The love must be present I feel. Sure. Like that if you can hold on to the love that you felt for your child
when you first saw him or her and that that magic that occurs if you can hold on to the memory of that at least.
Fortunately, the filmmakers of this generation unlike the filmmakers of my generation are able to see beyond stars.
What happened to Deepti Naval, what happened to Pankaj Kapur, where did they get the parts?
where what happened to Paresh Rawal? What a brilliant actor. He had to go to in the commercial
cinema before he got any parts right?
But sometimes it's best to leave something where it is. I don't think Sarabhai two was quite the same as Sarabhai one.
How can we make films like Kabir Singh now what are we saying I mean Shammi Kapoor used to tease Asha Parekh and she went you stupid.
Today I’m going to speak to someone whose show I watch every day while having lunch.
Her work onstage, films and TV has been celebrated all over the world and I am extremely excited to welcome
Ratna Pathak Shah to Pinkvilla. Ma'am thank you for doing this with us.
Most welcome and thank you for having me on this show.
It's such a beautiful word now whenever we hear the word mom there's a smile on our face automatically isn't it ?
Yes, for the most part yes. Mothers can be nice and dramatic I bet Monisha wouldn't smile if you said the word mom in front of her.
But you know ma'am you have played a variety of mothers on screen and you know right from
Maya Sarabhai, the rich mother-in-law and the mother in Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai. Then of course there's this
royal mother in Khoobsurat, then there is a single mother in Golmaal 3, there was buaji in Lipstick
Under My Burka who had a very different character than anything that you've played on screen
before. Then there was a mother in Kapoor And Sons who was dealing with infidelity and of course
then there was Thappad where there was this beautiful arc of her mother who initially tells her
daughter to adjust and then sides with her and understands her dilemma. These are all very kind of mothers that have played
You forgot the first mother that got me attention that was Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na.
Of course, Imran’s mother you played there which was again a very modern character who spoke in more or less the same language that her children use so
Yes, I mean I’ve never realized it but I’ve had a quite an interesting graph as mothers oh you forgot
my lovely Love Per Square Foot yes Christian mother so yes lots of mothers usually mothers of sons
I had two sons in Filmi Chakkar, I had two sons in Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai, Kapoor and Sons I had two, even in Lipstick Under My Burkha I had two nephews not son and I have had so few daughters
Except Taapsee in Thappad.
Also, in Love Per Square Foot which is why I like that film so much because that was probably one of
the first time is played yeah probably the first when I had a daughter in the world so it was a very
interesting experience to have a relationship like that with a younger girl rather than young men well
all the various kinds of moms they have been changing quite dramatically over the years and when
did I first get offered that I suppose when my hair started turning grey, wrinkles. I never got roles as a
heroine in any movie. I was always in the background usually a mom even if a mom of a younger person.
Like you said when you were not getting parts to play heroine but when you got these parts
did you did you like these parts or did you take them because you where you were look out for a
I very much like these parts because for once I realized that they were doing a different kind
of mother. A mother who was a human being not just a symbol. Oh, you are here. Come, sit.
Let me get you some parathas, why mothers are always keen on feeding their sons parathas
I don't know that's what they always do in Hindi movies so yes so it was a relief to get
mothers who were not stereotypical and more important than that it was a relief to get
mothers who are not unhappy or miserable being treated badly. You know my own mother
Dina, she was an actress also an actor did a lot of Gujarat plays and I’m afraid she those
plays were horrible there were melodramas all of them and in which she was either playing a
poor wife who was suffering with a wicked mother-in-law or she was a mother-in-law who
was suffering because of a wicked daughter-in-law my poor mother just suffered in all her roles on stage largely but even in cinema.
Like you said Dinaji has done a lot of plays in Guajarati and she has done a lot of work in TV
and films as well. Was she happy with the kind of work that was coming her way? Like you said the kind of roles
No worthy no but she had to keep herself going. Mom was not the sort of person who would
be able to sit at home and do nothing just be a housewife so there was no question of that
and later on it gave her and she was an independent working woman all her life she wanted
to be like that she believed that every woman must be able to support herself and she
passed on that message very clearly to Supriya and me that don't think that just because
you happen to be girls you're going to get married and live off somebody else no longer
responsible for yourself so find a job find a way to be employable.
Sure, but you know it also comes across a lot of times that you are also very selective of the
work that you do. Do you think that was also roadblock and why filmmakers were not approaching you?
Maybe but it's a question that I cannot answer maybe they should answer if anyone bothers to ask them but, in any case, now it's all water under the bridge.
Fortunately, the filmmakers of this generation unlike the filmmakers of my generation are
able to see beyond stars in the old days they saw stars even in the alternate film world
the art film world so-called alternative cinema, new wave cinema they also created their own
star system how many films were made without Nasir, Om, Shabana, Smitha
What happened to Deepti Naval, what happened to Pankaj Kapur, where did they get the parts?
where what happened to Paresh Rawal? What a brilliant actor. He had to go to in the commercial
cinema before he got any parts right? Weren’t we there? The time was such.
Everyone wanted stars. Commercial or the rest. Fortunately, the story has become the star now. I think that’s very useful.
