- Is there such a thing as love at first sight?
What about true love?
A lot of us grow up reading fairytales
with magical encounters and happy endings,
but are those things written
to come true for you in this life?
And if you don't find that relationship here,
what does that say about your divine decree?
Is there such a thing as soulmates in Islam?
Remember that hadith of the
Prophet SallAllahu'Alaihi Wasallam
where he said Al Arwha janoodun mujanada,
that souls are like conscripted soldiers?
There's actually a really beautiful story behind it.
A'isha radiAllahu ta'ala Anha says that there was
this woman in Makkah, that used to make everybody laugh,
so she was the jokester of every gathering.
And then when they made Hijra from Makkah to Madinah,
she meets a woman in Madinah that's exactly like her,
that makes everybody laugh in Madinah.
And the people were stunned at how similar they were.
And when they mentioned that
to the Prophet SallAllahu'Alaihi Wasallam,
he said Al Arwah janoodun mujanada,
souls are like conscripted soldiers.
They incline towards one another,
based upon this natural affinity.
So is there a romantic manifestation of that?
Well, there is a scholar that said to his wife once
that isn't it amazing that 50,000 years
before Allah introduced the heavens and the earth,
he put your name down next to mine.
Wa min Aayaatiheee an khalaqa lakum min anfusikum azwajaa
litaskunooo ilaihaa
wa ja'ala bainakum mawad datanw wa rahmah
inna fee zaalika la Aayaatil liqawminy yatafakkaroon
And of his signs is that He created for you
mates from amongst yourselves,
that you can dwell with in tranquility.
And He placed love and mercy between you.
And in that is a sign for people who reflect.
And when you meet someone, you can be
so sure that that's the one.
And there are multiple ways that love starts
and multiple layers to love.
And it can certainly start with
what seems like an organic spark.
And Imam Al Hazm Rahimahullah said ,
AlHub awaloo hazlun wa akhiroho jad
that love starts off as something very playful
and then it proceeds to something very serious.
He goes on to say that its meanings
are too profound to be described.
Its reality can only be understood by experience.
And he says, love is not blameworthy
in our religion, nor is it forbidden
because every heart is in Allah's hands.
So love itself is a test.
And it's not fully in your control,
especially the falling in love part.
It's something that,
Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'Aala decrees in your heart
And as long as you don't transgress the boundaries
and you pursue it in a wholesome and halal way,
then you can enjoy the blessing of this decree
within the sanctity of marriage.
inna fee zaalika la Aayaatil liqawminy yasma'oon
Indeed in that are signs for people who reflect.
And the scholars mentioned that there
are signs of Allah's names and attributes
that don't exist anywhere in this world,
like they do between two spouses.
There are unique signs of Allah's love
as he is Al-Wadud, the most loving,
and unique signs of Allah's Rahma, His mercy,
as He is Ar-Rahman, that exists
within the capacity of a marriage.
Now when you look at the Seerah
of the Prophet SallAllahu 'Alaihi Wasallam,
you have multiple love stories.
Some of them are beautiful, others are tragic,
and many of them are complicated.
You have the story of Muhajir ummu Khais,
this man who makes Hijra from Makkah to Madinah,
not out of seeking Allah's love
or trying to escape persecution,
but all because he wanted to marry a woman.
And that literally becomes his name,
the man who migrated for Ummu Khais.
Now, you'll notice that the
Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasalam
doesn't condemn him for that,
but he simply says that you can't claim
the reward of Hijra if you did this for marriage.
And then you have other stories.
You have the story of Bareerah radiAllahu ta'ala Anha, a
woman that was freed from slavery by A'isha radiAllahu Anha.
And when she was freed from slavery,
she chose to free herself from her husband,
who was Mugheeth RadiAllahu Anhu.
And in Madinah you had the scene
of Mugheeth going behind Barerrah,
begging her not to leave him.
And it was painful for people to watch,
to the point that the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam,
in his mercy, feels so sorry for Mugheeth.
And he says to his uncle Abbas,
isn't it astonishing how much Mugheeth loves her
and how much Barerrah hates him?
And the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam,
felt so bad for him
that he goes to Barerrah and says
will you not take him back?
And she said Ya RasulAllah,
are you commanding me to do so?
Or are you simply interceding?
And the Prophet SallAllahu Alahi Wasallam said no,
I'm just interceding.
And she says, I have no need for him, Ya RasulAllah.
Now the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam
had so much sympathy for Mugheeth,
but he didn't wanna force them together
just because Mugheeth, really loved her.
He was going through heartbreak,
and the solution was simply for him to move on
because they weren't meant to be.
As much as love is based on your desire,
it's also based on your destiny.
Your love story was written by Allah in the heavens
before you both even came to this world.
Allah created your love,
and created the means for your love.
And Imam Al Hazm Rahimullah outlines over 15 reasons
why people fall in love.
He talks about physical beauty and temperaments
and character and wealth and family
and all sorts of things.
But then he says the most noble love is,
Muhabatin mutahabina fil Allah, love for the sake of Allah.
