Attraction and chemistry
can ruin your chances of a happy relationship.
What?
Yep, true.
Potentially, relationship killers.
Why sexual attraction,
emotional connection, and even love
don't guarantee a happy long-term relationship.
In this video we'll look at
10 reasons why relying on sexual attraction,
chemistry, and even love
doesn't guarantee a long-term happy relationship.
If you're due to my channel
I help men decode modern women
so you can find, attract, and keep your keeper.
My videos are for you
if you like and want
to have better relationships with women
welcome to just the tip.
Okay, keep in mind
most of these are not necessarily
deal breakers in and of themselves
but you will need to work
on the areas that are out of sync.
And yes, some things are non-negotiable.
You can let me know in the comments,
which ones are deal breakers for you
as we go through them.
All right, so why chemistry, attraction,
and even love is not enough.
One, incompatible life goals.
Sure, sparks may fly and hormones may rage
but if you're on two different paths
you're in for a bumpy ride
not the fun kind.
Example, you meet a woman
who sets your heart racing
and the chemistry is off the charts.
But as you spend time together,
your priorities and goals
are fundamentally different.
You want to settle down and start a family
or if you're older be near your kids and grand-kids.
Meanwhile, she wants a carefree,
nomadic lifestyle or frequent travel
and she's allergic to children.
Ooh, end result.
Despite attempting to make it work
you find yourselves constantly arguing
like rival factions in a never ending battle.
The clash of life priorities
becomes as epic as a Game of Thrones episode.
And despite the great sex
there's no happy ending.
Solution, find someone with compatible life
and relationship goals.
Similarly, number two, shared interests.
Now, I know this feels counter intuitive
but it's not all about
the romantic feeling butterflies
without at least some shared
interest and activities
your relationship might end up
being a one pony show.
Example,
you're head of her heels for a lady
who's eager to please rare but can be found
but outside of that
you struggle to find common ground.
You love nature, road trips,
and exploring new cuisines,
and she's more into binge watching,
celebrity gossip, YouTube videos
and makeup tutorials.
Without shared interests and activities
your relationship feels disconnected and shallow.
End result,
you try to inject some excitement
into the relationship outside in the real world
but your attempts to connect
feel forced
and like a bad pickup line at a singles bar.
Eventually there's a yawning chasm of boredom
and both of you start eyeing the exits
like escape artists.
Solution, choose someone with
some shared interests
or someone who's open to
joining you in your interests.
And of course, you'll also need to be
open to joining her.
Three, communication skills.
Pillow talk is fun
but are you mistaking lust for love?
Can you actually talk about the serious stuff?
If you can't communicate effectively
you'll end up in a web
of misunderstandings and frustrations.
Example, you're deeply attracted to a woman.
The sparks are undeniable
however, when it comes to resolving conflicts
she shuts down or resorts to
passive aggressive behavior.
Despite the chemistry
the lack of healthy communication
leads to unsolved issues
and gradually erodes
the happiness in the relationship.
End result, despite your best efforts
resolving conflicts becomes as successful
as trying to navigate a maze blindfolded.
Your conversations resemble
a never ending game of charades
with no winner in sight.
Solution, watch my video
how to resolve conflict with an angry woman.
Link at end.
Four, emotional support.
Woo, it's not all about
the physical fireworks, fellas.
You need someone who's got your back
when life throws curve balls.
If she's emotionally absent or totally selfish,
your relationship will feel like
a desert oasis with no water in sight.
Example,
you've fallen ahead of her heels
and the chemistry is undeniable
but when you face personal crisis
like losing a job
or dealing with a family issue
or a health issue she says
stop complaining and "man up."
You end up feeling alone
and lonely in the relationship.
End result, her inability to be there for you
during tough times
creates emotional disconnection
like reaching out for a hug
and getting a handshake.
The lack of emotional support
leaves you feeling emptier than a jar of pickles
at a hotdog stand, poor pickles.
Solution, surprise,
be the ripple in your own pond.
Discover how to effectively ask
for your needs to be met by yes
watching my video on
how to handle conflict with an angry woman.
Five, trust and loyalty.
Love may be blind but trust isn't.
If she can't help but seeking out attention
or validation from other men
you are in a world full of hurt.
Trust and loyalty are the glue
that holds a relationship together.
Example,
you're irresistibly drawn to a woman
who's charming and vivacious.
However, you discover her
effervescent charisma with other men
crosses your boundaries
despite the strong sexual attraction
and maybe even love.
Her lack of respect
undermines the foundation of your relationship
causing ongoing doubts and conflict.
