- I mean holy fuck, right?
You know what this is about?
Couple stoners who heist a meme cat,
and I'm supposed to get on board for this shit?
I mean, I don't mean to be all have-a-tude-ness with you.
I love what I do, but
this is what happenes when somebody loses their job
and then all of their awful scripts get piled on my desk
and then I have to find a nice way to say,
"No fucking way."
This one, oh this is good.
This is a rom-com. The third act ends in a patricide.
This is Black Swan, essentially,
except with a golden retriever.
Oh, and this one, this one really takes the cake.
This is Planet of the Apes,
only it takes place on a train.
You know what, actually, this is not bad.
I just wanna make art, okay?
That's what I wanna do.
I wanna make art,
but with humongous franchise opportunities, okay?
That's my job. That's not your job.
So, that, I'm gonna have to work on.
But, what do you say? You wanna do it?
- Sounds great. Yeah. That's awesome.
- Let's do it!
Okay.
Business over.
How is L.A. treating you?
- L.A.'s good.
I've already met 14 Camdens. I've been here for a week.
- (laughs)
- Also I'm crazy tan now.
- You are tan! Yeah, I can see that.
Oh my God and you're ripped too, huh?
- Oh yeah, it's crazy muscle stuff. Yeah.
- Yeah, don't hide that under a sweater.
- Not much to hide, so.
- Take your sweater off, show me.
- Yeah. (nervously laughs) What?
My muscles?
- Yeah, I wanna see it.
Take your sweater off.
- Are you kidding?
Are you doing a bit?
- No, I just have a question for you.
- [Morgan] Yeah.
- Okay, honestly, this is really serious.
Do you find me attractive?
- [Morgan] Okay.
- [Woman] Alright. What if I did this?
- Oh, okay!
Okay!
Oh, I don't know!
Actually, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Why?
- I have to stop.
I think, actually, I'm done.
- What?
- I think I finished.
I know, I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
- Okay.
- Shit.
- Does that happen to you often?
- Don't take it personally. It's happened a couple times.
- No, if anything, I take it as a compliment.
But, I mean, you should get that checked out
on a real tip.
- I mean I could help you out.
- What?
- I could.
- No, you know what?
Why don't we actually just call this
a wrap.
- Okay. Alright.
- Okay.
- Well, I'm looking forward to the movie.
Sorry again.
- Oh, you know what, actually,
I don't know if that is gonna work out,
so I'm gonna just have to run the numbers on that
and then I'll get back to you.
But, do you want a bottle of water for the road or
some fruit snacks or something?
- Really, Morgan? Malibu?
I mean there's a million other beaches
way closer than this.
It's not even that pretty.
- It's very pretty. What are you talking about?
- Yeah, but there's a lot of them.
Anyway.
Anybody asking, "Does anybody have any objection
"to this union?" might as well be asking,
"Hey, is anybody at this wedding here a bad friend?"
I mean, I had to say something, you know?
- I can't believe you said something.
- I had to say something.
I mean, he's totally wrong for her.
- Yeah, but that's.
- It's not just because we had a thing.
- Okay.
- It's not!
You know the signs of a psychopath, right Morgan?
- I do not.
- Of course you don't. We're both neurotic Jews.
- I'm not Jewish.
- Yes you are.
We get so fixated on why hasn't
this guy broken eye contact with us
that we don't even consider the fact
that he's plotting to blow up a bus.
- Who is? Brad?
- Yeah, it's just the general idea, you know.
- Okay.
- He's an asshole.
I'm not saying he's Al-Qaeda.
I'm just saying he shouldn't marry her.
Hey, Morgan?
- What's up?
- How's the movie going?
- Oh, really well actually.
It's lookin' like we're gonna make it.
(guitar music)
(techno music)