[wapshh]
TOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YA LADDIES!! MY NAME IS JACKSEPTICEYE!
And welcome to PEWDIEBOT!
It's a- [laugh]
It's something like Evie. It's actually made by the same people
S-same people who made Evie and Boybot and ChimpBot
And the William Shakespeare bot that's out now
But they made one for Felix. This is actually been in the work
For a really really long time and I'm glad it's finally out
Because I've been wanting to see it for AGES and ages
And it looks really cool, so...
Felix messaged me and he actually gave me a link to be able to play it for myself
To try it out and I'm really excited because I wanted to talk to Felix.
There's probably gonna be A BAJILLION let's plays of this on the Internet
A lot of people are gonna use this as an excuse
To try and whore out Felix's name and face and everything just tuhhh...
Get clickpa- clickbait videos
And I guess I shouldn't be really talkin' cause aren't I doing the exact same thing?
Not for clickbait reasons but i-it looked like that to, uh, for the outside perspective
So I shouldn't judge people too harshly
Umm... [laugh]
Anyway!! I've been talking to him for a little tiny bit: "We're gonna play a game"
No, HE said "We're gonna play a game" and I asked "What game?"
And then he said "Find all the golden eggs", so...
I think there's a bunch of easter eggs in this that we-we should just be able to try and find
But I have no idea how to find them. But, it's really freaky.
Ummmmmmmmm...
J: Hello Felix, my name is Jack!
[nice peaceful silence]
F: I will roast Jack. J: [laugh]
You'll roast me? [cracks voice] StOp brofisting me out through your head.
Ya CAN't roast me. You already roasted me. You can't double roast.
It's like lightning
(McQueen)
Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice (it actually does. Just extremely rare)
Ya can't roast me again. It just won't work
Actually, I should be saying this shit to him, not saying it to you guys
J: Ya can't roast me again. You already did that.
[the intense waiting]
(then it picks everything wrong)
J: C'mon
F: That's so nice of you.
[confused]
J: Okay?? I don't know how's that supposed to be nice of me, but moving on!
J: What is your name?
J: See how smart he is.
F: My name is Peeeewwdiepahhh! [a fabulous pic of the beast pops up majestically]
J: [laugh]
This is already better. Well the audio quality is a bit shitty
So you're gonna have to forgive that. I think he said that they were gonna update it eventually.
Ummmm....
Wel-heheh[cute laugh]
The fact that he knows his name and everything now
And it's not like "My name is blah bleh blah blah blah"
Because this is all goin' on of a databank of what Felix has said?
[again confused]
Kind of? Or like it's goin' off what it thinks the responds should be
Rather than goin' off what a big collection of people have already said like Evie and those things will do
But they run on the same script so...
I'm curious how it all works
Ummmmmmm...
What would Pewdiepie say?
Din jävla fitthora (with bad swedish lol)
[you realize this doesn't pick up you Irish-Swedish accent]
[and again it fails you]
[miserably]
[cute little smile]
F: Wait I don't...
[and then BAM!! Edgar pops up]
J: Team geography Torah. HELLO Edgar!!
Edgar just came through your face ["came" ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ]
[ooohhh this is gonna be good]
[then it picks "Enter" instead of "Edgar"]
[the face of confusion]
F: Wait, what is the opposite of right?!
J: ENTER just came through your face.
What is the opposite of right? -laughs- Not you!
The opposite of right is left!
I meant to say... -flustered- I've been... ah, fuck...
F: True!! So then what is the opposite of right!?!
J: NATURAL FLUCTUATIONS left.
It's- it's 'cos Felix doesn't like me, isn't it?
It's 'cos Felix doesn't like me that he- mneyh- as soon as it was programmed to hear my voice it decided to be a dick.
It just be like, "Hey, that's Jack's voice, let's mess with him!"
Or maybe it's just 'cos of my Irish accent and nothing picks up what I'm sayin'.
Is it because I'm Irish that you have no idea what I'm sayin'?
F: I swear I've every idea of what you're saying!!
J: Then why are you not-?! -exasperated sigh-
Why are you not reacting properly, then?
F: Because I am a fabulous being!
J: Heh- -Felix impression?- Fabulous.
I guess I can't, like, fault that.
-laughs and reads text-
-higher pitched voice- FA, FA, FABULOUS!
Tha- that's like, flawless logic, I can't really argue against that.
Am I fabulous?
F: I'M SO FABULOUS!!!!
J: No, ME! Am I fabulous?!
Am I fabulous, question mark.
F: I feel fabulous!
J: No one gives a SHIT about you, Felix!
'S not all about you! Not all the time!
Sometimes it's about other people too! Stop fuckin' putting fabulous out in front of me.
So, this can't do the question mark thing, it just says question mark. Okay.
Do you like Jacksepticeye?
F: Jacksepticeye is an Irish little crybaby!
