If you've turned on the TV lately, scrolled through social media, or read
the newspaper, you probably noticed that being nice isn't exactly in fashion.
Whether coming from a public figure, a talking head, or a newspaper columnist, it
seems like the loudest, most extreme voices are the ones garnering public
attention, wealth, and influence. There's an outrage industrial complex in our
country that sustains itself by keeping the dial turned to 11. This is especially
true in politics where coercive leaders capture power and electoral victories.
But while almost none of us like the yelling, the insults, and the infighting,
is there any evidence to suggest that you can push back against coercive
leadership? You can be kind and actually win anymore? Sure, your mom told you to be
nice. But out there in the real world that's terrible advice.
These days you simply can't afford to be nice, right? You know that phrase, nice
guys finish last? Here's the thing, it's got the data all wrong. I'm Arthur Brooks;
I'm a social scientist and author of the book, Love Your Enemies. In this video I'm
going to tell you about the kind of leaders that succeed in the long run, and it's
probably not who you'd expect. Let's start with a fact; coercive leaders do
sometimes bring short-term improvement, and sometimes it can feel like a leader
who will shake up the system or stand up to the other side's bully, that's the
leader we should support. What we know in our hearts is this; in the end it's
kindness and aspirational leadership, not coercion and contempt that brings
sustained success. Don't believe me? Let's look at the evidence. In 2015, scholars
examined the effect of being nice on the likelihood of being sought out for
advice, being perceived as a leader, and job performance. Across all three
categories, individuals who were consistently kind and civil easily finished ahead of
their colleagues who weren't. So from a first-look, it's apparent that if you
want to be perceived as a leader, sought out for advice, or given more
responsibility, you should be nice. But maybe you're not convinced yet, so let's
take a closer look at the impact of kindness on leadership effectiveness.
Psychologist Amy Cuddy has studied data on roughly 52,000 leaders ranked by
those under their supervision in terms of both likability and leadership effectiveness. What she's observed a stunning; only
.05 percent of leaders, that's only one out of every two thousand leaders,
are both in the bottom quartile for likability but the top quartile for
leadership effectiveness. Simply put, no one thinks that the style of leadership
we see today is effective. So we all hate the outrage industrial complex and now
we know that kind leaders are actually more successful than coercive leaders.
How can we bring about the change that we want? It starts with what psychologist
Daniel Goleman calls, authoritative leadership. In a landmark study of 4,000
CEOs, unlike the coercive leaders we see in public life today, authoritative
leaders do not belittle, blame, or bully. He finds that what makes them more
successful than any other kind of leader is that they articulate a unifying and
aspirational vision; whether for the company, their country, or the team. And
then inspire each member to take responsibility for getting to the final
destination. They garner support by offering their encouragement and trust
and they affirm each team member's importance to the work being done.
Thereby convincing individuals to give their best effort to secure the organization's
long-term prosperity. In our personal lives we can each be authoritative
leaders. But how can we get more of them public life? It starts by saying, "no" to
figures who spend their time attacking and blaming others. Maybe it's a TV show
host, maybe it's someone you follow on Twitter, maybe it's a politician. But no
matter who it is, take some time and ask yourself which leaders you pay attention
to who blame and belittle the other side, rather than promoting an aspirational
vision that includes even the people who disagree with them. Then once you've made
your list, put those figures on mute; stop reading their columns, stop watching their
shows. Because as much as we hate the outrage industrial complex,
we're the ones who sustain it, which means we're also the ones who can make
it disappear. If we refuse to be used. The kind of leadership our country needs
more of, is authoritative leadership. Let's summarize how we can get more of it.
First, it's not that you can't afford to be nice.
In the long run, you can hardly afford not to.
Second, it's not enough just to be kind. We also have to stand up to the dividers on our own side.
Once we commit to kindness and authoritative leadership, we'll be far more likely to
achieve success. And who knows, we might even be able to bring the country back together.
For more on how you can be a better, kinder leader, order your copy of,
Love Your Enemies, and visit www.arthurbrooks.com.