Let's take a look at this performance by me
from an old TV show called
Ah!
-Hi, sorry to interrupt. -What is it, boy?
Mason Thornesmith
is having a major press conference right now
about the Platinum Music Awards.
They're streaming it on The Slap.
We are conducting a worldwide search for a fresh,
young talent who will begin the award show
with an original song.
So for the next 48 hours,
we'll be accepting online video auditions.
[fast passed music playing]
I tried to read your mind
And I don't want to waste your time
Click.
[playing the guitar]
Oh, yeah.
Shelter my eyes from the sun
And wait for the birds to fly y
I like it.
Please, won't you cheer me up?
Oh, even if we're the only ones dancing
[audience cheering]
[music playing]
Over there, over there.
There's Tori with that large sandwich.
There's my girl.
-What's going on? -Tori Vega.
[murmuring]
How would you like to sing the opening number
at this year's Platinum Music Awards?
Yes, oh my God! Yes!
Okay, all right.
The audience likes to see a personality, a character.
Music, whatever.
Mason's saying that you must let us create an image for you.
So you want to, like, give me a makeover?
Yes.
But you mustn't tell anyone we're putting you up to this.
Well, I can tell my parents and friends, though, right?
-No one. -No, no, no, no.
No, this is far too big.
-You can't trust anyone. -Except us.
Exactly.
And we'll never tell you anything that isn't true.
We've already got you looking the part
of the outrageous pop star.
And now you've got to play the part.
I don't--
-Rebellious. -Dangerous.
The sort of wild girl who'd go to a posh restaurant
on Beverly Hills get furious with a server,
flip over a table.
-Grab a plate of ravioli... -And then dump
that ravioli right down a policeman's pants.
And people will think I'm a terrible person.
Precisely.
That will create buzz. Get everyone talking about you.
We have a chopped salad for the gentleman.
Oh, yeah. That's a legit salad.
And for the lady, a lobster salad with avocado.
What? What is this?
Uh, well, you ordered--
Where's the manager?
[table falling]
My salad!
Excuse me, young lady.
Give me that crapioli!
...upset over something? Oh, my stars!
For a girl who's about to open the Platinum Music Awards
in front of, like, a billion people,
you don't look too happy.
I'm not.
Why?
Because I just wish that I could tell everyone--
That it's all an act?
That those people are making you dress and act like a jerk?
How did you know?
Now why don't you just stop?
Cause if I don't keep acting like a bad girl,
obnoxious rock star,
they might drop me from the show.
Just tell Mason Thornesmith that you're not going to play
his little game anymore.
But--
The world needs to see who you really are.
[music playing]
There's Tori.
Tori.
Hey, Mason.
Hey, what?
Why are you dressed like a printer?
Listen to me, young lady. We have a deal.
Look, I don't wanna be your puppet anymore.
I don't want to wear stupid clothes and stupid makeup.
And I don't want to be mean or flip tables or dump ravioli
down former astronaut's pants.
You forgot one.
What?
You're also not gonna sing at the Platinum Music Awards.
You're out.
Oh, yeah, you.
Me?
You gave a rather fantastic audition as I recall.
Thanks.
How would you like to sing the opening number
tomorrow night at the Platinum Music Awards?
Absolutely.
Come, then. We have much to discuss.
[music playing]
Hi.
-Hey, cutie. -Hey, Cat.
Hey, girl.
Where are you?
I'm in the bathtub.
Cat, you don't have to lie.
It's okay if you're with Jade helping her get ready
for the show tomorrow night.
Oh, Jade said you guys are invited to come here
and watch her rehearse.
No, thanks.
You guys want to go watch her?
Yes!
I should have just kept my mouth shut.
No, you were right.
I mean, if I'm going to be successful,
I want it to be because of my talent,
not for throwing tantrums and wearing meat hats.
Well, can't you be famous for your music and wear a meat hat?
Yeah.
Uh...
Oh,
you.
-I'm sorry. -No.
I'm sorry.
-I didn't mean to. -No, no, no, you didn't. You--
Then why can't we kiss?
Cuz--
Cuz of Jade.
-Jade and I broke up. -Look.
I mean, I guess Jade and I aren't really
friends, but we're
kind of friends, I think.
And
kissing her ex-boyfriend,
I can't do that to a friend.
[audience sympathizing]
[closing laptop]
[music playing]
Check one, check. Check one.
Twelve minutes away, people. Going live in 12.
Wow.
Incredible outfit.
Didn't expect to see you here.
Well,
everyone else was coming to cheer you on, so
I figured I would too.
And
you look way better in that than I would've.
This isn't right.
Yeah, it is a little tight around you.
No.
Not the stupid outfit. This.
Me.
I don't--
This is supposed to be your night.
This was your big chance, so
for me to go out there and--
And?
I can't do that to a friend.
Or even to you.
[audience laughing]
[music playing]
Sixty seconds.
-You ready? -Waiting for my cue.
Hey, Rick, did you get the script change?
Script change? No.
Argh, those guys. Give me that.
Have a good show.
You too.
[audience laughing]
We're live in five, four, three, two--
Welcome to the 34th Annual Platinum Music Awards.
Ladies and gentlemen,
for her first worldwide live performance,
please welcome Tori Vega.
What the-- She's--
What she's doing out there?
-Do you know who that is? -I know who she is.
Is that Tori?
-Yeah, that's Tori. -Oh my God.
Yay, Tori.
That's supposed to be Jane.
What is she doing out there?
Do you understand what I'm telling you?
Got a one way ticket Down a two way street
Got the wind in my hair And there's dust on my feet
I'm just trying to make it in America
Script change.
Make it in America
I want to taste the sun
'Cause baby I'm born to run
I got a feeling That I'm not the only one
I wanna make it in America
Make it in America
[audience cheering]
Go, Tori!
Tori!
Oh my God.