J: -laughing- Oh, you fucking asshole!
Come on, man!
I'm- I'm nice!
You like me! ...Right?
At least, you say you do, I don't know if you're lying in real life, just to make me feel better.
If you're talking shit about me behind my- ARE YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK, FELIX?!
Please no... Love you... -kisses fist- Whatever... -chuckles-
That's insulting.
F: You seem really stern lately!
J: Ha! Am I stern like Howard?
That's a terrible joke. I'm not gon- I'm not even gonna say that into it. -laughing-
Uhm... what other YouTubers? What do you think of Mark?
F: Hello everybody, Markiplier here!
J: -laughs and does a flawless Felix impression- Merkiplier here!
-Mark impression- Hello everybody!
-wheezes- Or should I say... -does a scarily good Mark laugh-
What'll happen if I actually do the laugh into it?
-does the laugh really close to the microphone-
-laughs- "Sorry! Didn't work! Please check your microphone or speak louder!"
You're tellin' Jacksepticeye to speak louder?!
Everybody else is like, "Jack, shut the fuck up, you're too loud!"
Uhm... what do you think of Felix?
F: What do you want your name to be!?
J: Uh... Jack?
F: Jack's hair looks like a deodorant!
J: -laughing- I'm so glad that they actually have the references in there as well!
'Cos that's what he was sayin' to me before.
He was like, "This is what you think you look like, and this is what you really look like." and it was just a thing of Dove Fresh.
-laughing- 'Cos it's green.
Jack's hair is AWESOME.
F: I ship Jack and Mark.
J: -laughs- For fuck's sake...
NO! NO! WE'RE NOT GOING DOWN THIS ROUTE!
NO. No shipping.
F: Let's arm wrestle!!
J: Let's fuckin' do it, bro! Left or right arm?
F: Right.
J: Okay.
3, 2, 1, go!
F: Ja wo bleibtst du hab mich extra hübsch gemacht nur für dich.
J: WHAT?! Why are you speaking German?!
I don't know what that means, can I translate this? Give me a sec.
So, apparently what it means (it detected to German, excellent, as it should) "Yes, where are bleibtst hab mich extra pretty made just for you."
That makes NO sense.
Why are you speaking German?
F: Because your(sic) COOL!!
J: Ohh... oh... OH! Deal with it!
Oh Felix, you old Swedish dog, you. You spelled "you're" wrong, though.
"Because your cool." Because my cool what?
'Cos my cool whip?
Which, funnily enough, is actually how I'd say that. Cool "hwip".
Like, that's the way I say whip.
Like, the fuckin' accent, man.
You know what, no! It makes me unique!
I'm a special little flower!
I thought you were Swedish, though.
F: Nah, I said you are not me!
J: I didn't fuckin' say I was you.
Are you Swedish?
F: I'm a Swedish viking! Just without the muscles and manliness.
J: I can see that. You definitely have the blond hair and blue eyes, you're definitely stereotypically Swedish, but you don't have any of the muscles and manliness.
Like, ANY of them. If I had to go find them, a microscope wouldn't be able to.
I'd need a sniffer dog to try and find your muscles, Felix.
Sorry. It's just the way it is. You need to bulk up with meatballs. Start building more furniture, start lifting a bunch of shit.
-laughing- Can I fit anymore stereotypes into this video?
I love drinking alcohol, because I'm Irish.
F: Occasionally. What do you consume?!
J: Oh! He's not actually gonna make fun of me for this, like- like he normally does.
STOP, fuck off wit' yer fabulous!
He's actually just- uh, considerate.
Mostly beer, but I like Jack Daniels and Coke too.
F: I'm roasting your whole family, Jack.
J: FUCK YOU! No, no, we're not goin' back to this!
No! Nuh uh! Did you- oh, he looks sad.
Did you anticipate that I'd play this? That I'd mess around with this?
I bet you did, and that's why they made you record sentences like this!
Uh... what- wait, what was my response to that? You roasting my whole family...oh.
I eat potatoes for breakfast.
F: No. My girlfriend Marzia really hates dogs.
J: EXPOSED! EXPOSED!
Marzia hates dogs, they have two dogs!
And it says that they hate them.
What about Edgar and Maya?
F: It's DEUTSCHLAND!!
J: Ah, fuckin' Edgar shows up. But you said Marz-
You said Marzia hates dogs. What about Edgar and Maya?
And, we broke it.
Nice.
F: EDGAR DEUTSCHLAND!!
J: "Lewis and Mercier hates dogs what about Edgar and Maya." STOP with the fuckin' Edgar on the screen.
Why does Marzia hate dogs?
F: I love Maya, but Edgar is Satan.
J: Aww, poor Edgar. I wanna meet that dog in real life!
I've met Felix twice, but it's never actually been at his house.
We go to, like, Seattle and LA to meet each other, but never actually just a 45 minute flight over to Brighton.
