.
Sometimes we feel loneliness.
What happens is that
our mind —
what I call “monkey mind”
or “crazy monkey mind” —
likes to zoom in.
If there are a lot
of big problems in our life,
we do not really feel lonely.
But sometimes,
loneliness becomes our major problem.
Then,
we “make a mountain
out of a molehill.”
It is very important
how our mind creates reality.
Sometimes we feel like,
“I do not really have good friends.”
Normally
we have one best friend,
or maybe two.
Having more than two is normally very difficult.
Sometimes we feel like,
“Oh, I do not like being around people,”
and we make ourselves lonely.
Then later on, we forget that
we created that environment,
and we feel lonely again.
I went on retreat —
a four-and-a-half-year wandering retreat.
Sometimes, I was in the mountains,
and there was nobody —
no human being around me.
I had to walk for two days down
or two days up.
There was nobody.
Sometimes I felt lonely.
But then
what I discovered was
solitude.
I remembered that I was in solitude.
Actually, we can be totally alone
but change our perspective
on solitude
and appreciate it.
Although I was alone . . . I knew I was alone —
there was nobody there to talk to.
Maybe I could talk to the rocks or trees!
But other than that,
there was nothing.
But I could still feel
there was a connection between me
and my friends.
They were not there,
but they were around the world.
I still had a connection with my teachers.
I still had connections with my students,
although all of my students
did not know where I was.
I especially had a connection with my path —
my practice.
My spiritual journey and my practice
also had become one of my best friends.
Therefore,
begin with appreciation practice.
You can write down how many friends you have.
Normally, you have only one or two real friends.
Maybe you have more than one or two friends.
Appreciate that.
You have some family members and relatives.
Try to connect with them. Maybe write a letter
to your friends or family members,
and do not feel shy about it.
It does not matter
how your relationship was in the past.
Let go of the past.
If you can, have social gatherings,
and spend some time
having good conversations with a few people.
These are very good things.
For meditation,
I think the most important thing is that
there are so many good friends
within us.
There is your awareness —
the basic quality of the mind.
Awareness is your friend,
and your source of refuge,
and also your teacher.
At the same time,
you have love and compassion.
They are your best friends!
You have wisdom,
which is also one of your best friends.
So your best friends are love and compassion.
Your other best friends are wisdom
and awareness.
All of these are really great within us.
Of course, in the beginning,
it is not easy to believe that
we have these best friends within,
but eventually you will believe this.
It is really important
to learn appreciation.
Every day, appreciate three things
about yourself.
Appreciate what is around you
and in the world.
Then change the focus of your appreciation.
Maybe one day focus on yourself — on three things.
The next day,
appreciate three things around you.
The next day, appreciate things about the world.
Then, after one month,
if you do this every day,
you will not feel so lonely!
Thank you!