Large credit goes to the audience
I would say so because the audience particularly over the last year when they have had a
huge variety of stuff to watch maybe has become a little more selective, I’m really waiting to
see what happens to all these big films that are you now sitting around waiting to be
released after the pandemic is over. Hoping the pandemic has done something good people have got sick of them.
Is there a chance we'll get to see Sarabhai vs. Sarabhai 3?
Well well but sometimes it's best to leave something where it is. I don't think Sarabhai two
was quite the same as Sarabhai one so maybe we should do something different with the
same group of people I mean it's not as if we can only do this.
You know absolutely as a mother and I’m not asking you as a screen mother as a mother what are the challenges you face in your daily life?
It's a job that you're not trained for at all it's a job which is critical most of the time particularly
in the early days when you've got this package that you don't know what to do with. I would
say the challenges became more severe as the children grew up and became their own
personalities that’s the difficult time really because you don't know how to deal with them,
they don't know how to deal with you you're moving from one stage of your life to another
they're moving from onstage of their life to another. So it's a period of great uncertainty and confusion.
Sure.
And yes, I did feel the strain at that time mainly not knowing whether you're doing the right
thing by your child. You won't want to overpower the child. You also realize that the child
needs guidance and you as an adult and since you have brought this child into the world it's
my responsibility to see to it that person my children are useful contributors to society, they
give to society not just take from it and they don't do harm to anyone that’s my job.
But are you anywhere like the modern mother you play on screen?
Do you have a very open channel of communication with your kids or there's like some kind of hesitation?
Yes that I’m very sure of is absolutely crucial the channels of communication must be open
they cannot always be comfortable you are bound to be uncomfortable, have fights, have
disagreements sometimes extremely serious ones but even after that the love must be
present I feel like sure that if you can hold onto the love that you felt for your child when you
first saw him or her and that that magic that occurs if you can hold on to the memory of that
at least and somehow look for that in this grown-up person that you were seeing in front of you it does help.
It does
That person is still there inside your child yeah that innocent baby is still there and
as long as you are there yeah, I suppose as long as the parent is there that sense of
innocence in the human being is maintained I think it is when I lost my mother finally that I
grew up in the final way you know now the bug stops with me there's nobody else beyond so yeah that's a tough one it is
You need a moment ma'am
I’m okay
Oh sorry
Yeah, it is it is they are the most beautiful people on Earth in our lives the mothers of course
Parents
Yes, in in many cases fathers don't get the opportunity actually that's what I want very much to use this chance to talk about that we treat the men in our lives very badly
Sure.
You know we force men to behave in ways that are not suitable for them always not every
man is an aggressive. macho. demanding individual you know but that's the idea of the
masculine personality that's put out in front of all of us through cinema, through books,
through parental guidance also. Once you hit your son, he will understand. So this kind
of differentiations that we make in families between a son and a daughter has enormous
impact on our personalities you know and what pressure we put on our men and what
pressure we put on our sons how we bring up our sons i mean how can mustn't we think
about this now? This is change, no. How can we have films like Kabir Singh now what are we saying?
I mean Shammi Kapoor used to tease Asha Parekh and she went you stupid and you know I mean what that was very 1970s
Yeah
In 2020
You saw Kabir Singh? I saw part of it and it made me very angry so I didn't see the whole of
it but I’m using that as an example because everyone talks about Kabir Singh when they talk
about really a poorly written masculine characters. I find that very, very
offensive but fortunately there are other films also that are made and that make people think
Thappad for example. I had a lot of men friend who came up to me after that and told me that
thank you for making this film you guys thank you for making this film because this is
important this must be said and I will agree entirely why should we push our children into
unpleasant situations by saying you must behave like this and you must behave like this so
I’m really waiting for that change to take place and it is taking place. I see so many
young men today and they are so different from
Gradually it's happening
It is going to and it will change.
How is Naseer Saab as a father at home?
Oh a very happy father he didn’t he was a little worried when we were going to have babies
turned out he had a great time and he has really quite a wonderful relationship now with our
children of course all of us have had bad times in between where we didn't understand each
other we fought a lot but he and his own father had a tough relationship so he was very keen
that with his children at least he'd maintain an openness and a sense of friendship. I
really believe in Gandhiji’s attitude towards work that we must all be able to do certain
things that are required for survival and I’m convinced of that and I have said this to my
children my daughter as well as my sons that everyone must know certain basic skills.
Cooking, compulsory. Everyone must know how to cook, everyone must know how to drive a
car, everyone must know how to do banking, everyone must know how to do taxes. These are
things that we all have to do should I say your father will get money from the bank. There are certain things that all of us must learn.
Looking after children, looking after the old, why should it be only the women's chore aren't
men capable of doing it? Only couple of jobs are restricted by our physiology, no.
Breastfeeding. You can’t breastfeed, rest everything can be done.
I agree absolutely. I feel so richer by this conversation. Ma'am thank you so much for this
lovely conversation. I really want to thank you like I said I feel richer when I spoke to you today.
Thank you my dear, thank you.
Thank you so much.