It’s widely known that being in your 20s is often a confusing and isolating time for
most people. Navigating life and figuring out your career, relationships and finances
can bring a lot of insecurity and anxiety. The odds are that you have likely experienced
your own version of this at some point.
This phase of your life can see you develop a surge in your stress levels, which happens
gradually throughout your life until it eventually decreases right around the time that you retire.
It also sees an increase in negative thoughts and feelings which sharply decreases right
around your mid-30s.
We tend to ask ourselves most of the critical identity questions like who we are or what
we mean to the world around the time we graduate college or get our first job. And the urgent
quest for definitive answers can send us into a real crisis.
A recent study conducted by LinkedIn showed that 75% of 25-33 year olds have experienced
a quarter-life crisis, mostly having to do with uncertainty about their career and the
direction that it is headed in.
Now, this is a little different from a midlife crisis where you end up buying yourself a
motorcycle and run away with an Instagram model. A quarter life crisis, more often than
not, is generally tied to hopelessness. Hopelessness about the fact that everything that you’re
doing is not going to get you to where you want to go.
Regardless of the cause, the quarter life crisis often spans for several years and is
linked to a general sense of dissatisfaction with one or more areas of your life. And if
it’s not going away, this may indicate that some changes need to take place in order for
you to start feeling more fulfilled with yourself.
So in this video, I want to share with you a few points that I keep in mind as I navigate
any crisis of self that I may be going through and hopefully this might be able to help you
as well.
Step 1 Understand that things will get better for
you
Most people start to experience an increase in positive emotions as early as their late
thirties, and a few years later also experience significant improvement in overall satisfaction
with life. This positive uptick starts after the quarter-life crisis and continues as people
find new ways to deal with their lives and their work, and family stressors.
The change that occurs after the quarter-life crisis is attributable to a set of skills
that we acquire: we learn to develop psychological mastery and to regulate our emotions instead
of dwelling and allowing emotions to take over [SHOT]. As we age, we learn to put things
in perspective, believe in ourselves more, and realize that the emotions are temporary
and do not have to consume us. One of the keys that’s helped me is to realize
that this is completely normal and that whatever angst I’m feeling or going through is merely
a part of the journey that will allow me to grow into a better version of myself.
Step 2 Stop comparing yourself to others so that
you can begin to create your own version of success.
When you compare yourself unfavorably to others, you do yourself a disservice. It causes you
to lose appreciation for all the positive things in your life and instead focus on the
things that you don't have. While you may think that others are doing
better than you, you might not feel the same way if you knew their whole story, including
the struggles and sacrifices that accompany their "success."
I have had my share of struggles with this, and let me tell you, nothing drags you down
more than obsessing over the impressive feats and possessions of someone your own age, or
even younger. Instead of allowing your peers to influence
your concept of success, take time to reflect and define what's important to you.
In the end, you may be inspired to make a career change after all. Or you may decide
to work less so that you can spend more time with friends and family. Or you might want
to even travel more and accomplish some other goal.
Just figure out what matters most to you. and you'll be able to turn your crisis into
an opportunity.
Step 3 Research and Invest in Yourself
Take the time to understand what you need to be happy at work and life in general. If
you figure out what the root cause of your dissatisfaction is, it will become much easier
to know out which positions, workplaces and environments are best for you.
If what you want is to change your job or career, that’s perfectly fine, more than
a quarter of 25-33 year olds are unsure of how to approach a career move. So do your
research. Research whether you need certifications or more specializations. Figure out whether
you need to expand your network or you need more experience. Read and learn whatever you
can so that you have all the information that you need. Once you know what it is that you
need to move towards, put yourself out there and start to make those small steps in that
direction.
Remember that this time of your life is a period of transition, and you need to keep
yourself grounded because not everything is going to be fixed instantly. But once you
begin to create manageable plans to deal with your biggest stressors, you’ll have a much
easier time keeping yourself out of similar crises in the future.
Listen, most people come out the other end in a better mental state, but this period
of limbo can still result in a lot of pain and confusion. If you’re driven to succeed
and set goals you want to achieve by a certain point in your life, kinda like me, you’re
a prime candidate for disappointment and confusion. Just know that going through this phase of
your life can be challenging and that you’re not alone, but rest assured that you’d probably
be worse off if it never happened to you.
Thanks for watching as always. Don’t forget to destroy that Like button and subscribe
to the channel for more videos like this every single week! My name is Vihan Chelliah. I’ll
see you next time.