-The Democrats held their 10th debate last week,
but I think there are still a lot of important questions
left unanswered, so we decided to hold another one.
That's right. All of the qualifying candidates
are here right here, right now, and they're ready to go.
So, without further ado, here is the
"Late Night Democratic Presidential Debate."
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome to the "Late Night 2020 Democratic Presidential Debate."
I'm your moderator, Seth Meyers.
Let's get started.
Mayor Bloomberg, let's start with you.
Of all of the ads we see on television,
how many of them are yours?
-95%.
-Senator Sanders, Pete Buttigieg dropped out
of the race this week.
What's yet to come for Mayor Pete?
-The most important years of human development.
-Vice President Biden, the next question is for you.
What is your favorite way to speak?
-In ways that, in fact, make no sense.
[ Laughter ]
-Senator Warren, what is the last thing you ate for lunch?
-It was Mayor Bloomberg.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Mayor Bloomberg, you have been working hard
to court Black voters.
How is that going?
-If they were white, it would have been a lot easier.
-That makes sense. That makes sense.
Senator Sanders, what is the motto of the U.S. Congress?
-Everything is impossible.
-Senator Warren, who do you hope gets voted out of the Senate --
Mitchell McConnell, Ted Cruz, or Lindsey Graham?
-All of the tools.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Senator Sanders, the next question is for you.
How would you describe the group The Village People?
-Black, and white, and Latino,
Native American, and Asian people.
-Oh, you know what?
Oh, there is that song of theirs I love.
Liz and Bernie, you want to sing it with me?
[Singing] It's fun to stay at the...
-Y. -M. -C. -A.
-[Speaking] Mayor Bloomberg, what does a racist person say
when they want you to think they're not racist?
-I know a lot of Black people.
[ Laughter ]
-Senator Warren, what did Mr. Potato Head
say to Mrs. Potato Head when the box fell off the shelf,
spilling the pieces everywhere?
-Those are our eyes and ears on the ground.
[ Laughter ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Vice President Biden, to the best of your knowledge,
what is the McDonald's slogan?
-150 million people have been killed since 2007.
-I don't think that's right.
Senator Sanders, what would you say if I did this?
-End the gun show.
-Hey!
Hey, Mr. Steyer, what are you doing here?
I thought you dropped out.
-I am scared.
-You can stick around, then.
Mayor Bloomberg, what role did Jake Gyllenhaal play
in "Brokeback Mountain"?
-A naked cowboy.
-Senator Warren, what happened at your seventh-grade sleepover
when Tracey's mom brought out Pepsi instead of Coke?
-I packed up my stuff, and I went home.
[ Laughter ]
-Mayor Bloomberg, what do you think of
"Ellen's Game of Games"?
-Their human rights record is abominable.
-Senator Warren, what do you get
when you let your cow smoke weed?
-High stakes.
-High steaks.
Follow-up -- what do you get when you cross
a penis with a potato?
-Dictators.
-Dick-taters.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Vice President Biden, what would you do
if your Internet was down,
and you couldn't get to any porn sites?
-I got magazines.
[ Laughter ]
-Senator Sanders, is it true that,
during season one of "American Idol,"
you preferred Justin Guarini over Kelly Clarkson?
-I have cast thousands of votes, including bad votes.
That was a bad vote.
-Mayor Bloomberg, what does it say on your Tinder profile?
-I'm 6 feet tall.
[ Laughter ]
-Vice President Biden, first thought when the edible hits?
-I have more hair than I think I do.
[ Laughter ]
-Mayor Bloomberg, what is the one thing
that scares you the most?
-Kids, particularly kids in their late teens.
[ Laughter ]
-Vice President Biden, who goes to
the Buffalo Wild Wings in Tampa?
-Chads in Florida.
-Mayor Bloomberg, what did Donald Trump say
when his son, Don Jr., was born?
-For the next 20 or 30 years,
we're gonna live with this catastrophe.
-Senator Sanders?
Senator Sanders?
[ Cheers and applause ]
The next question is for you.
Do you believe in vampires?
-In one form or another,
they exist in countries all over the world.
-Vice President Biden, we have time for one last question.
How does Donald Trump make love to his wife?
-With a small D.
-Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like we're out of time.
So, on behalf of the candidates, have a good night.
We'll be right back with John Oliver.