Listen, we all do things on the way up
that we aren't exactly proud of.
In 2005, when I was 13 my manager convinced me to
write and record a pop single.
This is 100% a true story.
I was poised to be the next tween pop sensation.
Unfortunately, nobody's gotten to hear this musical
masterpiece until today.
With the help of some of my friends, I was finally able
to make the music video that I would've made way back then.
So, without further ado, here is the world premiere of
Candy Apple Pink.
[series of beeps]
[school bell ringing]
[music plays]
♪ Boy I see ya stairin' out the corner of my eye
♪ I can tell you're my type cause you look a bit shy
♪ But you're cute, that's no surprise
♪ I understand that you're a bit scared
♪ So I'm going to ease your mind
♪ Cause talking to you is like a piece of candy
♪ And I'm gonna take my time
♪ Just imagine
♪ Lollipop love
♪ Cause you're chocolatey sweet
♪ Bubblegum blowin' my mind...
♪ You're cotton candy cute, and my love for you is true
♪ I gotta get this off of my mind
♪ We'll have sugar coated fun and taffy hugs
♪ It'll be pure bliss
♪ I just can't stop thinkin', ya got me so weak
♪ I feel candy apple pink
♪ You're so sweet and you make me laugh
♪ You're just what I need
♪ So here ya go boy, here's my number
♪ You must give me a ring
♪ My heart's flippin'
♪ I'm just trippin'
♪ There's no way I can leave
♪ This is my chance
♪ I have to be free, cute, fun, and flirty
♪ Just imagine
♪ Lollipop love, cause you're chocolatey sweet
♪ Bubblegum blowin' my mind (blowin' my mind)
♪ You're cotton candy cute
♪ And my love for you is true
♪ I gotta get this off of my mind
♪ We'll have sugar coated fun and taffy hugs
♪ It'll be pure bliss
♪ I just can't stop thinkin'
♪ Ya got me so weak
♪ I feel candy apple pink
♪ I'm so excited that you're finally mine
♪ You got the chance to get to know me
♪ Ooooo
♪ The one thing I love is that you like me for me
♪ And now, we'll have a good time
♪ Lollipop love cause you're chocolatey sweet
♪ Bubblegum blowin' my mind (Bubblegum blowin' my mind)
♪ You're cotton candy cute
♪ And my love for you is true
♪ I got to get this off my mind (off my mind)
♪ We'll have sugar coated fun and taffy hugs
♪ It'll be pure bliss
♪ I just can't stop thinkin'
♪ Ya got me so weak
♪ I feel candy...
[music stops]
Freeze Ms. Reed!
We're from CPS, and what you're doing
is immoral and disgusting.
Child Protective Services.
But I'm just 13. I'm just a kid.
No-no-no. It's Candy Protective Services.
It's confusing. We know.
We have eye witness testimony that you've
been luring candy into your clutches with children.
Ma'am you're getting way to weird with that candy bar.
But, we're just having sugar coated fun, and taffy hugs.
I promise.
Lets take this sugar high lunatic away.
[prison cell door closes]
[foot steps]
♪ Lollipop love cause you're chocolatey sweet
♪ Bubblegum blowin' my mind
♪ You're cotton candy cute
♪ And my love for you is true
♪ I got to get this off my mind
♪ We'll have sugar coated fun and taffy hugs
♪ It'll be pure bliss
♪ I just can't stop thinkin'
♪ Ya got me so weak
♪ I feel candy apple pink
♪ Candy apple pink
[music fades]
[background laughter]