There is an idea that is making its way through the mind of mankind,
that idea that is that if you're doing the right thing,
if you're fulfilling your purpose,
if you're following your joy,
then you will only feel good.
This is not the truth of existence.
At this particular point in existence,
all things come with a downside.
All positive things, come with a negative.
What Pain Will You Say YES To?
People want to feel good.
They want to be happy.
What people are really ultimately wanting
and an important part of life,
is to be able to take experiences
and to resolve them
so that they feel better,
instead of sitting in a place where you have to say:
"It is the way that it is.
And I just have to accept everything that's crappy."
That form of powerlessness
is something that humanity is here to transcend.
But I want you to consider for today
a different way of looking at life
than this.
What I want you to do is to ask yourself a question
that's going to call deeply into light
what your actual deepest joy is,
what your purpose actually is,
what the right thing for you actually is,
and therefore what the right course for you in life
actually is.
And that question is:
What pain will you say yes to?
Seeing as how my purpose
is the transformation of suffering,
most of what I teach you
is going to be how to transcend or transform pain.
And what i'm going to tell you today will seem, at face value,
to be in complete opposition to this.
It actually isn't, but it will seem that way.
In this video,
i'm going to teach you to look at pain and suffering
from a completely different angle.
Consider that all things with an upside,
come at the downside.
All things come with some kind of pain.
For example, fame comes with the downside
of things like never being able to trust the motives
of people trying to be near you,
and being treated like a commodity instead of a person,
and others actively trying to tear you down
and strip you of your power.
Entrepreneurship comes with a downside
of things like unstable pay,
no benefits,
less security,
discouragement from others who would rather you play it safe,
having to work longer and harder than others
and having a hard time getting loans.
being a winning athlete comes with the downside
of things like blood and sweat and tears,
and not being able to attend that family member's wedding,
because it happens at the same time as that competition.
If I were to sit a group of people down
and try to pin down what it is that they want,
chances are, that every single one of them
would say that they want to be rich.
Every single one of them would say
that they want a good relationship.
Every single one of them would say they want to be physically fit
and feel good in their body,
every single one of them would say they want to be number one.
But the reality is
that a very few of them, maybe even only one
would truly be willing to take the downsides of those experiences,
so as to actually achieve the upsides of those experiences.
In other words,
very few of them if only one, would say yes to those downsides.
For example, they all want to be rich
but maybe only one of them will say yes to financial risk
or to a 60-hour work week,
or to the delayed gratification of saving to invest,
or to the extreme pressure
of striking out on their own as an entrepreneur,
or to the extreme pressure of workplace competition.
They may all want a great relationship,
but maybe only one of them will say yes to revisiting their painful past
to resolve the trauma that's making them behave in damaging ways
in their relationships.
Or committing to difficult conversations,
or to opening themselves up again to connect
even when they've been hurt again and again
The pain that you say yes to,
and the struggle that you will willingly with your free will step into
defines your success in life.
The positive that everyone is looking for,
is born from the mud of all those things
that people are trying to avoid.
You can't cause yourself to like,
or to want those downsides,
that struggle, or that pain
that comes with the upsides,
with the successes and with the joy
that you're wanting.
But you can choose them with your own free will
as a statement of what you are willing to experience or endure
for the sake of what you want.
you can look at the thing you want,
and decide that it's worth the cost
to you specifically.
The thing that determines your success
relative to whatever it is that you want,
is not that you want it,
or even how much you want it,
it also isn't how much you enjoy it.
What determines success,
is what pain you are willing to face,
and what struggle you are willing to go through
and what you are willing to endure
for the sake of what you love and what you want.
So often when somebody says that they are really wanting something,
but no matter how much time goes by,
they aren't getting any closer to it,
then the reality is that either
they don't actually want that thing at all,
they just think they do,
or they're completely in love with the fantasy of that thing,
not the actuality of that thing.
Or they do want it,
but are simply not choosing any of the thorns that come with it.
In other words, they've decided on a subconscious level,
that they don't want it enough,
because the cost is not worth the benefit.
You've got to want the reward enough to say yes to the cost or the struggle.
For example:
I once knew a person who wanted to be a famous hollywood actress.
And when I say wanted,
I mean for her entire life.
She had her entire life planned out around it.
If you walked in her room,
every single aspect of her room,
every wall was covered with images
of what she hoped to achieve
as a big hollywood actress in the future,
and yet this dream of hers never came.
She was in love with the idea or the fantasy of the result,
and definitely not the process.
The flashing cameras,
the red carpets,
the million dollar paychecks,
being on the cover of magazines,
feeling significant...
But she hated
sitting next to a thousand other people in audition lines,
she hated the embarrassment and drudgery of rehearsing,
she hated the cutthroat atmosphere of los angeles,
she hated networking,
and so, she didn't really pour all of her energy into it.
She didn't actually say yes to it,
regardless of whether she didn't like it.
She refused to go to certain auditions,
she didn't really work on the craft of acting itself,
she avoided the business side of networking and marketing
and selling herself.
People may say that she has given up on herself,
that she was not courageous enough,
or that she just didn't have it in the cards for her.
None of this is the case.
What's really the case, is she didn't really want it.
And she definitely didn't want it enough.
She didn't want it enough, to say yes to the pain
and to the struggle
of the process of it.
You are here on the planet for a very specific reason.
Your reason for being here is no mistake.
This means that you have a purpose,
and your joy cannot be separate from that purpose.
And so, your purpose will be indicated to you
through what it is that brings you joy.
This means every single person that is walking the planet,
including you,
has something that they want,
and also has something that they want bad enough,
to say yes to all the downsides that come with it.
You may just not know what that something you want bad enough,
is yet.
What are you willing to struggle for?
What are you willing to endure pain for?
If you knew that life was not only roses, but also thorns
and you had to choose your thorns,
what thorns would you choose?
What are you so committed to, that no amount of failure,
only death, could prevent you from continuing to do it or to aim for it?
The quality of your life experience depends on you answering this question.
It depends on determining what values you care so deeply about,
that you're willing to struggle for them.
And how people answer this question
will give you the most accurate picture of how their lives will turn out.
And so it may sound particularly odd,
especially coming from me...
But a key element in surmounting your suffering,
especially when it comes to success,
is having the answer to this question:
"How do I choose to suffer in this life?"
have a good week.
If you like this video,
be sure to share it, like it, and also subscribe to my channel
so you can see more content like this.
But I want to personally thank you for taking the initiative
and having the bravery to step into the space of awareness.
Not only for yourself,
but for the benefit of those around you.
Subtitles by: Tanya Duarte