[TRACK: Carl Douglas - Kung Fu Fighting]
STEVE (VO): I'm not going to try and stabilize this shot in post because it's...
I'm t- I can't.
And I-- I just-- I don't understand how people are able to get hungover
and then go out and drink more
and then get hungover again.
How is anybody that powerful?!
I'll get hungover once and be done for the rest of the year.
Either way, this is my guide to being hungover.
And also a bunch of other stuff happens.
♪ Am I mORE ♪
[I lied. TRACK: THiNGYBOBinc - Sugar, We're Going Down Kung Fu Fighting]
I'm glad I stopped at Carl's Jr. because...
golly gee, this looks delicious.
What did I order?
A plain hamburger and some chicken nuggets because there's nothing better than
What the fuck is this
Overall, it was a pretty peaceful morning, minus the hangover.
I was able to read a couple headlines with some articles, not really get the full information.
But that's just how I like my news.
Don't bash it until you try it, duude.
When I got home Alyssa was...
dressing up the dogs.
There was time to put them on.
After performing what many would consider animal abuse,
it was time to head over some Steve Zaragoza's place and pick up a bicycle that I bought from him.
Because after buying an engagement ring,
and being audited,
and losing my job,
a bicycle seemed like a good option.
Now, I may not have frunk money,
but I definitely didn't have enough storage space in my cou pay for this bike.
The only reasonable solution seemed to be to ride the bike home
and Uber back to my car.
I headed for the freeway.
Unfortunately, after two hours
it was very clear to me that cars were created to go much further distances in quicker amounts of time.
All I could do was call for help.
STEVE: Hello?
STEVE: Can you pick me up?
STEVE: I- Well, I don't know.
I-I, uhh, rode my bike pretty far and I don't see any street signs...
STEVE: I just bought a bike.
STEVE: I don't know.
STEVE: Do G... Do GPS.
STEVE (VO): After a disappointing hour wait, Alyssa finally arrived.
ALYSSA: I was planting a guava tree in the backyard and I drove an hour to find you on Find Friend.
STEVE: I don't want to be like this.
STEVE (VO): I didn't have time to worry about Commonwealth issues like
planting a dumbass guava tree
because I had a YouTuber party to go to in Studio City.
A.K.A. The City of Toby Turner.
I made sure to bring my ironclad Chastity Belt, just in case.
But enough about Toby.
I had 7 miles left until I was about to run out of fuckin' gas.
I didn't know how accurate my dashboard gas tracker was. It had never been that low before.
STEVE: It's never been this low before.
STEVE (VO): But then another part of me thought that this entire situation was...
kinda hot!
STEVE: And it's kind of making me feel alive...
Two Goddamn miles left!
I honestly just kind of wanna see what happens.
STEVE (VO): Too bad, though.
I'm just a little bitch that fills up on gas.
While I was filling up, I think I witnessed a fight.
Or, I don't know, some confrontation. It was weird.
Some dude was yelling at these other dudes.
And then this one guy pulled a gun out on the guy on the moped right there yeah
He's got a gun out kinda interesting and then this guy just drove off into the sunset, and that's L.A. for you
Now that I was done experiencing almost a crime
It was time to go to my friend's house for the youtuber party, so I know I didn't have to do this
But I'm expecting a thanks because I got you liquor.
Aww, thank you
(Svo) That little gimp boy didn't sound very sincere at all for a moment. I considered returning the read gifted alcohol
That Joel Rubin gave me. Being the wealthiest of all of my friends. I didn't expect much from Gizzy's apartment complex
I especially didn't expect to be shown up
So imagine my surprise
To learn that my friend was living a much higher class of life than I was I was jealous to say the least
You know you're hanging out with a bunch of loser when the dog is the life of the party that's when I realized that
Parker was at the party. Parker is a social cancer. I didn't know what to do. He just kept staring at me
He would barely say a word
I don't know how he has ever been in a successful relationship or ever will be, finally he broke the silence with
Correspondent.
(Svo) That's when my real friends showed up, but even Cib was a bit of a bummer.
Are you ok? (Cib) Yeah its just my allergies. I feel awful
I feel like a thousand knives are stabbing my allergy glands.
Your eyes look like, honestly they look like raccoon eyes
Yeah they're really sore
No
Just us three boys, you know, gettin invited the same party kind of weird that you know we all do videos together
And end up in the same place at the same time always.
Coincidentally.
(Svo) I've been hearing rumors about Cibs new pet. Obviously,
I was a little worried because Cib has a tendency to forget about anything and everything
I was interested to see if the animal was already dead.
Cib, you bought a fish?
Yeah dude, hes actually... well
She sorry the real name is turtle. I'll show you. That's a very good looking fish
Well, Shelby's fish
(Svo) On the other side of the tank, Cibs fish actually looked like it was already dead
Wake up!!!!!!
Dude that things dead.
Normally it's actually at the top floating like this with its mouth out, just waiting for food for hours
No joke, I snapchat it and then like an hour later I was like it's still doing this
The clown makes people laugh but who makes a clown laugh. Who's... I film everybody, but who films the guy that films
It's questions like that that kind of...
Make you think.
(Svo) It was finally time to leave this fever dream of a party
Great party and all guys uh....
(Svo) I'm pretty sure this guy was picking his nose just right in the middle of everybody
I don't even know what this guy's looking at. There's nothing on that wall.
What about your bro?
I just gotta go dude
jesus christ
(Svo)What happened next will shock you.
I went home to plant a tree because I owed, Alyssa
Do you want to know what kind of tree it is?
No. Lets plant this bitch.
(Svo) I really I hate to bring up sourcefed again, but it is such a huge part of my life
And I don't see a more fitting ending for this video because when I was planting this tree
I realized that in order to create life you also must destroy and as one life leaves this grshodv...