any snacks with me today
but I usually order something to the office
and eat at my desk anyhow.
Today I'm lucky because I have my coffee still
from this morning
then that's gonna be my lunch for the day.
(clock ticking)
I thought I would get to come home today
by about five, 5:30, but I was running a little late.
I'm going to start making dinner
and then I'm gonna spend some time with the kids
and I will get back to work.
(clock ticking)
I've been sitting here working for the last hour and a half.
Now I'm looking around
and the whole house is a complete mess.
So I'm gonna go do the dishes and get cleaned up
and then we do it all over again.
It seems like so much got done and nothing got done.
(audience claps)
Helen, I can't even look at you.
All right, I'm gonna face you now.
And the reason why is because I cried
when I watched your video.
I so relate to so many things you said.
Do you feel like an overall weight in your life
about time management?
You know, I run my own law practice
and I have two kids in elementary school
and I'm on the PTA and I'm class mom
and there's always no time.
There's never time.
I mean, it's just an, it's always stressful.
The pressure is on me to get everything done.
And yeah, there's always a weight
that hangs over you that, did I get this done?
Did I get this for my son?
Did I do this for the school?
Did I do this for work?
There's always that weight.
Well, see, when I'm talking to you,
I can see you so objectively.
I'm like, listen, maybe you don't need to be on the PTA.
Maybe you're just a working mom
and that's already infinite boxes to check.
And maybe there's stuff that can come off the table.
When I say that, how does, what goes on in your head?
I want to do everything.
Aha! Okay.
You know, it's almost like I'm a glutton for punishment.
Okay. So how do you break the cycle
of feeling overwhelmed
and daunted by everything you have to do
and start forgiving yourself?
I don't know.
I just...
The things I do, I wanna do.
I love my job and I love my kids
and I love being there for them and being active.
So how do I break the cycle?
That's one of my biggest struggles.
'Cause when I watch your video, I do sense a weight.
Like it's not, like, you're not light as a feather about it.
You're like, this is heavy stuff that I'm grappling with.
And if you're piling it all on the plate,
then you either have to take some stuff off the plate
or start feeling fortified about all your choices.
And I wanna tell you, like, lighten up,
like, feel good about it,
you're being amazing.
Look at all that you're doing.
Like, (finger snap) screw it.
You should be patting yourself on the back.
Yeah. Some days you do.
And then most days you're just making it through. (laughs)
So how do you break the cycle?
You know, I don't know.
I feel like maybe it is lightening up the load a little bit,
but I think that the cycle keeps going
if you want to do all those things.
I wanna do it all too.
I really do.
Like at no point in my life.
I started working when I was in diapers.
So, I hope at some point I am in diapers, still working.
(audience laughs)
Yes, that's right.
I started there, I plan to end there
and yet I haven't changed certain behaviors in my life
that might lead to better time management.
And when I say lighten up,
I mean if you're gonna make all these choices
then just be lighter about it,
leave the plate heavy.
Do you think you can do that?
Yeah. I mean, I try to lighten up
but some days you're just,
you just, can't.
Like at the end of the day, you're like,
I need to do this, I need to do that.
What did I accomplish?
You feel pulled down by all the choices you made
and boxes you have to check.
Right.
So, do you think your time management issue
is more about making peace
with all that you've put on your plate
rather than being on time to every appointment?
Yeah, possibly.
I'm hard on myself.
I feel like I look back and I say
I wanna be the best at my job.
I wanna be the best mom.
I wanna be the best wife.
I mean, you know, like you wanna be the best
in everything you do
and it's hard to be the best in everything.
Something takes a toll eventually.
Where does best measure up to you?
Where does the source of what's best?
I just, I guess it's probably just the way I was raised.
I think that my parents,
I'm first generation American
my parents came from Russia
and they had to work, work, work, work, work,
you know, to always do their best.
And the best was always expected of me, you know?
'Cause they didn't come here for nothing
as my dad would say. (laughs)
So I always had to do, do, do.
And I guess that transfers over into now.
Trying to be the best in everything, so.
I see a pattern.
Like I see a burning fire
and mine is because my parents were the exact opposite.
Like they, you know, they were so Bohemian
that it turned me into the other direction.
Like it lit some type of fire of accountability
and work as my parent
and something that was incredibly structured.
I definitely need to know
how to not be five minutes late every time
but I wanna be five minutes early
and like be able to waste time
and luxury in time.
I totally feel you.
The struggle is real. (laughs)
With the time, with the clock
I'm always, what time is it?
What time is it?
My six year old gets annoyed with me.
I feel like I'm not usually happy with the result too.
Like it's, usually my reaction to time is like,
(screams) it's what?
It's never like, oh cool, it's that?
Whew! Got ya.
I'm literally like, I'm screwing up again.
Is what time it is.
(upbeat music)