- So many people get stuck in their present.
Their present is dissatisfying,
and so they start to live in the past.
Why do we do that?
Many, many people don't even know
that the mind cannot future pace.
We think, "I'm going to see the future,
"visualize the future, live in the future.
"I don't like my present,
"but I'm going to live in this fantasy world."
The problem is that one of the things
you must understand about the mind
is it finds it very hard to future pace.
So people who say, "You know,
"next year, I'm going to have this beach body.
"Next year, I'll be a millionaire.
"Next year, I'm going to find love."
Your mind does not know what next year is.
If you've ever been around children,
they'll say things like, "Mommy, is it tomorrow today?"
If I said to my little girl, "We're doing that tomorrow,"
she'd go, "Is it tomorrow now?
"Is it yesterday?"
We get on a plane, we're going to Greece,
after 10 minutes she goes, "Are we there now, Mommy?
"When are we going to arrive?"
We get in the car to do a long journey,
she'd go, "Are we there?"
Because they can't future pace.
One of the reasons children who are bullied
have such a terrible, terrible time is when the parents go,
"Next year, you're in a different class,
"in a different school," the mind can't see that.
People who are very depressed,
one of the biggest issues for people with depression
is they cannot see a happy future.
And we say, "Oh, you'll snap out of it, it will be okay.
"Things are going to get better."
You must understand that the mind
finds it very hard to future pace.
You can learn to future pace,
but the mind tends to live in the present.
So here's the truth.
I can only tell you the truth.
Your past is gone. And you know what?
It's never coming back.
It's behind you, it's gone.
The present is all you have.
The future is promised to no one,
but do you know how to be happy?
You have to forgive the past,
especially if it was a disappointing past. Forgive it.
Don't keep saying, "I had a terrible childhood.
"My first husband, he was a nightmare."
Let the past go.
And now, feel really grateful for the present.
Even if you go, "Well, what have I got to be grateful for?"
To be happy, you must forgive the past.
Let the past go and then feel good about the present,
and feel super excited and positive about the future,
but live in the present moment.
You can't say, "Next year, I'm going to be slim."
You have to go, "I am becoming slim right now,
"this minute, my metabolic rate is better.
"I'm burning fat, I'm eating better."
"Next year, I'm going to make lots of money."
No, you have to say, "This minute, right now,
"I'm suddenly working out, finding ways to monetize my gifts.
"I'm creating wealth, I'm making money."
"In another year, when my kid's a bit older
"and they've gone to school, I can find love."
No, it has to be, "I'm finding love now,
"I'm becoming super successful right now,
"I'm becoming fit and lean and healthy right now, this minute."
You might think, "Well, that's really strange, it's not true."
It doesn't matter.
I had a client who came to me,
he had punched a wall and his hand was so painful,
and he was waiting to go to the fracture clinic.
And I began to do some healing on him.
And I said, "Your hand is healing right now.
"In fact, your right hand is using your left hand
"as a model, it's getting better.
"It's becoming pink and healthy."
Because, of course, it was red and inflamed.
And he said, "It's amazing.
"I kept saying that, 'My hand is healing now.
"'My hand feels comfortable, I have movement.
"'I can open my hand,
"'I can stretch my fingers.'
"And it all actually happened super fast."
And many times, when I see clients who've had surgery,
I say to them, "You know, imagine healing fast,
"'I'm healing faster.'"
I very rarely get colds,
but when I do I never go,
"Well, next week, I'll be okay."
I go, "This cold is working is way out of my body now.
"It's already going." I can do that with a cold,
with a headache.
And you know what?
So can you.
So for physical things, it's important to do it in the now.
But for emotions, people say, "I'm just so sad.
"I'm so depressed.
"I'm so lonely.
"I'm so low.
"I'm so broken."
When you make these statements, they are statements.
And if you understood that every single word you said,
and indeed thought, is a blueprint
that your mind and body must move towards,
you would never use negative words.
Of course, you have a choice.
Being negative is a choice, being positive is a choice.
And you can choose either, you have free will,
but you know what you can't choose?
What you do to your body,
to your immune system when you are super negative.
So you must turn that around.
So if you have an emotion of, "I'm so down,"
you need to say, "But I'm actually starting to feel better.
