Studies have begun to show that an increase in narcissism may be linked to the increase in social media usage.
Many experts believe that narcissistic children are made from the internet that is constantly praising or tearing down these young children.
Imagine this scenario: you have spent the last six to seven years arguing with your teenager about how selfish they are, and you don't know what has gone wrong with them.
You finally get them tested at 18 years old for narcissistic tendencies and the results come back
not what you expected them to be… that your child does have narcissistic personality disorder.
You start to worry and think to yourself,
"What can I do if my child is a narcissist?"
or, "Can we have a healthy and long-lasting relationship as parent and child?"
That answer is yes, you can have a healthy relationship, and this video is going to help you see that.
So, what you need to do first is take a deep breath, realize everything is going to be okay, and listen to this video to the end.
You are going to be relieved that you don't feel alone.
Having a healthy relationship with a narcissistic son or daughter is perfectly doable.
You just have to educate yourself on the topic, symptoms, treatments, and coping mechanisms.
You can't do anything without educating yourself on the topic.
It can be easier to talk to professionals.
Those can include the doctor that diagnosed the child, local and telehealth therapists, and parent group therapy.
Educating yourself can make coping a lot easier because you have a new perspective on things.
Even if the child lacks empathy, it should not mean that the parent should too.
We know that being a parent, even without any complications, is hard enough, but having a child diagnosed with a personality disorder is a new level of stress.
6% of the people above the age of 18 are diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
That is a large number of people.
To begin with, as a parent, you have to realize you are not a victim.
Whatever situation occurs, you are still their parent.
You are not a victim to your child or their abuse.
Can parents still be abused by their children?
Absolutely, but it is important to understand that there should be compromise in any relationship.
Even with narcissistic older children, you need to compromise and set boundaries.
Setting boundaries for what they can and cannot do allows them to see the things that upset you and steers them away from controlling behavior.
Most children will not listen to yelling or screaming, but talking to them as equals will make them feel like their opinion matters as well.
Teenagers to young adults are very self-centered people, so it is important to allow them to continue to think about their goals and intentions, but opening the doors slightly to have them think about others too.
This may take a while to achieve so it is important to always stay consistent and watch for teaching moments.
The aspect of parenting that no one really talks about is the positive reinforcement and correcting the negative behavior of a child.
That part can be so difficult.
Parents are quick to tell their child when they do something wrong or not to do something they want, but they will not praise them for something they did right
the majority of the time.
Many parents believe a child should not get praised for being caring for others or helping someone when not asked to.
It's easier to focus on the negative aspects of our child but not the positive, and that adds up in a child's mind.
Creating a healthy relationship with a child who is narcissistic includes finding a balance in good positive reinforcement and shutting down that negative behavior.
It is tough to find that balance
but it can be done.
Ideally that should be reserved for behavior that exhibits a lack of empathy and explain why it is upsetting.
Putting it into another person's perspective seems to be the ideal approach to professionals.
When they perform big or small acts of kindness for others, practice positive reinforcement and also explain why they did well, and focus on how it helped someone else.
Simply praising them for being nice will give them an ego boost rather than show how their actions affected someone else positively.
Another way to have a healthy relationship with a narcissistic young adult child is to understand where and how the narcissism started.
In these times of social media presence, it can be quite common to be flooded with praise and compliments left and right.
All of these constant praises and approval from strangers around the world can create an entitled sense of self.
The teenager or young adult has not yet learned the meaning of humility and takes these compliments to heart, meaning that they think they can do no wrong.
As a parent, it is important to monitor their usage and explain to your child the difference between the social media world and the world they live in.
Many young children do not understand that there is a difference.
An important part of a healthy relationship with a narcissistic child is to act the way you want your child to act.
If you continue to ignore your child and their needs, your child will ignore you and your needs, then proceed to ignore others and their needs.
That can extend to teachers, friends, and even employers.
If you are attentive to your child and help them in need, they will see these acts as the norm.
It is important to show empathy towards others, along with kindness and open-mindedness.
Many narcissistic children are close-minded to trying new things if they don't seem like a good fit, so show your child that you are open to trying new things and adjusting the way you think to exhibit that behavior to your child.
Many parents do not even realize how their everyday behavior rubs off on their children.
Children pay more attention than we like to believe.
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A healthy relationship consists of communication.
So what is healthy communication with a narcissistic adult child?
There are many factors that can contribute to healthy communication.
One idea that has been expressed is staying neutral or not agreeing or disagreeing.
It is important to remain in the neutral zone and not behind enemy lines or allies with the narcissistic child.
When talking to your kid in one of their "fits" as some may call it, it is important to express that you heard their concerns and you will think about it and get back to them.
In the heat of the moment, it can be easy to get angry or even give in to them and their needs.
Step back from the situation and understand that you can control the outcome by creating healthy communication.
Active listening is another technique that is recommended.
This can help the child understand active listening if they see you engaging in it.
Narcissistic children will find ways to make you the enemy and do it in their tantrums.
They will react like how you react to them.
Communication is important because it can help save the relationship in the long run.
Some people do not believe that you can have a stable and healthy parent-child relationship if one of them is narcissistic.
That is not true at all.
One important aspect of a relationship with a narcissistic child is to ensure they take responsibility for their actions.
Just like any relationship, it is important for both partners to take responsibility for anything they did wrong and correct it with themselves and with their significant other.
It can be hard, but teaching a child to own up to their actions and behaviors can really be an eye-opener if they seem to lack empathy towards others.
When they are not forced to come to terms with how they act, they will never believe that any behavior is wrong.
Sometimes it can be hard as a parent
but you have to let your child see the consequences of their actions.
When they experience a consequence that isn't to their liking, it will usually serve as a friendly reminder to never do that action or behavior again.
Another important way to build a healthy relationship together is to find something you both enjoy doing and do it together regularly.
Whether that is working out, solving puzzles, gardening, or anything else that can be done together, it can help instill empathy and team-building in the child.
Many times the parent only does what the child wants and it gives them an idea of self-entitlement that is unhealthy for their growing brain.
Doing something the parent and child both enjoy gives the child the idea to share their passions with others and that they don't have to be the only one who is good at it.
This can help them with helping others who enjoy the same activities as they do.
It is important that the parent puts in just as much effort in the relationship as they expect of the child.
It is a 50-50 relationship and the parent has to be aware of who they are and what they want.
You must be and act who you want your child to be.
As stated before, a healthy relationship begins with the parent controlling the outcome of the situation by not overreacting to things.
They listen to the child and acknowledge their needs without saying yes or no to them.
Of course, it is important to sometimes tell your child no, but too much of no or too much of yes can make a huge difference.
This can be hard to do as a parent, but it requires consistency and determination.
It can be said that tough love is the best love and sometimes children need tough love.
As mentioned earlier, an increase of narcissism can be seen linked to an increase of social media use.
Professionals are thinking of changing the definition of narcissism to center around social media.
They believe the over-usage of social media may create more narcissistic teens than they thought would ever exist at once.
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