And he specifically says that it could be
bi ijtihadi fil amal, because of a similar passion
for righteous work that two people are both engaged in.
And the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said
lum naralil mutaha beena mislan nikah,
that I know nothing better
for two people that love each other than to get married.
And he also said, people get married for various reasons,
but look for religion and character.
Those are the intangible forms of beauty
that will keep a couple together for all of eternity.
Now, that doesn't mean that other factors
aren't important, and in fact even part of love,
but they can't form the foundation of it.
And Mugheerah bin Shuba RadiAllahu Anhu said I asked a woman
in marriage, and Rasool Allah SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam
said to me, Hal Nadhartha ilaiha
did you go look at her?
And when I said I had not,
the Prophet SallAllahu Alahi Wasallam said,
fandhur Ilaiha fainna hu ahra unyouda ma bainakuma,
then go look at her
because it is better that there should be love between you.
But with all of that being said,
two people can seem like a perfect fit
and can have all the same passions
and want to do everything right,
but for some reason Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'Aala
just didn't want it to happen in this dunya.
And being attached to a person,
or the idea of a person, can be
incredibly intoxicating, or debilitating.
Romance is just like rizq, it's not something
everyone is going to have in this dunya.
And we are to be content with what Allah has decreed,
even if that means I have to wait for my spouse
in Jannah, where the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said
laysa fil jannati a'azab,
no one in going to be single in Jannah.
But if it hasn't been decreed for you
in this dunya, that doesn't make your worth any less.
Asiya Alayhi Salaam, a perfect woman,
was married to the worst human being
that ever walked the face of the earth, Firaun .
Maryam Alayhimus Salaam, the greatest woman of her time
and all time, never even got married.
And there are many scholars in our ummah,
the forerunners of our ummah, who never got married.
And they used their time and their focus
to become the legends of their time.
In fact, the late Abd al-Fattah Abu Ghudda Rahimullah
wrote this amazing book called
Al ulema al ouzaab aladhina athur al-ilm ala azwaaj,
the scholars who were single
that preferred their knowledge to marriage.
And he lists 20 scholars in Islamic history
who never got married, the likes of
Imam Al-Tabari Rahimullah,and Imam Al-Nawawi Rahimullah
Ibn Tammiyah, al-Zamakhshari
or even the famous Rabi'a al-Adawiyya.
May Allah be pleased with them all.
Now, these scholars were not avoiding marriage,
but they understood that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala
did not decree that for them.
And many scholars said that the reason
why they were able to achieve what they achieved
is perhaps because they didn't have those families.
And instead, they left behind their books as their children.
And look what happened.
All of their students became their kin,
through the sacred chain of knowledge.
Now that doesn't mean it's either knowledge or marriage,
or it's either worship or marriage,
or it's either charity or marriage,
or it's either volunteering or marriage.
That means that just like other forms of rizq,
if Allah Subhan wa Ta'ala has delayed it
or denied it, it still opens you up
to other forms of pleasing Allah Subhan wa Ta'ala,
and other chapters to your amazing story of divine decree.
And it might be that that soulmate
is still out there in this world.
At one moment Abu Huraira RadiAllahu ta'ala Anhu,
couldn't get married due to his poverty.
And he comes to the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam
while he was still complaining.
And the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam was silent,
as he repeated his complaint three times.
Then the Prophet SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam said
Ya Abu Huraira.
Jafal qalamo be'ma anta laaq
Oh Abu Huraira,
The pen has dried, with what you are going to find.
And eventually Allah Subhan wa Ta'ala opened that path
for Abu Huraira, years later, but on his time.
So when is our time? Only Allah knows.
You know, SubhanAllah, some of the narrations
mentioned that 'Isa Allahi Salaam,
Jesus peace be upon him.
Will get married, after he descends again to this earth.
So it would've taken him thousands of years
to have his soulmate in this life.
Where is yours? Here or there?
You don't know.
But just know that Al-Wadud hasn't forgotten you.
Al-Latif is subtle, and has a sight on your perfect match.
Mun dhana infika ka lutfihi an qadarihi
Fa dhalika li qasoori nazri hi.
Whoever supposes that his loving kindness
is separate from his ordaining decree
does so out of his own shortsightedness.
Sometimes we don't make it any easier on ourselves.
We let our minds fantasize and imagine a life
that may or may not come true.
But we start to build an emotional connection
to this idea in our head.
And having our minds filled with endless fantasies
can only make us fall that much harder
when our actual Qadar reveals itself to us,
in a way we didn't wish.
Things don't always work out the way
that we imagined for ourselves.
Our heart could long for something,
or someone, that wasn't meant for us.
And they were meant to still be a part of your story.
but perhaps not in the way you'd hoped.
Allah has more for you,
stored up in a future that you haven't yet even anticipated.
Captioning provided by MUHSEN (www.muhsen.org)
Qul lany-yuseebanaaa
illaa maa katabal laahu lanaa Huwa mawlaanaa;
wa 'alal laahi fal yatawakka lil mu'minoon
Captioning provided by MUHSEN (www.muhsen.org)