( LAUGHTER ) THIS IS A NEW LOW.
( LAUGHTER ) OF COURSE, THIS WAS MY FIRST
WEEK BACK FROM A TWO WEEK BREAK, ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Jon: THAT'S A LONG BREAK.
>> Stephen: AND SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED.
I REALLY MISSED THE CHANCE TO TALK ABOUT SOME BIG STUFF --
ESPECIALLY THE EXIT OF WHITE HOUSE STRATEGIST AND PRO-ACTIVE
"BEFORE" MODEL, STEVE BANNON.
TECHNICALLY, I GUESS BANNON WASN'T FIRED BECAUSE ON THE DAY
HE LEFT THE ADMINISTRATION ISSUED A STATEMENT
"WHITE HOUSE CHIEF OF STAFF JOHN KELLY AND STEVE BANNON HAVE
MUTUALLY AGREED TODAY WOULD BE STEVE'S LAST DAY."
YES, IT WAS MUTUAL.
SAME WAY MY COLLEGE GIRLFRIEND AND I MUTUALLY AGREED THAT SHE'D
BE HAPPIER HAVING SEX WITH GARY.
( LAUGHTER ) WELL, SEEMS LIKE A GOOD GUY.
YOU'D LIKE HIM.
( LAUGHTER ) WELL, THIS SUNDAY, BANNON'S
MAKING HIS FIRST POST-WHITE HOUSE TV APPEARANCE RIGHT HERE
ON CBS, AND, SURPRISINGLY, IT'S NOT AS A CORPSE ON "N.C.I.S."
( LAUGHTER ) "HOW LONG HAS THIS GUY BEEN
FLOATING IN THE HARBOR?
( LAUGHTER ) BANNON -- SOMEBODY'S LITTLE BOY.
BANNON IS SITTING DOWN WITH OUR FRIEND CHARLIE ROSE ON THE "60
MINUTES," AND HE TEASED IT THIS MORNING ON "CBS THIS MORNING."
>> FIRST TELEVISION INTERVIEW HE'S DONE.
>> YEP, MOST PEOPLE HAVE NOT HEARD HIM SPEAK BEFORE.
BUT HE'S CERTAINLY NOT ONE TO MINCE WORDS, CHARLIE.
I'M SURPRISED HE CAME OUT.
>> STEPHEN: OH MY GOD, HE CAME OUT?
THIS INTERVIEW'S GOING TO BE AMAZING.
( APPLAUSE ) I'M SURPRISED.
I'M SURPRISED HE'S NOT MORE FIT.
( LAUGHTER ) NOW --
WE GOT A SNEAK PEEK OF CHARLIE'S INTERVIEW AND, IN IT, BANNON
DEFENDS TRUMP ENDING DACA, EVEN THOUGHT BANNON'S A CATHOLIC AND
THE CHURCH OPPOSED THE DECISION.
>> THE CATHOLIC CHURCH HAVE BEEN TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS.
THE BISHOPS HAVE BEEN TERRIBLE ABOUT THIS.
BY THE WAY, YOU KNOW WHY-- YOU KNOW WHY?
BECAUSE, UNABLE TO REALLY-- TO COME TO GRIPS WITH THE PROBLEMS
IN THE CHURCH, THEY NEED ILLEGAL ALIENS.
THEY NEED ILLEGAL ALIENS TO FILL THE CHURCHES.
IT'S OBVIOUS, ON THE FACE OF IT.
>> STEPHEN: YEAH, IT'S OBVIOUS ON THE FACE OF IT
THAT THE CHURCH IS JUST CYNICALLY WELCOMING IN STRANGERS
WHO DESPERATELY NEED HELP SO THE BISHOPS CAN GET INTO HEAVEN.
THE FIX IS IN.
THEY'RE JUST BUTTERING UP THE BIG GUY.
JESUS LAID OUT THE WHOLE MARKETING STRATEGY: "BLESSED ARE
THE MEEK, FOR THEY WILL REALLY FILL UP THE PEWS.
I'LL TAKE ANYBODY.
PEACEMAKERS, LEPERS, MEXICANS.
KA-CHING."
( APPLAUSE ) BANNON WENT ON TO CLARIFY WHY HE
DISAGREES WITH HIS CHURCH ON THIS.
>> I TOTALLY RESPECT THE POPE AND THE CATHOLIC BISHOPS AND
CARDINALS ON DOCTRINE.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT DOCTRINE.
THIS IS ABOUT THE SOVEREIGNTY OF THE NATION.
AND IN THAT REGARD, THEY'RE JUST ANOTHER GUY WITH AN OPINION.
>> STEPHEN: YEAH, STEVE, AND NOW THAT YOU'RE NOT AT THE WHITE
HOUSE, SO ARE YOU.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) VERY MUCH LIKE THE POPE.
VERY MUCH LIKE THE POPE.
( APPLAUSE ) CHARLIE ALSO ASKED BANNON ABOUT
HIS IMAGE IN THE MEDIA.
>> THE MEDIA IMAGE, I THINK, IS PRETTY ACCURATE.
I'M A STREET FIGHTER.
THAT'S WHAT I AM.
>> YOU'RE MORE THAN THAT.
>> I THINK I'M A STREET FIGHTER.
>> STEPHEN: YEAH, YOU LOOK LIKE A STREET FIGHTER.
EVER THOUGHT ABOUT FIGHTING BACK?
( LAUGHTER ) ONLY SO MUCH PUNISHMENT A MAN'S
FACE CAN TAKE.
( PIANO RIFF ) IN FACT, BANNON'S SUCH A STREET
FIGHTER, HE'S ACTUALLY IN THE VIDEO GAME.
>> YOU WILL DESTROY!
>> Stephen: GREAT GAME.
( APPLAUSE ) AND EVEN THOUGH HE'S NO LONGER
IN THE WHITE HOUSE, BANNON VOWS TO DEFEND TRUMP, NO MATTER WHAT.
>> DONALD TRUMP'S A FIGHTER-- GREAT COUNTER PUNCHER.
GREAT COUNTER PUNCHER.
HE'S A FIGHTER.
I'M GONNA BE HIS WINGMAN OUTSIDE FOR THE ENTIRE TIME.
>> STEPHEN: THAT'S NOT HOW A WINGMAN WORKS.
( LAUGHTER ) YOU'RE NOT STANDING OUTSIDE THE
BAR SHOUTING "YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB, BRAD!
HEY, LADIES, MY FRIEND IS GREAT AT SEX!"
GET ON THAT THING!
( LAUGHTER ) ( PIANO RIFF )
BUT BANNON IS A STAUNCH TRUMP SUPPORTER.
HE EVEN DEFENDED TRUMP AFTER HE FAILED TO CALL OUT VIOLENT WHITE
SUPREMACISTS IN CHARLOTTESEVILLE.
>> BY THE WAY, AFTER THE CHARLOTTESVILLE SITUATION,
THAT'S WHAT I TOLD GENERAL KELLY.
I WAS THE ONLY GUY THAT CAME OUT AND TRIED TO DEFEND HIM.
I WAS THE ONLY GUY THAT SAID, HE'S TALKING ABOUT TALKING ABOUT
SOMETHING, TAKING IT UP TO A HIGHER LEVEL.
>> STEPHEN: HE'S DEFINITELY TAKING IT TO A HIGHER LEVEL.
I'D SAY HIS SUPPORT IS ABOUT...
HERE.
( APPLAUSE ) ( PIANO RIFF )
OR OVER HERE.
SOMEWHERE UP THERE.
WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.