what's up everyone today we're going to be talking about cancel
culture as it's commonly known a form of online bullying designed to destroy
someone's career or reputation or both it's happened to a couple of
members of the brojo community so i'd like to address it head on
and offer what i think might be a solution
what is cancel culture originally it was about people withdrawing their
support from a high profile person because they were offended or disgusted
by what they did this happened a lot during the metoo movement
you know the fan base for people like kevin spacey and bill cosby dropped
significantly because they did genuinely horrendous acts
however like many social justice movements eventually that swung too far
into the red and now we have people joining up in
these anonymous online gangs to tear apart people's
lives based on tiny indiscretions and often
false information we've seen it with a number of our
favorite actors and comedians things they said on twitter
10 years ago are being brought up to try and
destroy their credibility make them out to be
racist or something like that and we're actually seeing them
lose in their career because of these things none of which are outside the
norm they're not doing anything more extreme
than the very people accusing them and yet they're having their lives
destroyed and this isn't just happening to the big guys
i had a client who i'll keep anonymous and
basically he went online asking for some help
this was misinterpreted as him being entitled or arrogant
and it just spread like wildfire throughout the media
my anonymous little nice guy client was suddenly a superstar in a very negative
way and his whole family essentially had to
go into reclusion just to avoid this online hatred storm
that just came out of nowhere so what was originally probably a
healthy movement away from high profile people who are actually pretty nasty
behind the scenes has become a form of online
hatred venting where people can anonymously
join mobs and destroy others without doing any research without any justice
it's just trial by media and people allowing that outrage pawn to get them
all worked up on that note if you're one of them get
your [ __ ] house in order stop doing it don't jump on people
online when you know nothing about the case and you're just being provoked and
stirred by pictures and media stop being stupid
so whether it's at a big scale like a celebrity or a small scale like a number
of people i know it's essentially become online bullying
somebody is targeted there's blood in the water
everybody does this internet pile on and you get this person who's
basically an innocent they've done nothing truly horrible in their life
some minor mistakes that you know really aren't that big a deal
and now their boss is getting bombarded by
thousands of emails from strangers telling them they should quit
things are being sent around personal information being sent around online
just these people having their kind of life exploded out into the public view
so that strangers all over the planet can judge ridicule
and actually try to hurt them it's amazing how
evil people can be when they're hidden behind a computer screen
however if this is happening to you i don't actually think that you're a
victim now you're certainly being targeted and
they're certainly trying to hurt you but as i talk about in a lot of my
content about managing manipulation there's
only one way that somebody can hurt you with manipulation and that is
if you're ashamed of something secret about yourself
see if you have no shame if you're totally okay
with you as you are and you have no regrets about your past
then no one can really do this to you in order for you to be a victim of cancer
culture you must first and foremost be so ashamed that you want to keep
something a secret if you're not like that you're basically
invincible as i always say you can't blackmail
someone who doesn't have any secrets so the key feature to cancel culture is
not actually the mob of losers on the internet who
have nothing better to do with their lives
it's your shame that makes you a victim it's your shame that makes you a target
in the first place you'll notice that cancer culture
will never happen to the truly shameless people
dave chappelle is a great example of someone well he kind of bounced back but
there's really nothing you could do to dave chappelle because he doesn't give a
[ __ ] what you know about him and that's the kind of person you need
to be to be immune to cancer culture how do you become this
kind of person it's not just an overnight
transformation i'm not even entirely sure i'm there yet though i do feel
pretty confident that i'm close essentially it's about being honest
first make sure if there's any dark nasty [ __ ]
about you in your past or in your mind or in your current behavior
that if anyone hears about it they first hear about it from you
and if they do happen to hear about it from someone else first
a quick bit of research will show them that you've already revealed this to the
world so this is no secret and you're not ashamed of it
so if you're talking about someone trying to get you fired from your job
make sure that in your first week of a new job your boss knows everything that
might be used against you so if somebody comes to him or her with
that information it's old news it's not going to be a
surprising shock secondly and this one will sound a bit
controversial perhaps never apologize for who you are
now that's not to say that you should be proud of everything you've ever done
but what i've noticed in these cancer culture waves where people get their
careers destroyed is there's this key moment where the person apologizes for
the thing they're being called out on and it's at that point of time that the
mob turns on them when the person goes i'm
ashamed of myself everyone goes yeah you should be ra but
they've been a few people who have been at that moment and they've