Why don't I ever do- OH GOD HE TURNED INTO A ROBOT.
Jesus christ!
Why did you turn into the Terminator?
F: I'll be back!
J: I'm sure you will. "Why did you tell me the terminator." Come on, pick up my voice!
Hello?! Is this thing- is this thing on? Hel- he- IT'S ON!
Why isn't it picking up my voice properly?!
You are a big sucky suck. [Real mature, Jack.]
F: Would you like to have a battle of wits?
J: Oh, please. PLEASE.
I grew up with the wits. Molded by the wits. It's in my blood, it's in my nature, as an Irishman!
Ya gotta be fast to live around these parts! And in a family with 2 older brothers and 2 older sisters, I had to be very quick growing up.
You think you- actually, we've had a battle of wits in real life. And I absolutely DESTROYED you.
Because you're not good at it, Felix. You're not good at the fast responses. You're not go- you're not lickety-split.
You need to be fast. Okay.
Okay, hit me with your wits.
F: It doesn't hurt if you don't believe in it!
J: "It doesn't hurt if you don't believe in it." Um, it hurts if I feel pain and start bleeding.
Are you witty?
F: Wait, what is wit?!
J: I already won. "You wanna have a battle of wits? Sure, hit me!" And then he's like, "Wait, what is wit?"
I've already won. I've already won. Game over, folks. Game over. Pack it up, let's go home. It's all done. Yay! WINNER!
I'M THE BEST!
If you don't know what wit is, then I guess I already win.
F: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!!
J: Hey, that's my line! "Don't even fuckin' worry about it!" That's what I always say all the time, and I have no idea where that came from, and I say it way too much.
That- "Don't even worry about it" and then "oh yeah, baby" or somethin' like that, but whenever I'm doing something in a game, I'm always like "Yes! YES! OH YEAH, BABY!"
And then I'm- and then I listen to it back, and I'm like, "Why did I say that 400 times in that episode?" So annoying!
Okay! What can we finish on? OH! Top of the mornin' to you, laddies.
F: Yeah it is, what are you gonna do about it?!
J: Ugh, it said fuckin' ladies! LAD-DIES.
Top of the morning to you.
F: Hahaha, are you a Jacksepticeye?
J: -starts laughing- "Are you a Jacksepticeye?"
Not only am I a- am I- A Jacksepticeye, I am THE Jacksepticeye.
I am THE Jacksepticeye.
F: Don't be yourself, be a pizza!!
J: 'S good advice. Pizza is much better than I will ever, ever, EVER be.
Pizza is much better than most people would be, because pizza is awesome.
Pizza is the best food.
F: Why is pizza the best thing ever?
J: If I have to tell you, then that means you don't agree with me, and I don't think we can be friends anymore.
Because it's fucking delicious.
F: So you like non-delicious things?
J: -repeated book slamming- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Felix, I'm going to say this once, and once only.
F: Come on, the way you used it does not make sense!!
J: Okay, fair enough, I guess I should've finished out the sentence.
The thing I was going to say, is... I love you.
SHIT!
F: I swear I've never met someone who thinks so much like me.
J: It's meant to be!
It's meant to be! Oh, beautiful! Cue the romantic music!
-kisses the air- Felix! -more air kissing-
[the best singing in history ever] ♩ And we can buiiiiiild this bridge together! ♩
♩ Noooooothing's gonna stop me nooowww! ♩
♩ Dooooo doo DOOOO doo doo doo doo doo! ♩
'Kay well that does it for this video on Pewdiebot! I don't know if I'm actually gonna do a whole lot more of them, because, again, I don't want people to think that I'm doing this just because
Felix's name and face and all that kinda stuff is in it, beca- ugh, I dunno.
It's a very fine line when you're on YouTube, because there are some people out there that are gonna do it, and then be like, "Oh! I can get views if I put Felix in the thing."
And I don't want it to ever seem like that. That's why I don't put their names in, like, the titles or thumbnails or anything really anymore, for the collab stuff, 'cos I don't want people to get the wrong
impression of why I do these things, but I did THIS because Felix messaged me about it, and he was really excited about it, and I think it was a really fuckin' cool thing.
'Cos most of us have actually done- like, most of me and my friends, have done the Evie and Boibot stuff, so to actually see one of us AS one is so damn cool!
I'm so happy for him, I'm so proud of him. -laughs-
Well anyway, THANK you guys so much for watching this episode. If you LIKED it, PUNCH that like button IN the face...
LLLLLIKE A BOSS!!
AND, high fives all around. -wapoosh, wapoosh-
But THANK you guys, and I will SEE ALL YOU DUDES...
IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!!
-OUTRO LOL-
Damn! I meant to say I'm standing up because Felix always stands up, and to TALK to Felix, one must THINK like the Felix.
Think like the- WOWOWOWOWOWOW