whilst diana the princess of wales the victim of her own childhood and her own parents divorce was
she made a victim after her marriage to prince charles or was she playing the victim to gain
sympathy and support in her war against the royal family in this video i am looking at what
victims think and what victims feel so do stay watching because today let's talk about victims
and the victim mindset if you're new to my channel i'm sue blackhurst and i bring the world of social
psychology into everyday language i post videos every monday and every thursday so by subscribing
to my channel you'll get weekly insights into the fascinating world of human behavior
and if your life isn't quite what you're feeling it should be right now then do download my free
book on reframing self-critical thoughts the link is in the description box below it just might open
up a whole new set of opportunities for you and talking of new i've been quite excited
this week because my new logo was finalized just yesterday and i said i'll give you a shout out so
massive thank you to wish studio 308 for being so incredibly patient with the hundreds of revisions
it literally went back and forwards for a full day but you nailed it i love it i hope everyone
loves it too the death of diana the princess of wales is still making headlines around the world
and as new personal details of her life are brought to the surface there is still this ongoing
debate on whether diana was the manipulator or the manipulated many say the real diana was
headstrong mischievous and too clever for her own good whilst others believed she was this
helpless young beauty swept of her feet by the unfaithful and unloving prince but following
her divorce diana was painted as the victim as she distanced herself from any blame whatsoever
in the collapse of her marriage she was photographed embracing and protecting
william and harry images that showed this devoted mother resilient and defiant enough to protect her
kids from the world's invading headlines while still having to face the adversity by herself
when prince charles finally sat down to relate his version of events in that game-changing
interview with jonathan dimbleby princess diana appeared that same night in the famous black
off-the-shoulder cocktail dress renamed the revenge dress she was the wrong woman
and wanted the world to be on her side her press coverage pushed charles right to the bottom of
all the pages and nothing the royals could do or say would change this public opinion that diana
had been thrust into the royal family like a lamb to the slaughter and they needed to pay the price
a view that seems to remain to this day the newspaper headlines during her marriage
also supported this victim status diana driven to five suicide bids by uncaring charles and
marriage collapse led to illness and for those who still need to be convinced that
she was the victim of an adulterous husband and loveless marriage the 1995 televised interview
with martin bashir was a master class in public image management of a wronged woman
with her head bowed ever so slightly downwards enabling diana to cast her eyes down during the
interview and then raise them to the audience at that opportune moment cementing her emotional
turmoil and drawing every ounce of sympathy from those glued to their television screens
even her eye makeup was carefully applied to enhance this victim image prince charles and the
royal family have always been held accountable for diana's unhappiness and untimely death so
in order to work out whether dana's words in the martin bashir interview reflect the mindset of a
victim and were a true reflection of how she was really feeling or whether it was an orchestrated
performance in revenge for her husband's adultery we need to look at what it means to be a victim
and see how much of it comes from these external influences or are driven by internal beliefs
bad things happen in life and it's perfectly normal to feel sorry for yourself and feel
powerless in the face of challenge like a bereavement or a divorce
but whatever the reasons you have every right to feel that things were out of control because
at the time they were but there are also times when things happen where the mind allocates
fault and blame externally leading us to question our own value and what we do and do not deserve
having a victim mentality means that you blame your challenges in life on the actions
of others around you and behave according to those beliefs you will see your entire
life through the negative perspective that things constantly happen to you and beyond your control
and therefore it's something that you should be given sympathy for experiencing as in your mind
it is not your fault and you deserve better victim mentality is an acquired personality
trait and those with a victim mentality have in most circumstances being the victim of wrongdoing
by others or have otherwise suffered misfortune through no fault of their own victim mentalities
usually developed during childhood from family members and situations and it's well known that
diana struggled with the divorce of her own parents and the relationship with her mother
when someone has the belief that life is happening to them they tend to take this approach of
self-preservation when deciding how they are going to behave so they'll turn to a healer a psychic or
a doctor looking to be somehow fixed but without being willing to gain greater self-awareness they
fail to address the core issues that are causing the emotional pain and distress in the first place
in other words the victim believes that others are responsible for their feelings so they set about
seeking to protect themselves from the pain that they are actually causing in extreme cases the
victim has experienced so many unscrewed up and emotional experiences in their own life that they
believe that they are entitled to or have somehow earned exemption from fault for their own actions
no matter how painful they are whilst continuing to complain about every situation and blame
everyone else for everything that's happening it's almost like they feel that their past experiences
give them freedom to act how they want without any consequence this may sound familiar when looking
back at the many reports about diana's mindset but it also rings alarm bells for prince harry
because his actions over the past couple of years have been heavily criticized but his behavior and
lack of comprehension about the consequences of these actions has victimization all over it
diana and harry are both victims of a broken marriage but so was william
so the external factors experienced by both boys are the same meaning that
harry's internal beliefs point blame and fault on everyone else's doorstep other than his own
and it's well documented that princess diana turned to psychics and healers for critical
information about her life throughout her later years she became more and more paranoid
and felt that she couldn't trust anyone so sought help from these types of people
it wasn't unusual for diana to make five calls a day to her psychic healers leaving messages when
she couldn't get hold of them straight away so it feels like they provided her with this
emotional crutch to lean on leaving her feeling even more vulnerable without their guidance
so i do wonder if harry sees megan as his crutch and his healer and is turning to her
believing that she's not only the one person he can trust in the royal family but that she is the
one to save him from his own self-fulfilling prophecy at his heart a victim mentality is
actually a way to avoid taking any responsibility for yourself or your life because if you believe
that you have no power to do anything about it then you don't have the ability to take any action
the victim's mindset is black and white it's them against everyone and everything else and
by dismissing any belief that they are partly to blame for co-creating any negative consequences
they are also dismissing the possibility of or acknowledgement that they could be at fault it did
take time but diana gained in tremendous strength from the overwhelming public support and i think
she realized that she did have the ability to do something about her life and her public image
and i wonder if by doing the interview diana was in fact seeking an apology or at least recognition
for the impact of the wrongdoing from the royal family diana agreed to do her one and only
interview believing that she was a victim of her marriage and the institution that she married into
when in fact she was the victim of the heartless and dishonest lies that martin bashir fed her and
her brother el spencer to reel her in one of her closest friends said that she was in the
grip of interviewer martin bashir and there was not even a glimpse of the level-headed fun-loving
and compassionate person who was my friend one of the interview questions that bashir asked her was
do you really believe that a campaign has been waged against you a question that was bound
to challenge her trust and confidence in her friends family and palace staff and only now
25 years after she bared her soul i was seeing that bashir was both the inventor
and orchestrator of the very campaign that he was asking her about and a man who will only now
know what it feels like to have the world turn against you and go from being victor to victim
if you're looking for some support and guidance to all the challenges being thrown at you at the
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