September is suicide Prevention
Awareness Month and all month long
we are bringing stories of hope
along with education and resources.
This week I spoke to Kristen Christy
who is the epitome of resilience.
Kristen lost her husband to suicide
and it had a profound ripple
effect throughout her family.
But she has persevered with hope.
Here is Kristen story.
It was, you know, 17
years of marriage and four moves with
the military. He was in the Air Force.
And two wonderful boys and one deployment.
And I will tell you that one deployment
PTS post traumatic stress was a stowaway in
his bags coming home and and we hear about
it as military spouses pre deployment
during deployment post deployment.
That our our military member may come back
different and and sure enough Don did.
His fingernails were bitten down to the nubs,
he was more reserved than typical.
He was an officer.
He was a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force.
When he went to Iraq,
he was second in command of the
Baghdad airport and didn't tell
us much about his deployment.
We heard the the fun stuff like
the USO tours when Ted Nugent
and Toby Keith came through,
really didn't share with the family what?
He had gone through and he
just couldn't express that,
and I'm unfortunately four
years after the deployment.
After things just progressed downwards.
We had that doorbell ring well and I
think what a lot of people tend to not
realize is the ripple effect that
something like this can have.
I mean, on you both your
sons were young, right?
What kind of effect did
this have on your family?
You're right, the ripple effect
that's that's the phrase that I use
for the choice that Don made our
sons Ryan was 14 and Ben was 12.
Ryan unfortunately,
has been missing for 2176 days.
20 September 2015 was the last time
I saw him. What I have been told,
and I'm not a counselor.
Kristen, I am.
I feel like a subject
matter expert in overcoming.
But what I have been told by Ryan's doctors
is the suicide triggered bipolar in Ryan.
Early bipolar typically presents in
the mid or early to mid 20s and he
was 16 when he was diagnosed and got
into heroin and drugs and and came
out of that and started his own business,
but has been missing for almost
six years now and Ryan Ben,
our youngest son was 12.
And both kids have attempted
suicide and the night that Ben
attempted was his 20th birthday.
And I received a voicemail from
him at 1:30 in the morning.
My phone was off.
I don't turn my phone off anymore,
but five years ago I received a
very powerful voicemail that still
to this day just rocks my world.
Dad.
It is so powerful to hear the pain
and the sadness and the cry for help.
How is your family doing now?
How is I know you once
I'm how is Ben doing now?
How are you doing now?
I have found my passion.
And purpose Mark Twain has said
there are two days and important days
and everyone's life the day they're
born and the day they find out why.
And I have realized that I've gone
through adversities that have created
and grown perseverance and and patience,
which has grown my character and.
And because of that character, there's hope.
And because there's hope for tomorrow,
there's power and today,
and so I use our story.
As a beacon of hope,
hopefully for other people to one
understand the consequences of suicide.
It's hard when you have that veil of
darkness, but when someone or people,
your community can come alongside
and help you through that.
Now I say this is an emotional battlefield.
We all go through an emotional battlefield.
We don't know what each other is.
Is battling on a daily basis
and when we can arm ourselves.
With hope and with community and be a
battle buddy or wingman for each other,
it just helps us get through life.
Life is not easy.
No, it is not. No, it is
not. And so when we can come together,
we're stronger together.
But sometimes we have to
make the hard decisions.
If someone in our sphere
of influence is in crisis.
We have to make that hard
decision to look him in the eye.
And ask the question that we are
so afraid to ask because we're
afraid they're going to say yes.
And what do we do then?
But are you thinking of taking your life?
Are you thinking of suicide?
And if they say yes,
arm yourself with the resources
available with the National
Suicide Prevention hotline.
There are resources in every
community that you live in,
and the best time to find those resources
are when we're in a good place.
What an incredible woman.
Incredible story and that family.
Kristen has worked for years to change the
suicide hotline to a three digit number.
Now that actually takes effect
next year, they got it done.
Until then though,
here is the number for the national
Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
It is there for you and your
loved ones 24/7 365 days a year.