So this particular topic
comes from someone who wrote in and said,
"I feel like my husband is always
disappointed in me
and I don't know what to do to please
him.
I don't know where I stand."
My name is Paul Friedman, I founded The
Marriage Foundation,
what we're going to do here is something
that I usually don't do.
I'm going to talk more about your
husband
than about you. Usually with these topics,
I like to help the individual understand
themselves
because that way they understand where
these
feelings are coming from whether they be
anger, resentment, frustration
or feelings of jealousy
that kind of thing really requires you
to take a look at yourself and learn how
to control your mind.
But in this situation,
what it speaks about is about a lack of
understanding
of men, quite frankly,
because it's a very
difficult thing for a woman who has no
training in marriage and you could get
lots of training
here by subscribing to this channel so
you definitely should do that.
But there's a lack of training, there
is in our world right now this
idea of gender neutrality
which honestly is a terrible thought.
There is no such thing as gender
neutrality.
Men are men, women are women,
gays are gays, transgenders are
transgenders
and each of these
comes with a package of
biological input that changes how we
think,
how we behave, etc.
And so, it's very difficult for women
especially who have no training
because men are fairly oblivious to be
honest with you.
But women have an expectation
that men feel the way they do
and men don't. So I'm going to talk to
you about
men so you could see through
this sort of this veil of uncertainty
that is clouding you right now and
affecting you and your happiness. I want
you to understand your husband a little
better.
So let's understand we have to start
with
what we are because we are all the same.
In one aspect, we are all
souls, aren't we? And so, a soul
has no gender. A soul
is you might say, the pre-packaged being
before birth maybe after death, you might
say
who takes on a body in this world
be it a male or female and that's a big
change in how the mind
then operates in the world.
So women operate in the world based on
their
female gender, based on their biological
drives
which include carrying,
nurturing a new soul, a baby.
It is such a shame that in our world
right now there is all this debate about
whether a child is alive or not
when it's in the womb
because it misses the point. That debate
misses the point that we are
originally souls who have a body.
So once you've taken on this body the
gender
of that body has a lot to do with you.
And as a woman what's happening
is you have this compelling biological
urgency to protect children, to take care
of
babies to raise them and you don't
realize
that men are not
compelled by the same thing. They're just
not,
not biologically. Now men
have a different form of protection
where women's protection comes in the
form of nurturing
and caring, and checking in. Man's
protection is more external.
A man protects the family unit, the home,
the income, whatever, however, it
translates
but it isn't the same. A woman has a deep
heart connection
that she should be using
with her husband tremendously
but we're drained out of that, believe it
or not with this
whole woman's live movement and
everything.
Women are allegedly supposed to be
equal to men but they're not frankly,
they're superior
because they're tied to their heart. The
heart is the soul. There's a closer
connect
for a woman to her soul and the soul is
all love,
all forgiveness, all compassion.
And when you understand that a man
doesn't
have that, you can then understand
that he will not see you
the way you would see him if the rules
were reversed.
And for that, you need
to be compassionate towards him. See him
as
just not understanding.
Now I don't know,
maybe you're a terrible housewife, maybe
you don't give him enough sex, maybe you
don't take care of him with food, maybe
you don't smile enough at him, maybe you
argue with him, complain to him, criticize
him, I don't know.
It didn't sound like that in the email we
got for that person
but that is something to look at
because as a woman, the more that you
express these qualities of heart
the more your husband will appreciate
you.
And that's a fact, and it doesn't take
much because men are simple creatures.
And in fact, if you really pour it on but
it has to be sincere.
You have to become that person who does
that.
And if you really pour on that love
and generate the happiness in your
marriage,
no problem. You will see big changes
in how your husband responds to you.
So I hope this was helpful for you
of course, we have a couple of books at
The Marriage Foundation
that lay marriage out very very helpful.
You could
check their ratings and testimonials and
reviews
on Amazon and then we have,
if your marriage is in distress or if
you really want to jump-start your
marriage, we have a program for women
that is extremely -- again, check
check yourself. Take a look at the
reviews.
So we're here for you lastly,
very importantly, if you're having an
individual problem -- write in. It's a free
service at The Marriage Foundation. One
of our counselors
who is trained to our very positive
approach to marriage
will get back to you.