Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World
'He showed some intelligence'
Nominative determinism is what it's called when your name seems to have affected your choice of job,
like if Mr. Baker becomes a baker.
'You still don't believe me do you?'
The name Bert I. Gordon might not immediately suggest anything, but the initials spell 'big'
We're back with the Notorious B.I.G. for The Cyclops
'Why are they so large'
Although everyone else thinks her fiancee is dead, Susan Winter goes on an expedition to find him
'It's been 3 years since his plane crashed and no one's heard a word form him'
She's been busy. She is accompanied by a man who's in love with her
'Because I love you, and I'm tried of competeting with a dead man'
A pilot who's not exactly comforting during flight
'When you're number's called it's called'
And uranium prospector Lon Chaney jr.
'Do I look like a sucker?'
Well you keep making these films. He has a novel approach to safe air travel.
'Will you put this thing down like I told you.'
Using the word 'sucker' and knocking out the pilot, are you making a B Movie or joining the A Team?
'What do you mean'
The valley they somehow land in has 2 interesting features
'We're standing on pure uranium'
I'm not sure that's safe. Not least because of the second interesting feature.
So shocking I almost dropped my pipe. And it's not the only giant animal.
Oh, they killed the rat didn't they.
'That's true'
These giant animals seem to have presented a problem for the sound man.
'Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee'
a problem that I can't say he really solved to my satisfaction
'slurp slurp slurp'
And of course they present a problem to Susan and friends
'It might not be safe around here'
You think?
'Marty, those were no prehistoric creatures, they were animals of our time grown to enormous size'
Oh well that's alright then. But the radiation will affect them too,
'If what you say is true, we might grow bigger and bigger'
But Susan is set on remaining
'You've got to face reality'
Reality ceased to be an issue one squealing tarantula ago, so Susan sneaks off on her own
'Arrrrrgh'
Which goes well. Her comrades follow
'Russ, a bent twig. Told you I was part Indian'
Given the size of the local wildlife, if that's the only bent twig I'd be astounded.
Never the less they find Susan in the cave where she's been taken by
'Grrrrrr'
Peek-a-boo
There's only one thing to do!
'Have you seen this man?'
We're going cave to cave asking.
'Let's get out of here'
What a novel suggestion.
'We're safer in here!'
In this dead end cave where we can starve to death unless he eats us first.
After the cyclops kills Chaney, they follow his suggestion.
Yes, that's clearly the only way past him.
But something is bothering Susan.
'I feel sorry for him, I pity him and I don't know why'
Really? Anyone in the audience could tell you.
'Can't you figure it out'
Yes, I can, the cyclops is the missing fiancee
and he needs to stop popping up like that, it's really undermining him as a legitimate threat.
This looks ridiculous but, to be fair, he does lack depth perception.
And of course they don't want to hurt him, I mean, he's a victim here.
And while you slowly bleed out through your eyeball,
I'm gonna be doing your girlfriend.
Obviously this is not a great film but the biggest problem for B Movie fans is that, later that same year,
Bert I Gordon would make The Amazing Colossal man,
about a man who, through no fault of his own becomes a bald, nappy-wearing giant,
and the fiancee who comes looking for him.
Then a year later that character loses his face and his marbles in War of the Colossal Beast
Cyclops is like a dry run for those better films
'But that's ridiculous!'
So, interesting in that it shows the artistic development of the great big radioactive monster movie maker
'Sound like you're enjoying this'
but never the less, a giant disappointment.
'What else could it be?'
Thanks for watching and giant thanks to those who support us on patreon.
We've reviewed a few films from cinematic giant Bert I Gordon,
but which should we be doing next? Your suggestions in the comments below?
'I want to get out of here!'