"I've decided to be positive."
When you're down, you take on the physiology of being down.
"I'm lost, I'm dying under the pressure.
"I can't cope.
"I'm falling apart."
You must stop,
banish, end those negative words.
Again, it's a choice. And say, "Well, I'm challenged.
"There is a lot of work on, but you know what?
"I'm getting through this.
"I'm particularly tired,
"my kid's been up all night,
"but I will be sleeping this evening.
"And just like a battery, I'm recharging."
You have to make it now.
You have to understand how your mind works.
If you want to have good mental health,
you need an understanding of how your mind works.
It works in the present tense only.
It really responds to positive words,
the words you put in front of words.
It loves positive pictures.
It likes being turned on and excited.
So here's a choice.
"I'm so low,
"I feel terrible,
"everything's sh*t,
"I can't even see a way out of it,"
that's making a picture. Or, "Well, this is a challenge.
"It's not perfect, but I'm coping.
"I have amazing coping skills.
"I can see the good in anything,
"and it's all right.
"It's great.
"It's good."
Occasionally, when I feel out of sorts,
I think, "Well, you know, this is great.
"I'm going to lie on the sofa all-day
"and watch lots of TV, catch up on all the shows.
"And then tomorrow, I'll be great again."
Of course, "Tomorrow" is future pacing,
but that's easier than, "Next year, next month."
But I always, when I'm visualizing and talking to myself,
I use the words, "Now, right now, this minute."
When I write my books, I go, "This book is successful now.
"I'm creating an amazing best-seller now."
I can't say, "Next year, when it's published,
"it will do well."
I have to go, "Now, this minute,
"I'm imagining my readers loving my books,
"even as I write them."
That may sound really arrogant,
but imagine if I was writing, going,
"Oh my God, it's not very good.
"No one's going to like this.
"What if it doesn't...?
"What if my publisher hates it?
"What if I go through all the effort
"and it doesn't even sell?"
And you see how I'm negative pacing.
So even though it's not true,
it's better for me to say, "Okay, I'm writing a best-seller.
"My audience will love this."
You see, you might say, "The first bit was a lie.
"It's going to be terrible, it won't sell."
You might say the second bit is a lie,
"You're lying to yourself
"when you say, 'This is a best-seller,
"'my audience will love it.
"'I'm already imagining people devouring that book.'"
But the first bit was a lie,
"What if it's awful?
"What if it dies?
"What if it stinks up the place and never sells?"
Here's your choice;
tell yourself a better lie.
If you're prepared to lie by saying, "I'm depressed.
"I'm dying.
"I'm sinking.
"I can't get out of this black hole.
"I've got the black dog.
"I've got the cloud of depression.
"I'm just useless, hopeless, a waste of space."
That is a lie.
Tell yourself a better lie,
and your mental health will be vastly improved.
Let go of the past.
Forgive it.
Let it go.
And if it was wonderful,
you still have to let it go because you can't go back.
Whether your past was wonderful or awful,
you must forgive the past and let it go.
If it's wonderful, you don't have to forgive it,
but you can't still go, "Oh, when I was 17, it was so great.
"My first partner was amazing.
"I was so happy.
"The school days were the best days of my life."
That's a lie, by the way.
Nature would never go, "Hey, you've just been born,
"let's give you great school days, then it's all downhill."
That can't be right.
Your school days are not ever the best days
of your life; they're the beginning.
Let go of it, forgive it
if it needs to be forgiven.
And now, feel great about where you are;
positive, optimistic, full of hope,
full of belief, full of great language.
And then you can feel excited about the future.
You can work towards the future,
"I'm writing a book, I'm working on my website,
"I'm creating something, I'm working on myself."
So you can feel great about the future you're creating,
but you must live in the moment,
because the moment's all you have.
And you can make any moment, and every moment, amazing.
And if you do those three things;
forgive and let go of the past,
feel good and grateful for your present,
and super excited and pumped about the future,
you can only have amazing mental health,
pretty much all the time.
If you want to learn more about how you can shift
your mindset to positive, a super positive state,
to give you a stronger belief in the present
and in the future, please join me on my upcoming webinar.
I can't wait to see you there.