-According to a new report, "Pokémon Go"
was one of the top-grossing mobile games in 2019.
And with that news -- -Hey! Bl-bl-bl-bl!
Hey, everybody! Hey!
It's me -- Squattle, your favorite Pokémon character!
Bl-bl-bl-bl!
-Oh, boy, everybody. It's Squattle.
-That's right, Seth. Throw your balls at me!
[ Laughter ] Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!
-Yeah, no. We -- We go over this every time you're here.
In "Pokémon Go," it's just one ball, singular.
-Oho! That's no fun! [ Light laughter ]
Throw your balls at me, Seth! Bl-bl-bl-bl!
-So, Squattle, Squattle, are you happy
that "Pokémon Go" is the most downloaded mobile game?
-Oh, you bet. [ Chuckles ] It makes me want to
"Pokémon Go" out to dinner with my friends to celebrate!
Throw your balls at me, Seth!
[ Laughter ] Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo!
[ Light laughter ]
-Hi, everyone. It's me, Seth.
And I'm actually here with some sad news.
The writer playing Squattle in the sketch you're just watching,
his name is John Lutz, and he is currently in a coma.
You see, after we taped tonight's show,
John got into a severe accident where -- and this is true --
on his way home from work,
he somehow fell up eight flights of stairs.
[ Laughter ] Now, we were gonna cut
this sketch from tonight's broadcast
because it bombed in front of the live audience.
[ Light laughter ] Just bombed.
But because John is in a coma,
we've decided to air it in his honor.
So, please, do keep John in your thoughts
while watching the rest of this sketch.
[ Light laughter ]
-Look at me dancing!
♪ Cha-cha-cha, one, two, three ♪
♪ Cha-cha-cha, throw your balls at me ♪
Whoo-whoo-whoo! Whoo-whoo! Whoo!
[ Light laughter ]
-Now, let me just explain the backstory of this sketch.
So, back in 2016,
when the "Pokémon Go" craze was in full swing,
John wrote a script
about a fake Pokémon character named "Squattle,"
the Squattle you saw tonight.
And that sketch did, well, you know, fine.
Then 2 1/2 years later, at the request of no one,
John brought the character back,
and based on the audience's lukewarm response to that one,
we all assumed that was the last
anybody was gonna see Squattle. [ Light laughter ]
But then, lo and behold,
John brought the character back a third time,
based on today's barely news that "Pokémon Go"
was one of the top-grossing mobile games of 2019.
Still, we all, you know,
we all hope John pulls through from the coma.
And, you know, with that, here's more
of our beloved John Lutz as the unbeloved Squattle.
-Seth, this next song is called "The Squattle Fart Fart Dance."
Fart, fart, fart!
[ Laughing ] But don't push me too hard in the tummy,
or something else will come out.
[ Laughter ] A Squattle poopy!
[ Light laughter ]
-Now, I understand you may be thinking a few things.
You might be thinking,
"Seth, you don't seem that hot on the Squattle character."
Correct -- Squattle is bad, and I don't like it.
Why, then, you might be wondering,
did I bring it back for a third time?
Well, John has two children.
And he came into my office, tears in his eyes,
and said Squattle is the only thing they like,
which I later learned was a lie. [ Laughter ]
After I spoke to John's wife after the fall,
she said specifically they do not like Squattle --
it gives them nightmares.
He lied about his children.
[ Light laughter ]
And you may also be wondering
how one falls up eight flights of stairs.
Well, John was wearing the Squattle costume.
And due to the way it's designed, it's very top-heavy.
And when the costume falls, it creates its own inertia
and propels itself forward
in a way that totally defies gravity.
It's like a loaded dice. It's actually very impressive.
As to why John was wearing the Squattle costume home,
he told us all he might run into Squattle fans
who would want to get a selfie with him.
[ Light laughter ]
I mean...
Anyway, please enjoy the end of the Squattle sketch.
-Seth, I'm throwing my balls at your desk!
[ Laughter ]
Ha-ha-ha-hoo!
[ Light laughter ]
-[ Chuckling ] I mean, it is -- I love you, buddy.
It is worse -- worse than I remember.
[ Light laughter ] What? What's that?
Oh, he -- [Chuckling] he made a full recovery!
Oh! That is -- That is great news.
Thank you. Thank you.
So, on that positive note,
please enjoy the end of the sketch the final time --
the final time -- the final time
we will see Squattle.
-See you next month, everyone! -Squattle, everybody!