Hey, Dan here. And this is, of course, dreams around the world. And the last two videos we talked about, how do you become the best version of yourself
And then how do you make a really big change? Like, let's say, You figured out, hey, I'm not happy at this job I'm in or I'd love to move across the world or end this relationship, or maybe start this new relationship?
How do you actually make that change? In this video, the third part of this mini series, we're going to talk about what is an extraordinary life. And I want to share five components that I think are essential to creating an extraordinary life.
And the reason I think this is important is it's always nice to have a bit of a scorecard something to look at and say, hey, how am I doing? Like, am I on track? Is this going well, for me? Am I really struggling in a certain area?
No, my intention was sharing these it's not project on to you what your perfect life should be like, but it's to share five things that I think are often undervalued, I was going to make the mistake of saying undervalued in Western cultures,
I'm pretty sure Communist China isn't big on acceptance, or fun either. So let's say around the world, the majority of cultures, undervalue most of these things.
And I think it's nice to have a scorecard something you can look at and say, hey, how am I doing in these five areas? Is there a specific area in my life, maybe I should really work on. And so that's my intention with making this video.
So number one, speaking of things you probably don't have a lot of in mainland China would be choice. Now, an overabundance of choice is actually not good for your happiness, too many choices, too many options, is not necessarily a great thing.
But a certain level of choice and freedom. Ultimately, having autonomy over your own life is critical for having an extraordinary life. Research has found that whether or not you have autonomy, and choice with your decisions, has a massive impact on how stress affects you.
So for example, someone who's an entrepreneur and quite stressed, working really hard doing a lot, but they have a choice of being that way.
They're the ones who decided to do the promotion or hire new people or do whatever it is that is bringing them distress are much less affected in terms of their long term health,
then people in sort of the middle or lower rungs of a corporate ladder, where they might actually have less stress, but they don't have any control over it.
Now, in terms of choice, my non negotiable are when I work, where I work, and who I work with, where I spend my time, who I spend my time with in terms of my personal life, and having the choice not to ever have to do something that would compromise my values.
So not having some kind of job or client that would try to pressure me into doing something that isn't aligned with my values,
so that I always have the choice of what I do what I invest in how I spend my energy, the next component of an extraordinary life is growth. Listen, you don't grow, you die.
Human Nature is very relative, right? Our experience of the world, how we feel is all about the relative nature compared to how we were feeling the month before, plenty of studies have shown this, if you suddenly get rich,
you'll be really happy for a short period of time, then it will become normal, then you'll likely become less happy than you were before you became rich, because of all the stress and people asking for handouts, and all that sort of stuff.
So one of the ways to experience positive emotions on a regular basis is to be growing. A good way to do this is to be challenging yourself.
If you have your own business, try to grow it take on new initiatives, if you're into sports, physical activities, all that kind of stuff, take on new challenges, be learning new things, the more you are growing, the more satisfied you will be with your life.
And at the same time, you'll be picking up skills that will allow you to create a better life. So through learning and challenging yourself, you're going to be growing and that experience itself will actually be really satisfying.
But by going through that you're actually going to become a better version have you and most likely create a better life for yourself as well. So this is a very Win, win win situation, make sure that growth plays a significant aspect in your life.
Speaking of growth and challenge, and this is a total segue into a plug. But I do want to let you know this week, and this week, only enrollment into this new community I've created called Dreamers Around The World is open,
it's open this week until Friday at midnight, this is something that I've been wanting to create for well over a year been challenging to find the technological tools and just figure it all out. But it is all done.
It has been a great part of my own personal growth, putting it together. And I made this based on everything you've told me reading your comments, reading your emails, listening to what you want,
and what would really be valuable for you led me to make this so there'll be a card popping up with a link to the site as well as the link will be below in the description.
Do check that out either now or at the end of the video. If you've been following me for a while and thinking about working with me or being part of a really inspiring community. This is definitely the time and the place to do it.
Speaking of community, that brings us to the third part of an extraordinary life, which is acceptance, the people around you should accept and cherish you for you, you should never be in situations where you feel like you need to be a completely different person, or hide who you are.
And this carries over to accepting yourself. Often though, when people around us except this I don't know if you've ever experienced this I definitely have is some of the best times when
I've shifted in terms of accepting myself more have actually been because of friends or partners accepting me and they've accepted a flaw I had and then I accepted afterwards.
So the people you spend time with and their willingness to accept you for who you are, is to me completely critical. And I know it's not always as easy as it sounds, especially you know,
depending on where you're watching this, your culture, who you are, how you were born. It's not always easy, but make it a priority, because it is definitely a game changer.
When you accept yourself and those around you accept you, you'll find you feel so much freer, so much more energy to do things to use your strengths to create, it's just just do it just do your very best to make it happen.
It may require joining new communities, ending certain relationships, having some very difficult conversations with friends or family members about who you are and how they need to behave around you.
But it's going to be worth it. People probably like 70% of people who were always boring, like even as kids, they weren't very fun. But then as they get older, they're like,
Oh yeah, now I can hate on these people having fun and tell them they should grow up. And you know, it's all about maturity.
Now they pretend they grew up, but they were never fun people, you've got to have fun in life. I'll tell you this, the people I know who are still having fun and enjoying life in their 60s,
do not act like people you think of in their 60s, they look better, they feel better, they're healthier, have fun in life, there's no reason to stop having fun, that might be laughing with friends that might be going on an adventurous trip,
it could be playing some board games with your kids or with your parents have more fun in your life, you'll feel better, you're very likely to get more done and actually make more money.
If you have more fun as well see the book The happiness advantage if you don't believe me on that. And overall, you're just going to be a better person to be around.
So fun, very important part of an extraordinary life. And number five, last but certainly not least, is love Come on. We all like to love we all cry when we watch Love Actually, even if it's for the 27th time.
Love is an essential part of an extraordinary life, become your best self create an awesome life and spend it with people you love. Now, this may be your children and your parents and your family and your lover might also be your friends, as many people as you can have around you.
Expressing positive, great emotions, the better. So think about these components, you want to create a life with lots of choice, choice about the people you spend time with.
Grow, push yourself, challenge yourself. And some of that challenge might be creating more choice in your life and being more selective about who you spend your time with.
Which leads us to that third point of acceptance, it's going to be a lot easier to share a lot of love with great people, when the people around you accept you and love you for who you are. And when you're surrounded by loving people when you're growing, when you're challenged