said you know what that's just who i am you gotta take it or leave it love me
or hate me i don't give a [ __ ] that's who i am i'm
not proud of it but i'm not ashamed of it either
there's nothing a canceled culture mob can really do to someone like that
but if you say oh sorry you know i shouldn't have done that
people were just gonna it's blood in the water to those
loser sharks on the internet they just pile on when they get that sensation
repairing damage for what you've done is different to apologizing
and that can also go a long way to preventing cancer culture from
happening to you if you have done something awful
repair the damage make restitutions and reparations
do your best to fix what damage you've done
so by the time people find out about it it's actually case closed this has been
repaired this is not an ongoing piece of harm
great example of this is louis ck one of my favorite comedians of all time
he was one of the first people during the metoo movement to get
accused and cancel cultured around something that was kind of
on the fence we're not really sure if what he did was
good or bad in a sense the act itself was kind of disgusting
but he got consent to do it most of the time
so this wasn't quite in the same category as
you know weinstein and cosby and all those other freaks
now when it first happened louis ck actually did the apology thing i believe
he said something like it's now my time to listen i've done
something wrong and of course they piled in on him but
he's just bounced back and the way he's bounced back is exactly
what i'm talking about his latest special i forget the name of
it i'll include a link below you can buy it from his website
absolutely recommend it it's [ __ ] hilarious
he actually does a whole bit where he just talks
like directly about who he is and what happened
he says something in the special like should we talk about it
and he just goes into it in absolute detail he holds nothing back all the
gross details he and he just owns it he just goes
that's who i am that's my thing trust me you don't want your thing being
found out you know we've all got a thing and he calls out hey we're all
disgusting human beings we've all got a thing
don't judge me and that's the kind of thing
that keeps you safe because what can you do to somebody who's like yeah i'm like
this what are you gonna do as opposed to someone like i'm sorry i'm
like this thirdly tell everyone it's happening if it's
happening to you what a lot of people do is as the cancer
culture kind of internet pylon starts to build
they're trying to put that fire out and make sure as few people find out about
it as possible i recommend going in the exact opposite
direction be the one who brings the story out
say i'm a victim of online bullying it's happening
talk about it but again talk about it shamelessly
you know call them losers because that's what they are
that's what they are people protesting on the internet are the biggest losers
on the planet and you can call them that because
that's an accurate description of what they are so don't apologize for
being this person who's just a normal human being
just say look the losers are out again and this time they've chosen me
tell your family tell your boss announce it on social media
if anything think about it like a fire that needs to be burnt out as quickly as
possible so if you're the one who makes a big
scene about it it doesn't slowly build it explodes
and then it dies away because tomorrow's always a new story
and you can get through this quite quickly my client who went through
something like this after about two months the story had
just died away completely and they could get on with their lives
because the mob of losers had moved on to the next victim
and lastly and i think most importantly and specifically to your career if you
really want to be safe from cancer culture
you've got to become an entrepreneur or at least a consultant or a freelancer or
something of that nature you have to be the one who's in control
of your career you have to be your own boss
that's the only way you can be guaranteed to not get fired
if you build a great relationship with your client base and you're very
valuable and open with them and they love and trust you nobody
they're going to defend you if someone attacks
right and just because you won't have a boss no one will fire you your business
will remain intact that's one of the things i feel secure about
you know i know the tight-knit brojo community is very supportive of me
so if somebody tried to attack me from the outside they would defend me that's
actually happened already in smaller doses with my content they got a
bad reaction so i'm not concerned about my business or
my future as a coach i've been as open and honest with
everybody as i possibly can be if there's anything i've forgotten i'll
just be like oh yeah i did that too i'm just gonna own it and my audience
will appreciate that i'm sure and nobody can really hurt me i might be
asking for it by saying that but [ __ ] it bring it on you
losers hope that helps there's no quick easy way to
either prevent this or get out of it once you're in it requires a lot of
courage and vulnerability and just brutal honesty ownership of who
you are but also an absolute absence of shame and apology for who you are
and that way you become invincible it's the exact same strategy that works
one-to-one with bullies okay they can only hurt you if you're ashamed of
yourself they can only leverage things about you
if you want to keep them secret if you're open like this is who the [ __ ]
i am bring it on you really there's nothing anyone can do
to you you're invincible hope you enjoyed that video please join
the brojo community and protect yourselves a little bit
there www.brojo.org it's completely free to join
great community and if you like this video please subscribe and share it
around and i'll see you guys next time cheers