End result, you attempt to rebuild trust
after every breach
but the cracks in the trust keep widening
and the relationship resembles
a leaky boat that's taken on water
faster than you can say Ahoy matey.
Solution, find a matey
with similar values on trust,
loyalty, and boundaries.
Which brings us to six,
shared beliefs and values.
You know what they say opposites attract
but let's be real.
If you're marching to the beat
of totally different drums,
you're probably not in the right band.
Example,
you're swept off your feet by a woman
who makes your heart skip a beat
and your Johnson standard attention.
However, as you dig deeper
you realize she has completely
different religious or political beliefs
that clash with yours and create
constant disagreements.
End result, you try to reconcile
your clashing values by agreeing
to not talk about them,
but things constantly come up
that feel like a tug of war
with neither team letting go of the rope.
Compromise feels as elusive
as finding a unicorn at the petting zoo
and the relationship turns into
a battle of ideologies, criticism,
and contempt.
Solution, choose a team mate
with values and beliefs in sync with yours.
Seven, personal growth.
We are all evolving humanoids my friends.
If your lady can't handle your personal growth
and stifles your progress or vice versa
one of you will end up feeling
like a bird in a gilded cage.
Example,
you're dating or in a relationship
with someone who you find incredibly attractive
and the chemistry is electric.
But as you explore potential new passions
you notice she discourages or belittles you.
Hmm, her insecurity about your personal growth
suffocates you and leaves you feeling unfulfilled.
Or maybe it's you
who feels threatened by her growth.
End result, one of you strives for personal growth.
The other seems more interested
in pruning big dreams rather than nurturing them.
It's like trying to climb a mountain
with a backpack full of rocks.
Solution, find someone
with compatible personal growth ideals
and work on making each other
feel included in that growth.
Unpack those boulders.
Eight, conflict resolution skills.
Let's face it, no relationship is perfect.
There will be disagreements
and if you can't navigate
stormy waters without capsizing the ship
you're in for a titanic sized disaster.
Okay, that was a bad one but whatever.
Example, you're in love with your lady
and the chemistry is, woo.
However, when conflicts arise
instead of addressing the issues constructively
you both resort to yelling
blame shifting or putting up your walls.
The inability to navigate conflicts effectively
takes a toll on your emotional connection
leaving you feeling frustrated
and unsatisfied.
End result, despite your attempts
to resolve conflicts and some great makeup sex.
It's like watching a tennis match
where both players are hitting the ball out of bounds.
Solution, learn to resolve conflicts
like a relationship pro.
This is fixable.
Nine, commitment and effort.
Relationships aren't effortless, folks.
They require ongoing maintenance
just like a car or staying fit.
If either of you aren't willing to put any effort
it's like trying to keep a plant alive
without watering it.
Spoiler alert,
it withers and dies.
Example,
you're initially swept away by the intense
attraction and chemistry
but as time goes on
you notice she's not putting any effort anymore
or maybe it's you.
She prioritizes only her own names and desires.
End result, yeah, give it your all.
But her communication is as flaky
as a croissant left out in the sun.
Hmm, croissant.
You're investing more time and effort
than a contestant on a reality TV series
but she's more interested in being
the star of her own show.
Solution, time to have a conversation
about your needs
and if she's not interested
in trying to meet them
it might be time to exit stage left
and find someone who knows
how to share the spotlight.
10, external factors.
Life's a roller-coaster
and it will throw some seriously
sharp turns at your relationship.
Money problems, career woes,
meddling in-laws, young kids,
adult kids, aging parents, you name it.
If your foundation is weak,
it's like trying to build a house on quicksand.
Example,
despite the attraction and chemistry you share
life throws unexpected challenges your way.
Financial struggles or demanding work schedules
put strain on the relationship.
End result, you try to weather life storms together
but the relationship becomes turbulent,
as turbulent as a cyclone chasing a tornado.
Solution, if your values, beliefs
and goals are in alignment
and you use some of my suggestions
for conflict management
you will likely be able to weather the storms.
But if your values, beliefs, and goals
are not compatible
life's challenges may feel insurmountable
and you will get swept away in despair.
Remember, these outcomes
are simply cautionary tales
but a healthy relationship
can't survive on makeup sex,
chemistry or attraction alone.
They're definitely ingredients
in the recipe for a happy, long-term relationship
but you also need other ingredients to thrive.
So, spice it up,
learn to communicate, grow together
and always keep a sense of humor handy
because you are going to need it.
And now I would like to know from you,
which of these situations have you experienced?
Share your stories in the comments
so others can learn.
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