Hello, everyone.
Today's episode is an amazing collection of my most
brilliant words of wisdom
over the past year and a half.
Yeah, mostly zingers directed at me!
Well, deservedly so, I say!
Deservedly who?
Sit back and enjoy my oratory elocutionism.
Do you EVER speak English?
Please cancel my subscription to your thought processes.
Everyone has the right to be stupid.
But you're abusing the privilege!
Hey!
Princess for a day, queen for a lifetime.
Behind every great writer is her sister rolling her eyes.
Common sense is like deoderant.
Those who really need it, don't use it!
Never underestimate an underachiever.
They're capable of less thank you think!
Common sense is like an airplane.
Yup! It goes over most people's heads.
How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it.
Daddy! Birthdays are nature's way of telling us
to eat more cake!
So many people are judgemental these days.
Biscuit can tell just by looking at them!
When opportunity knocks, sometimes it's better NOT to answer.
She's not lazy.
She just really enjoys doing nothing.
I smile because you're my sister.
I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it!
The difference between stupidity and genius
is that genius has its limits.
Daddy, you got this!
Remember what they say in the maternity ward,
no pain, no gain!
A wise dog knows when bravery ends
and stupidity begins.
Nature has evolved to a higher level of intelligence.
But you are refusing to accept the promotion.
Irony... not just the opposite of wrinkly.
Science doesn't exist in their alternate universe.
No, when a grownup loses a tooth,
they have to pay the tooth fairy to get a new one.
Ah, greeting cards!
When you care enough to send the very best,
but not enough to actually write something.
That moment when you spell a word so wrong
that even auto-correct is like, I got nothing.
Smart!
You only get one chance to make a good first impression.
A fool, his sister, and their money are soon parted.
After all, procrastination is the thief of time.
Mine is to tolerate Biscuit more.
Provided this does not encourage her to
take up more of my time!
Understanding your limits is the greatest responsibility.
Yeah, sure.
Another fine day ruined by stupid responsibility!
So there you go. Words of wisdom by me!
Oh yeah?
Well, I'm going to start using my wordy thingyness on you!
That will be remarkably prodigious, Biscuit!
We all look forward to it.
Darn tootin'!